Absent father filing paperwork for parental responsibility and contact. Advice please?

[AdviceNeededPls2022]

I have 2 sons aged 9.5 and 12. I separated from their father when pregnant with the youngest due to violence and infidelity. He’s had no contact since. This was his choice as I was always clear that if he wanted access I would happily agree via the courts to ensure it was reliable and consistent.

Today I received a C1 form in the post that he has filed with the court. In it he states he wants parental responsibility for my sons and also to have contact arrangements made.

I’m unsure of where I stand legally with this. He hasn’t seen my 12 year old since he was 1 and has never even met my 9 year old. They have an amazing stepdad who they call Dad, he does everything for them. My ex hasn’t made contact in 10 years, has no relationship with my boys and though he has paid the bare minimum in maintenance this was through the CMS. I had to go through them to get it and even then he went to court to try not to pay it. But not to see the boys.

Please can anyone share their experiences or advise me? I don’t know what happens next and am worried as don’t want to upset my boys and the happy family we now have. My ex hasn’t had interest for 10 years, will he be granted access now despite having no relationship with my sons and making no effort for so long. Will that be considered in their best interest? Will they get a choice? They love their stepdad and think of him as their dad. If given a choice I know they won’t want to go but will they be asked? How long could this process take? I can see he completed the form in October and I’ve only just received it now

Thank you to anyone who reply’s and can help in any way. I’m so upset and am sitting here in tears shaking. It’s horrible and I don’t know what to do

After age 12 any court will take the child's view into consideration.
Having said that slow and sensible contact will always be encouraged unless he has been deemed to pose a threat.
As he is the biological parent he will be granted pr but he will have to follow the due legal process.

He is likely to be granted PR unless there are very good reasons that it is not in your children's best interests.

The views of both your children will be taken into account in determining whether there should be any contact and, if so, what form it should take. That doesn't mean the court will do what your children want. Your older son's views will carry more weight than your younger son. Given that there has been no contact for so long, if contact is awarded it is likely to be indirect initially, i.e. letters, calls, texts and similar.

It’s a shock and he has clearly been completely inadequate. But, having a great stepfather does not take away the fact that most people will want to know their biological parents if possible, even if that is only via letter and taking into account whether he is a risk to them.

Thank you all for replying. Having had some time to talk to my husband and think things over much as I hate this I’ve realised it’s what is best for my boys. Growing up with a father who abandoned you would be very damaging to their mentality and well being as adults, knowing him will be good for them as long as he is decent. Which I think he will be as by then they will be 10 and 12 so in order to make things up to them I’m sure he will Disney Dad it But that will mean he’s kind to them, takes them on days out and buys them things etc. So what’s there not to love from a child’s perspective. When my mum and dad separated that’s what he did and I’m sure my mum must have hated it but as a child I loved it. Plus my boys will have more family and brothers and sisters who love them.

I’m trying to be positive as I’m sure anyone who reads this can tell. But can’t think about what I want and just think about what is best for my sons. I know he will hate that they have my husbands surname and that they call him Dad. But Dad is a title you earn. My husband has earned it over years of raising and providing for them, taking them to school, making their dinner, giving them pocket money, talking them to the park to play football etc. This man, their biological father hasn’t done anything for them through his choice. So he will have to earn the title of Dad and can’t just demand it. That’s my thinking. As I know my boys think of my husband as their father and won’t want to stop calling him Dad or be forced to call someone else that who they don’t know.

But aside from those potential issues I’m trying to think positively and about how this can help my sons as men. I hope that’s the right mentality to take, I know this will be hard for my family and an adjustment but we will have to do our best moving forward. I hope it works out!