Suicide and Domestic Abuse

[WorriedAuntie43]

Hi. Looking for some advice, if anyone is able to help.

My niece took her own life after years of being domestically abused (mentally, emotionally and physically) at the hands of her ex. She did not report this to the police during her life time, due to fear. Our family are only finding out the severity of the abuse now she is gone.
Is there anything that can be done laterally? It makes me feel sick to my stomach that her ex has gotten away with this and may well do it to someone else in the future. He has a history of this behaviour, we now know (some of which the police are aware of). He has full custody of their three young boys now too.

Any advice for us is much appreciated.

For the sake of the boys if you can remain in their lives and keep their mothers memory alive and keep an eye on them that would be the best outcome. If you go in all guns ablazing with accusations against their father then they'll be lost to your side of the family, at the very least until they're adults. I know you posted on legal but I don't think it can be resolved through legal.means.

Nothing you can do sadly. Police won’t touch it as it will set a precedent and there are an awful lot of suicides that could be considered at least manslaughter during and post relationship.

I would imagine it would be almost impossible to prove beyond reasonable doubt that the abuse caused the suicide which is why so many suicides don’t end in any kind of conviction.

I agree with RedHelen any actions against dad will go no where and could be used in a manipulative way against maternal family.

He won’t let us see the boys even though we were a big part of their lives before.
We tried to keep things amicable but he is awful. We’ve never confronted him about his behaviour, we know better sadly.

I suppose the only way is to apply to court for your parents to apply "grandparents rights" but this is difficult and contact would be minimal.

So tragic I really feel for you.

Hopefully in time the boys will seek your family out to learn more about their mum.

Thanks for your reply. I regret not confronting him when my niece was alive, maybe things would’ve been different. It’s an awful situation.

Hindsight is 20/20 when you were in that position you had no idea what was going to happen so don't be too hard on yourself. I can't imagine any human alive has made a decision which they haven't regrated with the benefit of hindsight.

Sometimes the only option available is to make a wonderful place for an estranged family member to come into a future point and not to let the behaviours of toxic people steal your own happiness.

My condolences WorriedAuntie43 and I wish your family better times ahead.