Is it worth doing a C79 to enforce child arrangement

[Weewilliewinkie123]

Ex took me to court over access.
We have an interim order, which is nothing like my ex wanted and which has led to a whole can of worms being opened for him with CAFCASS so he is not happy.

We are awaiting a second court hearing, where I assume the CAFCASS suggestions will be taken on board.

Since the interim order in Dec I have tried to be agreeable, I’ve agreed to extra days and not been difficult over things, but he is persistently difficult over the return times.

Ex refuses every single visit to bring the children home on time. He is late by 30 mins up to two hours on one occasion, and this is every single time he has them.

He doesn’t let me know and he refuses to read or reply when I message asking him to bring the children back.

Until things are resolved at court he does not have overnights, however he has started trying to manipulate the youngest into staying overnight, telling her it is her choice, not mine or the courts. I’m aware this is not correct, but I am getting quite concerned that he will push that boundary too.

I’m aware he is breaching the order, but I am also aware that the court expects me to be somewhat agreeable over times however this isn’t occasionally, it’s every visit without fail and it’s starting to niggle me.

He took me to court and he didn’t get what he wanted, so he feels he can just do as he wants. If however the order had been what he wanted then he would be holding me to it to the letter.

Currently he is an hour late, with no discussion and refusing to read or reply to me.

Sorry, pressed too soon!!

My question was, would it be frowned upon to try to enforce this order? It would I do better to continue to diarise this and bring it up at the next hearing?

I don’t want to end up being told I am being too harsh by the Court, but on the same token he is just ignoring the order!!

I believe I would need a C79 but I don’t know if it would actually lead to any thing of any use happening?

he has started trying to manipulate the youngest into staying overnight, telling her it is her choice, not mine or the courts.
How old is she? Does she want to stay with him overnight?

She is 6.
No she doesn’t, however he allows her to do what she wants, then starts “if you stay we can do this all evening”

The point is we had a Section 7 Cafcass report, and we have an interim order that states they are with him between x and z times, so it’s not really up to any of the children to have to decide

I am not sure if it is a consent order or not? We went to court and it was agreed mainly between myself and the judge, whilst we waited for CAFCASS decisions etc.
Can I enforce a Consent order?

I suspect what you have is a "recital" you can't enforce a recital. You will see it listed as such in the order.

I wouldn't bother trying to enforce it anyway at this as it will make it look like you are trying to reduce the time the children spend with their dad. If your ex wants to he could use it to paint you in a negative light.

The simple truth is that like many of us we chose the wrong partner but now we are locked in co-parenting relationships with people who are never going to be model co-parents.

You will need to pick your battles. I suggest this isn't the hill to die on.

It doesn’t sound like a recital to me. It sounds like a clear setting out of times in an interim order. Do you have a hearing date for your next hearing?

I don’t think it is a recital either (although I’ve never seen one) it states that until the issues can be resolved (eg who they live with etc) that ex is to have x access on x day, that they reside with me and that he undertakes not to do x (sorry to be vague) and that we have agreed this.

It also said CAFCASS were to do a report (which they have done and they uphold the current access arraignment)

However, it doesn’t say anything about it being breached, which is why I’m not sure where I am with it.

I have no date for the next hearing, it’s been 3/4 months since the first hearing and they said they were pretty booked until April, so with Covid issues I expect it will be another couple of months.

It’s driving me pretty mad. I know it seems petty, but if he had got what he wanted we would be upholding this to the LETTER, but because, at the moment, it’s nothing like he wanted and is going to lay his behaviour out in black and white he has decided he will just make the times up for himself

Yes. You are probably right.
It drives me mad. I need to find a way to let it wash over me, I do agree

Get a diary, keep a note of every contact day and what time they left and were brought back.

Text him at exactly the time they should be back, just something along the lines of you were due to bring them back at 6pm, it is now 6pm, can you let me know if you are going to be late.
At 10 past text again,
The order states the children are to be returned at 6pm, it is now 6.10, please can you let me know where you are and when you will be returning the children.
And so on.

Send the same messages every week.

Take screenshots every week with time and dates stamps visible.

Also text after he drops them home to say thank you for finally returning the DC’s please can you stick to the correct time next week, that way you have proof what time he brought them back.

I’d even be tempted to text/email with a copy of the order explains to him that he has been late with the DC’s every time he has had them, the contact states xyz and it must be follows.
Screenshot the email and his reply.

The court won’t take kindly to his disregard for their order.

I have had another look, and all of this comes under “Recital” which I hadn’t noticed before.

So I assume I can’t do anything about that then? Beyond taking notes to show how he completely disregards what was agreed?

I do text every week to remind him and he just doesn’t read it or reply.

A lot depends on your precise circumstances. Why isn't he allowed overnights? Very unusual not to be granted for a 6 year old so there must be concerns. I actually think you need to try to work out an agreement between you rather than going to court, try at least

He took me to court. He wanted 50/50 and the children don’t want that, nor is it in their best interests at this moment in time.

I had tried to come to an agreement and I had attended mediation, but he didn’t get the response he wanted from the mediator, now he hasn’t had the response he wanted from the court, so we are just basically ignoring the bits we don’t like, such as return times.

There are safeguarding concerns which is why there are no overnights.

Anything less than 50% (which is sadly part of his abusive behaviour) will not be accepted by him, simple as that. I could talk until I was blue in the face, he has the same report I do, stating the children don’t want to live with him, or stay with him particularly and still he continues to pursue me in court for shared care

@Weewilliewinkie123
Are you both using solicitors or self representing?

I would, ataje screenshots of all the messages. As far back as possible to show the breaches.
I'd record what your child has been told re overnights.
I would also email your ex with a copy of the recital, explaining that he is breaching the recital on every occasion without any communication with you and this is not acceptable. He may or may not respond. If he does then this will then go into the next court hearing. If he doesn't your email will go into it, continue to then email monthly with his lateness, include the times he returned so there is as much transparency of what he's doing..
I would also add a paragraph that it's inappropriate to tell our children that it matters not what the parents or court say that they can choose to sleep at the father's house. Just state it in a paragraph.
He'll most likely hang himself with his responses.

If you have any solicitors then also cc them into these emails.

Thankyou. I have solicitors advice, but thus far I have self repped.

He has a solicitor and he was with him at the last hearing. I had been debating sending an email to his Solicitor but I’m very edgy about this as it seems to be a lot of me defending myself and him just doing what he wants, so I worry I will appear overbearing

Don't have that fear. Be non emotive. Factual. Concise. Send it and cc the solicitor. Explain that he is not communicating. Just get it on record.

You have a massive advantage over your ex.

Whatever the safeguarding concerns are about your ex the court does not deem them a concern or your ex would be in a contact centre.

Don't throw away your advantage by doing anything silly like trying to enforce a recital which won't work, will agitate your ex and could give the judge cause to wonder why you are looking to restrict time.

Once you have your court order in your back pocked then you are in a position of strength and can look to do something along those lines. By that point you will have something to enforce.

Mention the late return. He has no right to potentially impact on plans you have made. My exh was 45 mins late every time. He declared this the new normal return time next court trip. Then was late after that again to try and again make a new normal. Dc were getting back at nearly bedtime!! Late tea, late Sunday night before school next day.
Judge got the measure of him eventually..