Hello,
I would like to separate from my partner, we have 3 yo twins, and since I was pregnant he has not been able to get his head around it. He does not put the kids interests above his, plus he is very disrespectful towards me (everyday he would call me lazy, stupid).
When the kids were 1 yo, and I was at work, ( he was working from home, with his mom at home), he texted me telling me that i should go back home to take care of the kids, or he would put my clothes in suitcases in the driveway. At this point, I called National Domestic Abuse, and they basically told me to run away. I felt very weak at that time, and I did not go. I stayed with him. I did not feel capable of escaping with my 2 1 year old twins on my own, I am an immigrant and I do not have my family nor friends around (plus it was around the first lockdown when the UK, and other countries were shut). I also felt guilty for some time about taking my children from a family and raise them as a single mother, thinking that I would not be able to give them many luxuries.
My partner has never hit me, but other examples of his abuse are:
When I was working in London, I had a long commute (3 hours in total), and I couldn't stay enough hours at my job, so I wanted to hire a nanny to help him with the nursery run (we usually went the 2 of us, but he has always worked from home, me no). He told me that I was a bad mother, unable to take care of my children, and that he was going to call Social Services so they could take my kids from me.
He also threatens me with not signing the papers for my children to get my Spanish nationality.
He tells me daily that i should leave his house ( he owns the house, with a mortgage. We moved in together, and I pay him £250 to his individual account every month to cover bills, and "maintenance". On top of that, each of us pay £1200 into a common account to pay nursery, food, fuel, car insurance, etc. He still tells me that he pays for everything and I am a leech, is this normal?)
I want to find a good lawyer in my area that is able to handle this type of domestic abuse, I am not even sure if the courts would consider these examples serious enough to avoid my partner to get 50/50. He will not be able to take care of them as well as me. He is living alone, he also does not have family nor friends around, and he is very selfish and disconnected from the kids. His way of taking care of them is to switch on the TV so he can continue browsing his phone. I have a plan, my parents have offered to spend long periods of time here in UK, so I would be able to be the resident parent, with occasional access from my partner. Does anyone has any insights about this?
Many thanks.