Toddler with possible autism

[StudentNurse3]

Can anyone tell me how SWs can tell if the toddler's speech delay and motor delay is due to negligence or if it is autism?

There is autism and ADHD in the family. However the elder DC hasn't had any delays.

The SWs want to put a supervision order onto her/toddler. They are coming from the angle that it is negligence. But I don't know how they can difirentiate and I'm not sure this is fair.

Any information or advice much appreciated.

Ok, thanks.

Ok, thanks

I don't want you mean. And how exactly am I stopping them doing their job??

Not necessarily, it depends how obvious it is ,it's a huge spectrum, my son was diagnosed after seven months of assessment, s but he is severely impacted by his autism, I'd the autism present, s more subtlety it could two years or more

For the final time, she/we are engaging as much as humanly possible. But my DN will only get the right support if the right assessment is made. I work in MH so I know how vitally important that is.
She/we are fully engaged in fighting for the best for both of her DC. My DSis is on the road to recovery now, thank goodness.

Im autistic and suffered neglect as a child. Sadly for me there was no safeguarding, no questions asked and no help available. I'm pleased things have changed for our children.

It's not speech delay alone.

Yes, I understand that. What I was asking is how to best evidence the autism/ADHD on both sides of the family.

My DS was diagnosed after one assessment, but it took 2 years to get the assessment.

My son is selective mute he doesn’t speak at all in school we’ve never been referred to ss because of it so obviously there’s a lot more to it!

Hello OP,

First off, you might find it helpful to ask MN to move this thread to the SN chat board, as you'll get posters there with experience of these specific issues.

Secondly, does your sister have a diagnosis of autism herself, or is it suspected? I'm so sorry to hear she tried to end her life, that is incredibly sad.

As you may know, MH issues are frequently co-occurring with autism, particularly in undiagnosed or late diagnosed women.

Do you mind if I ask who in your family is already diagnosed with ASC and/or ADHD? Is it your sister's side of the family, her partner, or both?

Recognising autism at age two is perfectly possible but it will depend greatly on what the child's presenting differences are, and of course on what other environmental or medical factors could be influencing differences. (I get that you know this, and you've been up front that your sister's MH is not good and she needs support, so I'm not having a dig - absolutely none of us set out to do less than our absolute best as parents, and sometimes we have tough things to deal with.)

Can you list what differences you observe in your nephew and what makes you think these are autism related? You mentioned speech delay and motor, can you expand a bit?

It's worth looking up Cathie Long, an independent social worker who specialises in independent assessments for the court where autism in either the child or parent (or both) is suspected. She may not have capacity to take new clients as she is currently doing work around undiagnosed autistic mothers being accused of FII, but it's definitely worth reading up around her work and contacting her to see if she can advise.

I have a similar story, so I really relate.

I don't know how you were neglected but in this situation the neglect is seen as not engaging with the DC so that he isn't meeting his speech and motor milestones.

It could be both

Ah, just read that you work in MH, I may have been saying things you already know

Have you read the thread? You seem quite gleeful that 'so obviously there's a lot more to it!' 😔 My DSis lost someone very close to her and this made her depressed. Sorry if that's not the juicy story you were looking for.

You seek a diagnosis and implement inteventions for specific issues as they arise, keeping a record of work done. But the one thing they won't go on is word alone. Because, and don't take this personally, for every genuine case of delays being down to autism, social services will have had hundreds of claims of it being down to autism or some other 'not our fault' excuse.

For example, my son had language delays so I bought flash cards and interactive 'talking' toys for him. If social services had have raised concerns about that, thinking it was neglect, I could evidence through the worn out cards, the obviously used toys, and the hundreds of videos I took of him. They could look around the house and see PECS pictures on everything. They could easily see for themselves that this child's delays are not down to lack of engagement. And all of this was done prior to diagnosis because I was driving it.

Not a chance SS will change their stance on the basis of the mother’s sister telling them they’re wrong. So I get comfort from that, that this child’s situation will be properly and fully explored without weight being put against the OP’s view that it’s a very simple case of essentially them misunderstanding autism.

What you can do is support your sister, and support SS

There are few things that vary so some saying it takes years to get a diagnosis of autism or that you can't be diagnosed at 2 are not correct it may be what happens in their area.

From personal experience we got a diagnosis for one of our children at 2 and it only took a few months from referral to diagnosis. And I know many with the same experience in our area.

I also know many parents of children with additional needs do suffer with mental health problems. It's hard to process and support children with additional needs and everyone needs support. Most of us have never had a safeguarding referral ever despite being very open that we struggle.

Thank you for being so kind!

She does not have a diagnosis, but I do suspect. On my DSis side of the family, myself and my DS have an autism diagnosis and my DD is awaiting assessment. On the dad's side - he has ADHD as do a couple of other members of his family. His daughter also has ADHD and autism.

DN has been slow to meet milestones of sitting/crawling/walking. He can sit now, pretty much crawling but not walking. He is quite 'floppy' still. He has some vocabulary but single words mainly. He doesn't respond properly to back and fro talking yet. He can sit in his own little world concentrating on his toy, not bothering what others are doing. He doesn't join in with nursery rhymes and actions. Sensitive to noise. Just a few things off the top of my head. I believe they are autism related as although not identical there are plenty of similarities to my own DS who is autistic. His dad sees similarities with his elder autistic DD.

Thank you I will have a look at that.

Yes, it could be.

I think you need to step back OP and see that SW involvement isn't implying your sister is wilfully neglecting her child. They aren't blaming her etc they are focussed on whether the needs of her child are being fully met.

However, the severity of her mental health issues is quite likely to be impacting her child, particularly given she is a single parent so the other parent isn't resident. She might be doing her best and her child could still be neglected because she just hasn't been managing.

The best thing you can all do in this situation is engage with the SW, assume they are there to ensure everyone gets the help they need, and give your sister and her child as much support as possible, including the child's father upping his level of contact etc.

No, you were extremely helpful

The trouble is I'm worried this won't come soon enough. Autism diagnosis takes ages here. But she is implementing interventions for the 2 big issues already. We have loads of photos, his aids, worksheets, she is hoping to start a toddler class for speech soon too. And obviously all done prior to diagnosis.

Already doing that, and nope I've not told them they're wrong.

To be fair, most of you probably don't have a serious mental illness and have not been an inpatient. In those circumstances a referral is always made to Children's services.