Divorce and removing money from accounts

[Havingamoment247]

Hi.

I already know I’m going to be judged but give me a second to explain.

i’m a SAHM and my husband has moved out, taken nearly all our money (it was in his own account as he refused to get a joint account) and spent nearly £6000 (he told me he spent it on renting and furnishing his new place).

He works a well paid job and gets about £4000 a week. I get UC and have about £3000 to my name in total but obviously this is going to be eaten away over the next few months whilst I scramble to get a job and my house and legal stuff in order.

We also have a son who is in my care and I will need to get a solicitor because this is already an extremely messy divorce.

I need this money to stay with me. I know we’re in a marriage and 50% is his but actually he’s been financially abusing me for 2 years so they fact I have £3000 to my name is a miracle. It’s in an account in my name, am I able to remove the money? Will I be penalised later on in court?

I know people will say ‘what if the man did this, what would you say’ and I hear you, but I’m genuinely just trying to protect my son and me. We have literally nothing else to our name and I’m scared.

How old is your son?

He’s 1 years old

Sorry meant to reply here he’s one years old

It’s in an account in my name,

If you need it to live then use it.

Will I be penalised later on in court?

Unlikely from what you just posted, but we don't know the value of the entire marital assets either of you hold and also how dirty the divorce could/could not get.

Hes on £208k a year?! Wow, I doubt he'd even notice your 3k!

You can do what you want with your £3k. If he gets £4k a week he will without doubt be having to pay you more than child maintenance. Ring CMS today and get them to do an assessment. He’ll be on the maximum.

You’d be surprised about that £3k. Like I said, he’s had full financial control over me and even asked me for money when he moved out (even took the cash he had hidden in the house). This £3k is my lifeline at the moment snd to him I know it’ll be about making sure he gets his fair share

Have you submitted a claim for CMS?

But that’s the thing. I don’t need to spend £3k right now, just a few hundred over the next few weeks but I’ve been told from friends and family (we do not come from money if you can tell) that if I were to withdraw that in one lump sum it could look like I was trying to hide money myself (which I guess I am!)

we haven’t got much in the way of martial assets actually. A £400k house (I didn’t know he was on so much money until he left) and a small business that I have no idea about it’s worth or intake!

He’s started paying CM ‘unofficially’ this week and gives me around the same amount that CMS say I should get but that’s my worry that’ll he’ll stop paying randomly. I guess I should make it official but I’m just worried about my savings right now (maybe the wrong thing to be worried about)

As it an account in your name he can't freeze it.

Also as you need it to live on then live on it. CM is a contribution to your child's living costs and not for you to live on.

If you need to take out in one lump sum to move to your own bank account then do so as there is a paper trail of where it's gone. Just don't take it out in cash as that will ring alarm bells with the holding bank/building society.

At some point when you do the financials you are both suppose to disclose the asserts including savings you both hold in your own name.

CMS used to be capped at around £3k per week so £156k per year. If they earn more you could apply to the courts for a top up also

Get a solicitor. Depending on how long you've been married for you'll more than likely at least temporarily get more than 50% on his salary. A good solicitor will advise exactly what you can get.
Also start claiming CM asap. Should be almost like a decent salary if he earns that paye. Although obviously there's a capped % for cm after a certain amount.

I don't know if it matters to withdraw limo sun, but You could withdraw 50 here, 100 there, that would just look like you were spending it.

As a divorce lawyer I just want to say that this notion that you’ll get at least 50% of his income is nonsense and it’s very dangerous for this sort of “advice” to be peddled.

Aside from the other stuff, if you have stayed in the marital home and he has moved out, it's not unreasonable for him to have to spend a bit of money on renting and furnishing it. Criticising him for that makes you sound pretty unreasonable, in my view. If you didn't want him to spend a penny of the marital funds, where did you expect him to live?

I don’t really care if I sound unreasonable in your view. Furnishing and renting a new place is needed I understand but that wasn’t my question was it? You know minimal information about my situation and couldn’t assist with the question I actually asked? Why bother posting then.

But if your position is that he shouldn't have spent any money at all on moving out, you are going to sound so unreasonable that people are less likely to take you seriously even if your other concerns are perfectly fair. Expecting him to move out without spending any money doing so is not a reasonable expectation. If a man said that about his wife he'd be flamed on here, and rightly so.

@Havingamoment247
I think you might need to worry more about what he spent his earnings on. You have £400k in the house? That’s not much and not a very high mortgage for his earnings. So are you spending every other £ he earns? Do
you have a mortgage? I would see a good divorce solicitor immediately. One who understands higher earnings! I think
you need to know what his finances really look like!

To be fair from your tone in the original post it did sound like you had a problem with him spending that money.
£6k for furnishing and deposit etc isn’t that much at all.