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Legal matters

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Original poster

How likely is it that mum will get money out of dad?

58 replies

TheInheritenceIsWhose · 12/04/2022 11:12

Parents divorced when I was a teen, I’m now in my 30s so been split for 15years+.

Dad has just inherited a substantial amount, enough to retire.

My mum thinks she can go after some of it.

What I know of their divorce:

I am aware that the reason for the split was because my mum thought my dad didn’t earn enough money – he worked full time and we never went without; had food and clothes and school trips and a few holidays and if I ever wanted to go to the cinema or bowling with a friend/group of friends I could (admittedly sometimes they’d use nectar or clubcard points to get it but as a parent myself now I can understand why!)
No financial/consent order as they both walked away with a car and we lived in rented homes, they both ended up with a similar size place, mum kept our pets but dad then got his own
Dad paid maintenance to mum until my brother reached 19, I am older but dad never reduced the amount until my brother reached 18 even when I went off to uni and even then slowly reduced it by an amount each month until he paid nothing the month my brother turned 19 – he also paid well over what was recommended by the service used for child maintenance at the time and by well over I mean he paid £300-400 more than recommended by them
He also paid for my brother to get his motorbike license and me to get my car driving license and bought us a bike and car respectively and with insurance with no hint of asking for help from my mum
My dad was the sole benefactor of one will, he was one of 8 from another (first one was his grandmother who passed it solely to him for some reason, second was his parents who split it between their children and grandchildren)

Mum thinks she’s going to get half if not more of what dad inherited as if they were still married, she’d be benefitting.

She’s also upset that my dads sharing money with me and my brother - he’s paying for me to take my DC on a dream holiday that I’d never be able to afford by myself as I’m a single parent, he’s buying my brother a piece of equipment to do his job.

Mum is insisting I will need to cancel my holiday as that money will be hers.

So what are the chances she’ll get any? She’s apparently found a no win no fee lawyer to help her.

I’m firmly neutral in that if mums entitled to some money she should get some but I also think she’s just jealous and should leave the money alone.

OP posts:

Makeitsoso · 12/04/2022 11:15

I wouldn’t have thought so. But I’m not a lawyer. I’d hope someone will come along soon to say she isn’t! Otherwise you’re tied to your spouse indefinitely even post divorce when assets were fairly divided.

NorthSouthcatlady · 12/04/2022 11:18

I don’t know the details of their divorce so l couldn’t say did certain. But l think it’s fairly unlikely. Amused by your mum saying about you cancelling your holiday. Is she always so entitled?

Brightrainbow · 12/04/2022 11:19

I can’t see how she’d get a penny unless your dad gave her some out of the goodness of his heart
Surely (I could be wrong) that once the divorce went through that was the end of it
Otherwise every time one side came into money (no matter how large or small) the other side could go after it and it would never end
If they where legally still married it could go into the pot but if not then that’s the end of that
Your mums being very greedy

Original poster

TheInheritenceIsWhose · 12/04/2022 11:19

@NorthSouthcatlady

@NorthSouthcatlady Yes she is! She gets annoyed if my Ex-PIL or my dad take my DC anywhere, sulks saying she wanted to take DC there.

OP posts:

jampim · 12/04/2022 11:19

If they've been divorced 15 years then she doesn't have a hope in hell of getting anything out of him.

She doesn't sound like a very nice person. This is outrageously grabby of her.

titchy · 12/04/2022 11:20

That's one of the reasons a financial order is recommended....

That said, and IANAL, but presumably she's been self sufficient for the last 15 years, and has no dependents so doesn't need a share. She may be entitled to a part of it, but it could be one of those cases where the only winners are the solicitors.

Original poster

TheInheritenceIsWhose · 12/04/2022 11:21

@Brightrainbow

I can’t see how she’d get a penny unless your dad gave her some out of the goodness of his heart Surely (I could be wrong) that once the divorce went through that was the end of it Otherwise every time one side came into money (no matter how large or small) the other side could go after it and it would never end If they where legally still married it could go into the pot but if not then that’s the end of that Your mums being very greedy

@Brightrainbow They're definitely divorced, I have seen the decree that ends the marriage officially (Not sure if it's the nisi or absolute).

OP posts:

Original poster

TheInheritenceIsWhose · 12/04/2022 11:23

@titchy

That's one of the reasons a financial order is recommended....

@titchy No financial order. Mums worked part time and relied on state benefits then a few years ago just quit work and said she was retiring, doesn't claim anything now (I've posted about her before).

My dad has worked part time but can now properly retire, won't be needing to claim the state pension even in 10 years when he's entitled to it.

OP posts:

IncompleteSenten · 12/04/2022 11:26

Hopefully she will get nowhere but you need to tell your dad what she's planning to try.

And don't give her any money. Your dad should absolutely not in case that can somehow be used against him. Don't cancel your holiday and really think about how much you want her in your life!

Soozikinzii · 12/04/2022 11:26

I also hope that she definitely isn't. I don't know any more about the situation- I just hope she isn't!

OnceUponAThread · 12/04/2022 11:27

If they didn't get a clean break order, she could be entitled to a share of it. Morally, I think it's awful, but legally there is precedent. E.g. as explained here: www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-jan-apr-2016/clean-break-orders-explained/

That's what you need to know, whether there was a clean break (it sounds like there wasn't).

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 12/04/2022 11:27

Are you in the UK or the US? As advice might be different.
Just asking as you've used the American spelling for licence.

Thestagshead · 12/04/2022 11:28

Even if married inheritance is excluded. She has no chance. And what a grabby awful woman to consider it.

HollowTalk · 12/04/2022 11:28

Of course she's not entitled to anything! She's not going to find a no win no fee lawyer who'll represent her, either. If your dad had remarried, would she still think she was entitled to it? Or if she was remarried?

She's just day dreaming. As for thinking she should get more than half... words fail me!

Thestagshead · 12/04/2022 11:29

@OnceUponAThread

That's what you need to know, whether there was a clean break (it sounds like there wasn't).

It’s different for inheritance.

Original poster

TheInheritenceIsWhose · 12/04/2022 11:30

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish

Are you in the UK or the US? As advice might be different. Just asking as you've used the American spelling for licence.

@BeforeGodAndAllTheFish Sorry I'm not the best at spelling, I am in England

OP posts:

Thestagshead · 12/04/2022 11:32

Op if you want to help her and personally I’d not, but if she’s genuinely found a no win no fee lawyer then she needs to read the contract carefully as some of them do carry a cost in the event of loss, they differentiate the fees, so the client is liable.

But if she’s explained this is inheritance then the law is clear, she’s entitled to nothing. Don’t cancel your holiday.

FairyCakeWings · 12/04/2022 11:32

She has no chance. This is a horrible situation for you to be in, it must be awful to see your mum behaving in this way, especially when it comes to a fabulous holiday for you and your children.

Try not to engage with her about it and let her come to her own realisation that she’s owed nothing.

OnceUponAThread · 12/04/2022 11:33

@Thestagshead it absolutely isn't, unfortunately.

There is case law where people have claimed successfully for lottery wins, business successes (where the business didn't even exist at the time of divorce and even inheritance).

This is the reason that clean break orders are so important even if both parties are low income / equal at the time.

Lots of lawyers specifically name future inheritance windfalls as things that can be claimed. There are lots of examples but here is one: samuelphillips.co.uk/blog/whats-happens-if-i-did-not-get-a-clean-break-order-when-i-divorced/

converseandjeans · 12/04/2022 11:35

No advice but she sounds really cheeky expecting money from someone she divorced 15 years ago.

She could have worked & earned her own money.

It's shocking she wants you to give up your holiday with the children! She sounds jealous.

Thestagshead · 12/04/2022 11:35

www.divorce.co.uk/your-finances/inheritance

It absolutely is excluded at this stage it’s usually even excluded at rhe point of divorce.

She has absolutely no chance at all

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 12/04/2022 11:36

@TheInheritenceIsWhose

Sorry! It wasnt a dig at your spelling! Just meant u wasnt sure if you were in the US. My phone is set to US english for autocorrect as I have to email the US a lot at the moment for work so I use American words on here all the time and get told off for it too.

OnceUponAThread · 12/04/2022 11:43

@Thestagshead it is possible to exclude at the point of divorce, but they didn't have a financial order. So it is now possible for her to make a claim. Here is (yet another) lawyer:

"The only way to sever the financial ties between you is to get a clean break order from the court.
If you fail to do so, your ex-spouse could legitimately request a share of any inheritance, business success or lottery winnings you come into."
garner-hancock.co.uk/blog/the-importance-of-a-clean-break-order-in-divorce/

Here is another good legal source. thursfields.co.uk/what-is-a-clean-break-order-and-why-do-i-need-one/

Legally, she can pursue a claim, and she has found a lawyer that is willing to do so on a no-win, no-fee basis.

Whether or not she is successful is another matter. But there is plenty of (quite shocking) case law that is cause for concern.

Even if she's unsuccessful it could be expensive to defend for your dad and deplete the pot.

Thestagshead · 12/04/2022 11:53

For goodness sake, no decent lawyer will take this on. You’re posting like you think she has a chance and he should hand it over in stead of defending it.

It’s ludicrous. She’s no chance at all. None. Nada.

DomPom47 · 12/04/2022 11:59

She’s not entitled to anything but is definitely very entitled in her attitude. To ask your own daughter to cancel a dream holiday with her grandkids because that’s her money from a divorce 15 years ago is appalling. From a financial responsibility point of view your father did well providing for you and your brother and I hope he enjoys his inheritance and retirement. If I were you and he asked me whether he should gift some to your mum I would say absolutely not,

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