What would a judge decide is most important?

[AlmostUnbelievable]

Ex has a family home - the marital home we've lived in and brought our children up in.

One child has Autism and I am now disabled with a degenerative and incurable illness: would a judge prefer ex to have the home because of his sentimental value or me with the children because of our hardship for moving - at least until the children turn 18?

With this divorce I feel I can't ask for any thing 'big' or I will be viewed as unrealistic or unreasonable and therefore some sort of trouble maker to be slapped back down in her box.

So I thought I'd ask what people think.

Does your ex not want your children to stay with him in his family home? What do your children want to do? Stay at home with dad or you or leave?

If I were living in my family home with my children and my ex wanted a divorce I wouldnt see it as my obligation to leave my family home necessarily. Although I would consider it if my children wanted to stay in the family home with their mum.

Ex petitioned for divorce saying he's having mid life crisis.

He thinks he will have the children in the marital home but they don't feel safe with him (lots of reasons being looked into). They are desperate to live with me and I would agree, though I am also keen for them to be able to have as much of a relationship with him as is safe for them to have in terms of visitation.

Generally the marital home is sold and you both end up with second rate accommodation.

It appears that the finances we have would indicate that, with a new mortgage maxed out, the house would be almost matchable.

I just wondered if anyone has any court experience or maybe a judge, related to a judge... solicitors... anyone who might know what priority preference a judge is likely to have.

The house is not looked at in isolation. You need to consult a solicitor who will be able to give you an idea of the likely financial settlement. The factors the court will consider when deciding the settlement are set out in the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. You can read the relevant section at www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25.

The court will look at the best interests of the children, including adequate housing. So the answer depends to sone extent who they will be living with.

You need to think about if you can afford to run the house. Or would you be better off moving elsewhere. Yes there may be teething problems but there’s no point in being asset rich and cash poor.

[quote prh47bridge]The house is not looked at in isolation. You need to consult a solicitor who will be able to give you an idea of the likely financial settlement. The factors the court will consider when deciding the settlement are set out in the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973. You can read the relevant section at www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25.[/quote]
The problem I've got is I’ve consulted different solicitor, one said I can't expect the house and another said I can. That's why I came here to make enquiries.

That link you sent is very informative, thank you for that.

@Rainbowqueeen

The court will look at the best interests of the children, including adequate housing. So the answer depends to sone extent who they will be living with. You need to think about if you can afford to run the house. Or would you be better off moving elsewhere. Yes there may be teething problems but there’s no point in being asset rich and cash poor.

Ironically, although the house is expensive asset wise it's incredibly cheap to run, which is another reason I'd be better off here if my warning potential is non existent compared to his.

Are you named on the mortgage/deeds?

Sentimental value will not come into a judge's thinking!

They'll start with a presumption of 50/50 then look at the children's needs as priority. How old are your DCs, where would they want to stay, who's been main carer and are you able to continue to care for them?

Do you mean your ex owned the home before you got married, or that it's an inheritance? I'm not sure what you mean by family home.

It doesn’t really work like that op. It’s a split of assets then if you cannot maintain yourself and would be in poverty then the other party would be in to pay maintenance so you avoid hardship.

@AlmostUnbelievable

I just wondered if anyone has any court experience or maybe a judge, related to a judge... solicitors... anyone who might know what priority preference a judge is likely to have.

It depends on your circumstances. There’s lots of things they’ll need to take into consideration, such as who the children will be staying with, your financial/employment circumstances, other assets etc. Could you afford to stay in the house if you were allowed to? If there are no other assets then it’s likely that the house will have to be sold and any equity split. Would you be able to buy him out? It would be unfair if one person was awarded the entire house, and the other one was left with nothing

Can you afford to buy him out?

Your ill health and child disability will certainly be considered. The question is meeting his housing needs if the house is not sold, where will he find the money to house himself. If you can obtain a mortgage to buy him out you should be able prove that. Pension values are another factor. Where are you and the children living now if he is in the house?

It's his family home from his parents? I'm not sure you can expect him to move out even if that's just morally. Or have you bought it later together?