Property and getting married

[Triotriotrio]

Hi all,

Some advice would be great. I'm getting married soon, but I own a house on my own with a £300k mortgage on it but £200k equity. DP agrees that this is my equity, but I realise that unless I do something it will become a marital asset.

So how do I protect my asset? He earns a lot less than me but contributes to our joint bank account to cover half of all bill except my mortgage. I'm not really thinking about divorce (although need to cover that base) but if I die I want my kids to get that £200k plus half of the rest of possible.

Thanks in advance.

The house will be the marital home so, if you divorce, it will go into the pot to be divided between you. However, provided certain conditions are met (full financial disclosure, for example), a properly drawn up pre-nuptial agreement will be followed by the courts unless it is clearly unfair in the circumstances.

Regarding what happens when you die, unless you transfer the house into joint ownership, it will remain solely yours and all of it will go into your estate. What happens to it will be governed by your will. What you do with it is up to you, although your husband will be able to make a claim if you don't make reasonable financial provision for him in your will. Note that any existing will is automatically revoked when you marry unless it was made "in contemplation of marriage".

Only guaranteed way to protect it is not to get married.

Get a deed of trust and it’s protected.

Do you have kids already OP, or not?

If it's a short marriage, you generally get to take out what you brought in, but divorce after a longer marriage, or where there are children, or a marriage after a long period of living together - not so much.

An older friend of mine (met her partner when they were both over 50, both had grownup kids) didn't get married for this reason. She sought legal advice on the subject, and the solicitor said,
"If you want to lose control over your assets - get married". So she didn't.

A deed of trust only makes sense if the OP intends to put the property into joint names. In divorce, a deed of trust would only be one of the factors considered by the court. It would not determine anything. So no, it wouldn't protect the OP.

If she puts the property in joint names and gets a deed of trust, that will determine how much of the property goes into her estate. However, if she keeps the property in her sole name, 100% of it will go into her estate.

See a solicitor. Write a will in contemplation of marriage, leavethe property to your children but give your future husband a life interest.

Don't get married, or move to a country with different laws that would protect you. Or you could still be a couple without getting married. You have too much to lose and the English family law is 200 years behind time. Avoid

Honestly? I wouldn't get married.

Interesting post and advice regarding marriage and property.

If this post had said the exact same thing with the man in this position I think the advice would be...

Why are you getting married ? Marriage is about sharing you life together but you sound like you want one foot in , one foot out and unwilling to share. If I were your fiancée I would run a mile. He is already considering divorce. ! Do not marry a man who will leave you homeless

Not saying any of the advice.is wrong but marriage is a both an emotional AND financial contract. Just considering the money is not the be all..

Honestly, don’t get married. I say this as a fool who did get married (a bloody short marriage!) and all the equity and my pension that I accumulated before I even met him are going to be treated as marital assets. Because he already gave alway all his assets in a divorce, I’m being treated at the financially stronger party, and I’ll have to compensate a man who earns over £100k (I most certainly do not!) because of children who were already provided for in his first divorce. Apparently it was fine for him to just keep his pension and rent then, but not when I had more equity to start with than he gave to his ex. My children lose out because of it.

Do not get married if you need to protect assets for your children.

Marriage isn’t about sharing a life together. It’s a contract that will transfer your assets to the financially weaker party. And the definition for that might be utterly bloody bizarre (as in my case).

You can spend your lives together and all the stuff that matters without entering into a contract that disadvantages you and your children.

For clarity, marriage does not transfer all your assets to the financially weaker party. I can't comment on your case as I don't have enough information, but in the vast majority of cases any transfer on divorce is simply to make sure that both party's reasonable needs are met. There is rarely enough money to go beyond that.

As per my previous comments, a pre-nuptial (or post-nuptial) agreement can be agreed to protect the stronger party. Provided certain conditions are met, it will be upheld by the courts provided it is not clearly unfair in the circumstances, e.g. it fails to provide for any children of the marriage.

Well yes. Except that I seem to be compensating a man who already gave his first wife pretty much everything to meet the needs of their children, on the basis that he ‘needs’ the assets I had before I met him to house them (even though he didn’t ‘need’ to do more than rent in 2019).

I am distinctly unimpressed with English divorce law frankly. I have learned the hard way that no woman with assets of her own (and children to provide for) should marry a man who gave everything away in his first divorce. I’ve had legal advice, and frankly the law is an ass.

Well yes, if your children spend time with each parent then each needs a home for them to stay in.

He earns over £100k. He can fucking rent a home for them.

As was decided about his first divorce. He didn’t need to buy a house then. So why now?

He can, but you knew when you married him that you’d be sharing your assets to some extent so there’s no need to now be upset about it.

You share what you had before and now each of you is free to earn and spend individually.

i disagree fundamentally. The law is unfair. And I didn’t think he was going to change overnight on signing a contract, did I?

Stupid me.

i can’t believe anyone thinks I should hear more financial responsibility for my stepchildren than their father.

In any case, my point is no woman with assets should risk them by marrying.

I add that this man financially abused me on maternity leave. Wouldn’t even share what he had with me during the marriage. But apparently can benefit from what I had before I met him.

sure, share what you have from the relationship. But the whole system will screw you over and give the proceeds of your hard work and saving a decade or more before you met someone with them even if they financially abuse you. It appears the law wants to continue what he started.

A cautionary tale to anyone considering risking their assets.

Definitely don't get married! Why would you?

Sounds like you might want to make your own thread on this situation to vent /talk about your experience

Trailpfabandonedplanners very similar situation. Married in my home country where the laws are fairer to women who are independent and work, he tricked me to move to the UK and now will probably have to give him half of the house my parents bought me whilst he was bankrolling his whole extended family in Asia. Once divorce is completed and he will have squeezed my pocket dry he will fix off to Asia and forget about the kids and I will be stuck here until they are 18 to pay his debts. English law is as bad as American abortion law, so retrograde and against honest people and against the interest of children. So wish I took legal advice before moving to the UK. Really don't wish for anyone to be in a similar position and lose what they and their family work hard for through marriage.

My relative is in almost the same situation as your future husband. His late wife tried to leave the bulk (80%) of her property to her DDs and left her husband in a tiny flat. Husband challenging the will and expected to get a life interest. So I suggest you do all the pre nuptial agreement thing, but write a will that is fair to everyone. Eg. Sell the marital home if it's large, divide some of the equity with the DC and buy somewhere smaller but not tiny, for your husband to have a reasonable home with a life interest for the DC. Either way include him and get really good legal advice, saves money in the long run.