Emotions in court

[BrokenByThis]

I was in family court recently, on teams.
The just recommended that she wants to have the next court date in person so she can read body language.

I am aware that I sit down and don't move a muscle. I show no expression at all unless I am talking and then I can't help it, it shows as I speak. But normally it's my barrister speaking on my behalf and so I don't show anything. I think it might be considered strange for a female who a court my expect to shed a tear with the domestic abuse shit Ive gone through.

My male ex is tutting, growing, sighing, folding arms, shrugging, all manner of expressions, constantly.

I am a little afraid that my lack of emotion will make a judge think I feel nothing therefore nothing happened. Is that likely to happen? I wondered if they may recognise it as a coping strategy rather than a sign I might en sort of psychopath!
Even if it is taken this way, I am not one to pretend so couldn't fake emotions. But I could allow myself to frown or shake my head at the right moments, if I had to.

Question is, do I have to?

So from my experience it is recommended that you stay quiet, don't gesture, speak tut etc unless you are on the stand and then you should keep it simple and to the point and only answer the question that has been asked. You look at the judge not the baraster or other party. Judges don't like dramatic reactions, especially when it could distract the witness.

My dad used to be a family court JP who regularly sat with district and circuit judges in complexes cases.
They see the huffing and puffing as trying to intimidate, deflect and distract regardless of who it is. The calm person who sits quietly is seen as the one who is trying to engage and work with the court.
He once told me a story of circuit judge who had held a man overnight for contempt for too much huffing, puffing and interjecting despite being asked to stop. He was brought before the judge the next day and asked to apologise to get released.

In my experience no one is expecting or wanting you to cry. You'll give away a lot more of your emotions than you realise and it's easier for the judge to read situations in person. Don't force yourself to do things you wouldn't usually, it'll feel unnatural and come across fake. Just be yourself.

The judge won't be impressed by his show. Be yourself. If that is being quiet as you describe, that absolutely fine. I suspect she wants to see his body language in the flesh.

It's likely they're looking more at him than you.

I cried in family court when I had to self rep. The mysogynist of a judge made me explain myself to the court. My ex sat laughing at me with his smirking barrister.

Although the usual judge was good so it was bad luck there was a stand in.

I'd say your default is better.

Thank you so much for this. It's really helped. It hadn't occurred to me the judge might have wanted to observe HIM. As always I assumed I was the one at fault here, especially as he has always told me I am abnormal for not showing my emotions overtly.