When do courts listen to kids wishes?

[somanyquestions19]

Pretty much that really. How old do kids have to be in Uk for court to listen to their wishes with regard to parental contact/how often they have to see a parent?

It'll vary from instance to instance. Up here there's no hard and fast age, it's a matter of whether the child is judged to have the competence to understand the question and the consequences.

Presumably 8 is too young?

It's usually around 12/13 i thought.

This is decent advice from Stowe Family Law.

I had a support worker for my children to help them process their dads behaviour. She said if he took me to court they would listen to my then 8 year old and if enough evidence from the older ones was given to support him grant him his wishes.

Shield aiden how do you go about getting a support worker?

Sorry that was shieldmaiden! Damn predictive text lol

If cafcass or children's services complete a section 7 report then they should always report the wishes of the child. Obviously they may then advise that those wishes aren't adhered to for lots of different reasons, including the age of the child and their understanding of their situation. But they should always be reported and heard

Another option is to actually have legal representation for your child themselves if it is particularly contentious between yourself and ex.

I've tried Cafcass but they won't deal with me because we aren't involved with court.

If you are not yet in the court system some mediation services will talk to children and represent their wishes to parents as part of the mediation process.
Or you need to represent their wishes taking care that at 8 even if the child says they don't want any contact in the absence of serious abuse a court is likely to award some.

At this age with my DD she meet her dad in shopping centres for a few hours had lunch or coffee wandered round etc. gradually building up to whole days and then eventually overnights as this was the probable course that would happen as advised by my solicitor. ExH never actually bothered with court probably as he realised this what he would get anyway.

@somanyquestions19
Surely it’s now best to go to court. As far as I’m aware there is no method for DC to be legally heard if CAFCASS are not involved. I know mediators might talk to them but do you really think ex will agree to mediation? From what you say, I would be surprised. Cafcass complete the wishes and feelings part of the report for the court and this is the most use. I understand the older the child, the more likely the judge takes their views into account. They do have to be sure parents have not turned children against the other parent unfairly. However you will find courts consider the needs of the child: a good educational experience, friendships maintained and a stable home as far as possible are all
key considerations.

It scares me as not only is he a narcissistic police officer but work have also trained him in negotiating so he's an all round expert who knows exactly what to do and say and has access to legal advice.

This is hell! I honestly can't think of anything else and feel sick.

@somanyquestions19
You really do need your own legal advice. He won’t be trained in family law. It’s a specialist area and not standard police work. It’s rarely about implementing the “law” either. It’s about what’s best for DC and the judge won’t negotiate!

It is awful how the police recruit “wrong uns” isn’t it? The courts will listen to both parents and it doesn’t matter what he says if it not in DCs best interests. You cannot do anything much of your do not get legal advice snd go to court. You need a skilled advocate. You are then not up against him. Your advocate will be. Believe me, he won’t push a highly qualified female family barrister around.

@TizerorFizz you're right! I'm going to get onto it on Monday. He's dropping dd off at my house tomorrow night god help me as he will start again about pushing the school move.

Yes it's definitely not a job he should be doing as the authority also doesn't help with his personality.

What are your child's reasons for not wanting to spend time with her dad?

It’s not really about spending no time, it’s about dad not controlling the op or the child. Changing schools for no reason is disruptive. The op being badgered about it is unpleasant and disruptive. DD should not be encouraged to say she doesn’t want her dad but she could express a wish to stay with school friends and her school. She may well want to see her dad but his influence needs boundaries that are agreed in court. Not by bullying. I think the op has a decent case to get an agreement where she and DD live without being bullied. An 8 year old saying they don’t want to see dad often looks like coercion so is best avoided. A child that’s happy to see dad but live with mum and not change schools is reasonable. As DC get older Sunday evening to Friday morning is usual too but dad should then facilitate clubs and activities at weekends, eg parties and sport. So the OP needs to think of the future too.