Husband will not agree to divorce

[AshTreeandIvy]

The basic details are:
Been together for 30+ years but married since 2019
I have work pension + state pension = just under £2K per month
He has no income and does not get state pension until Oct 2023, it will only be around £400 per month as he’s never been much of a worker and has basically lived off me.
Our house is mortgage free and worth around £300K. He hasn’t paid anything toward it. We are tenants in common.
We have capital amounting to around £80K from inheritances on both sides.

I have supported him all the time I have known him. I know this has been ridiculous but I can’t change the past. He is a spendthrift and wastes a lot of money. I am 67 and he is 65.

I want a divorce and to sell the house and split the capital but he will not even talk about it. Walks away and acts as if I haven’t even spoken. He will not engage at all.

I paid for a one hour consultation with a solicitor but nothing was very clear. I think this was probably my fault as I didn’t know what I was talking about really.

I want to know if I will be able to divorce him without him engaging in the process and how I can force him to sell the house. If I move out does that affect my claim to it (I won’t want to be staying here as he can be prone to anger).

Basically I need to know where do I go from here and am I likely to have anything left at the end of it!

Thank you in advance for any replies.

OP. How are your finances currently managed? I am wondering what access he has to your money whereby he can spend it.
Perhaps you can separate things more, like you have done with the living arrangements?

Anyway, I’ve been a bit cheeky and booked 3 free initial consultations with 3 solicitors and have written a list of questions

This is why I don't do free initial interviews anymore.

I’m sorry. I know it’s not good but the first one I saw I paid for a full hour, she was late, her admin person was there the whole time asking her about work that she was doing and she didn’t really give me any advice at all. I can’t afford to keep doing that until I find someone decent. I’ve been up front about with all three.

We have separate Current Accounts. He doesn’t do online banking, and avoids responsibility, so my account is the main one with all income and Direct Debits and I transfer small amounts into his account as needed…he doesn’t keep track of spending though and just goes into overdraft so I have to either top it up or get charges all the time.

Apart from confiscating his Debit Card or paying constant Overdraft charges I don’t know what else to do. We’ve tried agreeing a set weekly amount and it always works well for a couple of weeks then he starts overspending again.

That should be one of your questions. I'm not clear myself but I believe once you have officially started divorce proceedings he is liable for his own debt. Consult your bank about that too.

Continue paying in a set amount but (after finding out if its true) be explicitly clear to him that if he goes over its his debt, not yours.

If he is serious about managing his expenditure, he can reduce his overdraft to something really small, or reduce it altogether, so payments are rejected?

@AshTreeandIvy
You really won’t get free or good advice for complicated questions in one hour. You need to look for respected family solicitors. Get a recommendation. Look for their experience.

Good for you op to take back control of your life and your happiness.

change is almost always difficult and can be painful. Go into this knowing that BUT once you’re out the other side, you’ll have peace and freedom. Best of luck.