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Original poster

Do I need a new will?

28 replies

Wigeon · 14/02/2022 19:03

DH and I made mirror wills many years ago, when we lived at a different address and before we had DCs. We now have 2 DCs, live at a different address named in our wills, and my sister (mentioned in the wills) also has a different address to the one stated in our wills.

The wills did say that if we have DC in the future, then XYZ should happen to them/our estates.

Do we need to make new wills? Or are the current ones sufficient?

OP posts:
tanstaafl · 14/02/2022 19:22

The address was stated in your will?

Never heard of that, but, I think you can attach a letter to update your will without going through the whole rewrite process.

Kazzyhoward · 14/02/2022 19:25

Was there full provision in your wills for potential future children? I.e. not just inheritance, but what about who you'd want to have custody of them, how their living expenses would be financed whilst minors, your schooling preferences, etc etc?

Original poster
Wigeon · 14/02/2022 19:28

@Kazzyhoward The wills just say that my sister gets custody of them and they inherit everything, in the event of both me & DH dying. Nothing about schooling etc. Tbh I trust my sister to make decisions in their best interests, even now the DC do actually exist!

OP posts:
endofagain · 14/02/2022 19:29

You should probably check with whoever wrote your wills. I understand that you can usually just add an extra clause. We have updated our wills a couple of times due to changing circumstances. We felt it was necessary for peace of mind.

Original poster
Wigeon · 14/02/2022 19:32

@tanstaafl - ah, just double checked and the wills say “I Wigeon of 1 High Street, Ambridge, Borcetshire, BN1 1AB hereby revoke…” etc etc, but then doesn’t list anyone else’s addresses.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigeon · 14/02/2022 19:36

@Kazzyhoward - argh, just double checked, and they say who gets what money if we have children or if we don’t have children, but doesn’t actually say who gets custody! I think we discussed pre DC but didn’t actually decide because we thought it was so far in the future it would be up to our 3 siblings (between us) to decide and we’d trust them to work it out depending on their own circumstances at the time of our theoretical double death.

I guess we do therefore need to update then - or could we still keep the current wills which are silent on that matter, and trust our relatives to work it out…? We are only early 40s and no serious health conditions…

OP posts:
Thehouseofmarvels · 14/02/2022 19:42

If you are leaving everythibg to your husband have you considered what might happen if you die and he remarries? You could change the house ownership to tennants in common and make him a life tenant of your half. Lots of stories on here about Dad's leaving everything to their second wife.

Ginger1982 · 14/02/2022 19:46

You could probably get a codicil to cover it.

LizzieMacQueen · 14/02/2022 19:49

One thing you could do, rather than name who you want to look after any children were you to die, is to name someone who you would like to make the decision instead. So deferring the actual decision until/ if it's needed. ( let's be honest unlikely event that you need this )

Original poster
Wigeon · 14/02/2022 20:47

@Thehouseofmarvels interesting point. I can’t believe he’d leave the DC destitute though, unless he had a personality transplant upon remarriage.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wigeon · 14/02/2022 20:48

@LizzieMacQueen ah I didn’t realise you could do that. Or potentially all 3 siblings of ours jointly?

OP posts:
Aurorie11 · 14/02/2022 20:51

Our wills are for my sister and DH's sister to make decision on making decision about children's care if the need arose. Not that it would be them, but they would advocate for them

Xenia · 14/02/2022 20:53

You need to see a solicitor about this, not rely on this thread. If addresses change you do not change the will. It is definitely not needed. If you want to add something about who will care for the children you can put that one issue in a codicil but it needs to be 100% correctly so use a solicitor.
Thehouse is right that you might want to leave your half to eg the children in trust - I know someone who was dying of cancer who left her estate to her infant children for school fees as she thought the husband would not use it for that - he was very nice about it all and accepted her mother and sister could be the trustees etc. However you need legal advice as if you exclude a spouse entirely there may be claims under legislation. You also need tax advice if IHT might be relevant by then in certain cases.

Thehouseofmarvels · 14/02/2022 21:38

@Wigeon I am not talking about leaving the children destitute, I think you are thinking of them still being children when you say destitute. I am sure he would not. Here is an imaginary future:

You die aged 65 after a short illness.

After 1 year your husband meets someone and remarries 18 months later. New wife moves from her rented house into your house. She suggests writting wills, splitting their assets among your kids and her 4 children when they both die. New Mrs is 15 years younger. They both write wills saying everything to the survivor then split among their kids. Your husband dies 5 years later leaving all your assets to his new wife. He loves his second wife and trusts her to do the right thing. New wife lives for 30 more years and looses contact with your children. Her kids presure her to change her will to leave everything to them once she gets frail. The way they see it, your house has been their mum's home for 30 years, and your children are people they knew for a few years. They feel no conection, and have worked hard to help mum maintain the house so why should they share ?

In this scenario your husband does nothing wrong, neither does anyone, but your kids loose out!

Thehouseofmarvels · 14/02/2022 21:46

@widgeon My partner's aunt was married to a very well of man for ten years, 25 years her senior. He has been dead 12 years and she could live another 20-25 years. She has no contact with his kids and he left every penny to her as his wife. She is lovely, but had nothing in common with his children, although they were always polite to each other. She has no children and my partner who is close to her could get left the house ( if she doesn't leave it all the the cats home or whatever). It will be us looking after her in old age and helping her maintain the place.. and it will have been her home for decades, I don't know if my partner will feel whether he should share. Just a perspective.

Thehouseofmarvels · 14/02/2022 21:55

My partner's aunt and her husband sold both their houses ( his much more valuable) and bought a 6 bed in a very expensive area together. If the late wife had done what I suggest, the widower would have had to give his wife's half to his kids.

Original poster
Wigeon · 14/02/2022 22:02

Lots of food for thought.

@Xenia, yes, of course we’ll get proper legal advice if necessary, have just been wondering whether our current wills are actually inadequate or even invalid, or whether they are good enough for now. Obviously one of us could get hit by a bus any time, so “adequate” isn’t ideal, but better than “invalid”…

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Thehouseofmarvels · 14/02/2022 22:16

I have even seen it happen on Mumsnet that their parent leaves everything to their new spouse, who remarries and leaves everything to their new spouse. My partners aunt could still remarry, and leave everything to a new spouse, everything her late husband worked for ending up with a random bloke he never knew.

Thehouseofmarvels · 14/02/2022 22:31

Typed in mumsnet stepmother got everything and stumbled on a story from 2019 where posters mum died, dad remarried, left everything to his new wife, who remarried and left everything to her new husband who then remarried. Poster was wondering if she would get anything as late stepmother has made promises. The poster was told that since her parents house had passed though various new partner's hands' she had better forget any inhearitance.

JasJutley · 15/02/2022 10:25

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Nahnanananahna · 16/02/2022 13:00

Were you married when you made the wills or were they expressly in contemplation of marriage? In England (not sure about elsewhere) marriage invalidates a will so you would need a new one anyway if you weren't married (or weren't contemplating marriage).

Original poster
Wigeon · 16/02/2022 16:58

@Thehouseofmarvels - I see what you mean! I guess all sorts of complicated permutations can happen and it theory it’s good to anticipate some of them in your will…

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Original poster
Wigeon · 16/02/2022 16:59

@Nahnanananahna - we were already married when we made them, so at least they’re not invalid on that account.

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Xenia · 16/02/2022 17:25

There is certainly no need to change them unless you want to do so (just because addresses have changed etc)

Thehouseofmarvels · 16/02/2022 17:39

@wigeon Yes a lot of things can happen ! People think ' If I leave everything to my spouse I trust them to leave everything to the kids' but often loyalties can change; its normal for a husband to worry about how a second wife might manage financially, leave her everything and hope she will do right by his kids.