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Legal matters

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Husband has started divorce, should I proceed with complaint ?

5 replies

Delilahsflowers · 11/04/2022 13:48

Hi lovely ladies,

I’m really struggling to know what to do.

My husband of many years has filed for divorce this morning.

He moved out 3 months ago leaving me with my children after planning to be with his girlfriend.

In 2020, he hit me during lockdown and I had extensive bruising down my right arm. I did file a complaint a few months back with the police as he was quite aggressive with me but haven’t actioned it further. I didn’t want to have him charged as he apologised after this row plus I didn’t want any social services involvement and wanted to keep my family together.

However, now he has moved out, I find myself in a very difficult, vulnerable position. I have been a stay at home mum for 18 years, I have no assets or family support. I do work now, but only started a few months ago- just 2 months before he left. My wage is low.

My question is; should I go ahead and apply to have him charged with the assault from 2020 and apply for legal aid? Is it worth it? The police told me it was ABH as I had a large haematoma ( spelling?) and black bruising.

Would it be worth doing now ? He’s left so doesn’t live here and would social services still want to see me? My children are 15-18.

I have no money and cannot afford a solicitor otherwise. I’m still reluctant to do it, it seems so wrong after all these years but my husband has hurt me in so many ways; he cheated with prostitutes , gave me an STI, his £60k of debt from me and had planned to leave to be with a woman he met in 2019. He brought her down from London and helped get her a job. He’s taken the family car too so I’m trapped in my area which is semi rural.

I’m 50 and facing a real struggle and poverty now plus I need major surgery.

Any advice would be really helpful as legally I’m not sure what else to do. It looks like tit for tat really and I’m only having him charged to get the money.

He says I won’t get anywhere with it.

Thank you 🙏

OP posts:
RestingPandaFace · 11/04/2022 13:54

Only you can make the decision but some things to consider…

You will send him a clear unequivocal message that you won’t tolerate any more from him.

You will potentially be entitled to legal aid for any family court proceedings if you can prove DV.

Even if social services get involved he has left the family home and you can show that you’ve taken it seriously and are protecting your children from witnessing any further abuse.

What are the downsides?
It could be stressful - especially if it goes to court.

He doesn’t want you to, and is trying to talk you out of it - frankly he should have thought about that before laying hands on you.

AnneLovesGilbert · 11/04/2022 13:58

Go for it. Sorry he’s such a total shit. Do what you can to protect yourself as much as possible.

drpet49 · 11/04/2022 14:01

Why didn’t you press charges when it happened? What do you hope to achieve by pressing charges now?

Delilahsflowers · 11/04/2022 14:20

Ok thank you everyone. I’ll have a think. I didn’t press charges at the time due to not wanting social services or police involvement.

I’ll leave the tread now. Thanks again for your help.

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 11/04/2022 15:16

Whether he is charged is up to the CPS and the police. It is not your decision.

You can see if the police will reopen the case. However, you don't necessarily need him to be charged in order to get legal aid. The evidence required to get legal aid is set out in this document.

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