Separation

[stressedsloth]

Asked husband to leave. We've given it a go for another 4 years since it went downhill. At first he was amicable now he's turning.

Planning on buying him out of the house. 2 young children will stay with me.

Anyone know what % he is entitled to of the equity?

People keep saying 33% cos I've got the kids but can't find anything to say that.

Getting no where with legal aid or free financial advice.

Got a mortgage appt on Monday but don't know how much I need to pay him!!

No-one can answer that question on the limited information you've given. The people saying 33% are guessing.

Sorry that you are separating. It's a stressful life experience with lots of emotions. Just keep calm, seek advice and speak to people and you will be fine. You will enter a new chapter in your life with unknown. The seperation profess is a marathon not a sprint.

Working things out between yourselves will save you both tens of thousands of pounds and emotional stress from 12-24 months of legal proceedings.

There are two central things to resolve:

1. How the children will spend time with both parents. Are they school aged?
2. Division of assets.
3. Maintenance e.g spousal and/or child.

I would focus on child arrangements first. Ask him how he would like to spend time with the children, will he live locally and have capacity for nursery/school runs.

Thank you for your kind advice.
We have been amicable for the past two months but his is mentally unstable so it's come with his ups and downs.
Things changed a couple of weeks ago and his nasty side is back so I've made a mortgage appt and a solicitor appt for myself on Monday.

I asked him to leave 2 months ago and we agreed to him staying at home until he finds somewhere to live. He has always said he'll give me and the kids the house and I've always believed him and still do but I don't trust his family or if he meets someone else so I want to be prepared for how much this is going to cost me. He won't make me sell the house as he knows I can't afford anything else so we'd have nowhere to go. I imagine I'm going to have to buy him out which I was hoping I wouldn't have to do until the kids are older.

We have already discussed childcare split between us. He already picks up from school Tues-Thurs so that will continue and he'll bring them back after dinner and one night each weekend.
If this doesn't stick then I'll need more money from him to pay for after school clubs.

My eldest son is very close and clingy with him mainly because of my husbands BPD it's made our son crave his attention.
I'm hoping the above routine sticks as that won't be much different than how often he sees them now.
My husband suffers with depression and spends a lot of time in bed or asleep on the sofa.

Hopefully this all works out for the best.