DESPERATELY need help with American law and child maintenance

[Legalnightmare]

Dc father was abusive, not allowed allowed contact, you can imagine the type of person he is. It came to my attention a while back that CMS had been miscalculating his payments so I had them tell look at it and yes he owes me a significant amount, he kept refusing and asking for reconsideration etc etc . He THEN tells me he is moving to America (New York) end of last year. Whilst I have no proof he has gone CMS are saying as of January this year nothing has gone through hmrc therefore he owes me nothing and that yes he has moved to America. He has stopped paying. He still has quite a few legal years left of paying maintenance as youngest is a tween. I have had a couple of conversations with solicitors here and none of them can help as it isn’t in their remit, America law. All I have been told is I have to apply to the English court for a child maintenance order and once that has gone through THEN I have to apply to the American law but no one will help me with the process. To be fair I can’t afford a solicitor but I need help as I don’t know what I’m doing. What I’m worried about is forking out the money to go to court but as there is no forwarding details for him anywhere the courts won’t find him so he will get away with this and I will pay out court fees for nothing? Can anyone advise?

Also I have no forwarding details of him other than his name and date of birth so how will the court in England give me a child maintenance order without his details??

Bumping for help

Look at this www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-if-one-parent-lives-abroad/other-partner-lives-abroad

Save yourself the heartache and possibly cost and accept he's a deadbeat and leave it.

@RedHelenB

Save yourself the heartache and possibly cost and accept he's a deadbeat and leave it.

No cost associated with filling in the form linked to my post above. Potentially a massive cost in not collecting maintenance due.

@Collaborate it does cost because I have to apply to UK court first for a child maintenance order. That’s around £500. THEN I have to apply to the American court… MORE costs… there isn’t anything that is free and there is no phone number for the REMO dept in London and they don’t rely to my emails. What do you mean about there being potential cost of not collecting maintenance?

@RedHelenB believe me, if I could afford to live as a single parent bringing up disabled kids on my own I would drop it but I need the money

1. If you are acting for yourself the court fee for apply ing for an order in E&W is £275, not £500.

1. You do not need to have an existing order to use REMO - taken from para 4.2 of this: researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/CBP-7775/CBP-7775.pdf

UK residents can apply to enforce or change an existing maintenance order or make a new maintenance order against a person resident in another country.

@Collaborate what is E&W? England and Wales?

I had a free 30 min with a solicitor and they said I had to apply to UK court first before I go to America.

This is an extract from that link:
The CMS must cancel a child maintenance calculation if the Non-Resident Parent, Person with Care or Qualifying Child is deemed to longer be habitually resident in the UK.13 If this happens, the courts may make, vary or revive a maintenance order. A maintenance order is when the person with the higher income is told by a court to make regular maintenance payments to help with the other person’s living costs. If an application is made within six months of a person becoming no longer “habitually resident”, the order may begin from the date maintenance was ended.14
An individual considering legal action abroad should seek legal advice from a solicitor in that country. The UK Government maintains a list of lawyers abroad.
If they agree, individuals can also decide to make a child maintenance arrangement themselves, if one or both parents live abroad.

So I read that as UK first before I can go through Remo? I don’t want to fork out/start a process and then be told iv missed a bit? What happens when I have no forwarding details for him though? Literally nothing but his name and date of birth? I do actually know who he works for which is my only saving grace….

It is an entirely free process. I haven’t the time to debate it with you.

@Collaborate I have asked for anyone with American law experience regarding child maintenance and have relayed what a solicitor squeezed into a short 30 minute conversation…. I’m not looking for a ‘debate’ with anyone so I don’t understand your attitude toward me relaying what a solicitor in England has said…

[quote Legalnightmare]@Collaborate it does cost because I have to apply to UK court first for a child maintenance order. That’s around £500. THEN I have to apply to the American court… MORE costs… there isn’t anything that is free and there is no phone number for the REMO dept in London and they don’t rely to my emails. What do you mean about there being potential cost of not collecting maintenance?

@RedHelenB believe me, if I could afford to live as a single parent bringing up disabled kids on my own I would drop it but I need the money[/quote]
You totally should get the money, you need it. Given the fact you've had nothing so far and he's left the country Is almost be prepared to get my house on you not getting any in the future, and you getting more and more frustrated as you try to pursue it.

Should say I'd almost be prepared to bet my house

@RedHelenB I have been told slot of conflicting things. One monitor I’m told America are much stricter than uk with maintenance and I will get it sorted and others then say no way you won’t see a penny…

[quote Legalnightmare]@RedHelenB I have been told slot of conflicting things. One monitor I’m told America are much stricter than uk with maintenance and I will get it sorted and others then say no way you won’t see a penny…[/quote]
Maybe set yourself a time and money limit. I'm prepared to spend x amount of money and spend y amount of time. I've known too many parents ( mainly mothers) who have chased for maintenance for years and never received a penny and this has been detrrmental to their health and wellbeing. But everyone has to make their own decisions based on their circumstances. Do you think he'll stay in America for a long period of time?

@RedHelenB that’s the thing, I could do that but no one can give me set advice… step 1 x amount of £ then step 2 at approx x amount blah blah then I could do that? No one can help me. One solicitor who did the divorce said he would help me but he had no experience with American law (fair enough) and that he would have to ‘do some research’ and I’m not sure if that’s too much of a gambled pay a solicitor who doesn’t know what he’s doing.

I don’t know how long he be out there…. He has family here. He has threatened in the past to move to America so he doesn’t have to ‘pay me’.

[quote Legalnightmare]@RedHelenB that’s the thing, I could do that but no one can give me set advice… step 1 x amount of £ then step 2 at approx x amount blah blah then I could do that? No one can help me. One solicitor who did the divorce said he would help me but he had no experience with American law (fair enough) and that he would have to ‘do some research’ and I’m not sure if that’s too much of a gambled pay a solicitor who doesn’t know what he’s doing.

I don’t know how long he be out there…. He has family here. He has threatened in the past to move to America so he doesn’t have to ‘pay me’.[/quote]
And if they do try to make him pay in America presumably he'll come back to England and start giving the CMS the runaround again?

I live in America and have a friend who had to chase her husband for child maintenance. Obviously, the first thing you need to do is find out where he's living, because the rules will be different depending on the state. If he has family there, it's likely he's in that state - you can't just roll up and say that you want to live there! If he doesn't have dual citizenship, he can only stay for 90 days anyway and he can't work (unless he has another type of visa, and that's unlikely, the pandemic has really slowed down applications)?

The US is very strict about child maintenance. Employers will receive a letter saying what the employee has to pay and it can lose people their jobs in some cases (that's why my friend's deadbeat ex paid up, he couldn't take the embarrassment of a letter arriving).

So don't give up. Start by trying to figure out where he is and then look up the laws in that state. There may be charities in that state that will help you out for free.

Another thought. What about calling the American embassy in London and asking them for suggestions on whom to contact? Americans don't like deadbeat parents and they won't be impressed with the idea that someone has gone to their country to avoid child maintenance.
Worth a try - 020 7499 9000.

@Cameleongirl thank you! Sorry I meant he has family in the UK not in America. He is in New York, that is all I know. He has no family there… unless his (now) wife is American possibly but I have no idea? I have no contact with the family at all as he was abusive and they stood by him so I can’t ask any of them for help as they aren’t interested.

@Cameleongirl I rang them and they just said go on their website to find a solicitor who deals with American law….

Oh dear, I'm sorry OP. I'm not sure what else to suggest.

That’s ok @Cameleongirl I appreciate you trying! With your friend, I take it it took quite a while?