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A friends new partner is not allowed to contact his ex

4 replies

MalbecandToast · 06/03/2022 08:40

Hi looking for some advice for a friend please. I see massive red flags with this guy but wanting some advice from others who can be more objective than me and have more knowledge of the legal side of things.

My friend met her boyfriend online dating six months or so ago now. He is very intense and has been from the get go, skipping his child's birthday party to go on their first date, taking about livibg together from day one, emails her CONSTANTLY at work (we can't have phones) and calls her several times a day on the office phone too. She stays with him every weekend but he does not drive or work so they don't always see each other during the week but some times he will return with her and stay at her house whilst she works.

He tells her he is a roofer but doesn't drive, has no tools or a lock up anywhere he could be keeping them. Says he is signed off sick with carpal tunnel but does not appear to have any issues using the wrist, doesn't complain of pain etc. Very breezy when asked when he might go back to work.

Friend no longer sees any of her friends nor spends time with her adult children who live with her at weekends as she travels to his- she used to jlhave her grandchildren to stay but doesn't since being with him.

The last few weeks she has been taking Mondays off work and is now really behind on her hours, and we worry it's because because doesn't want her to go home.

He shares a daughter with his ex, she is very troubled and was living with the boyfriend until after another row she went back to her mother, where she is also unhappy. He apparently speaks to her very poorly and is openly hostile about her mother to her and unsurprisingly this has made her a very angry, hurt little girl. My friend talks about this girl in very negative terms, and has to be reminded that she is a child and the product of her upbringing. I suggested that they could go along for family counseling to try to help her but the ex has an order that states he cannot contact her or visit her home etc. I urged my friend to do a claires law application but she firmly believes the partners rhetoric that she makes things up and he has done nothing wrong.

Is it possible to get a non-molestation order or whatever this is without evidence?! My guess is absolutely not but want to be sure before she speaks to me about it again. Thanks for any help you can give!

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 06/03/2022 14:28

Is it possible to get a non-molestation order or whatever this is without evidence?!

He would have had the opportunity to oppose his ex's application for an order. She would have needed evidence to get an order.

Viviennemary · 06/03/2022 14:32

This dynamic doesn't seem to have very much to do with you. But if you have concerns about this child's welfare then report to Socisl Services.

EdithStourton · 06/03/2022 14:38

I would advise the friend to get the hell away from him.

MalbecandToast · 06/03/2022 15:41

I have tried hence trying to get her to do a claires law application but she says its all lies from the ex. If I knew his address I'd do it myself. I'm very worried about her. Yesterday she was buying him expensive designer hoodies on her next account despite only having said on Friday she has less than £10 in her bank account to feed her sons for the month because he asked her to as a late valentines gift Sad

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