International Child arrangement - change

[Tulipsandclogs]

Complex case..

My SIL needs to change a Contact Agreement.
Relocated back to the UK when DD was 2 in 2020 after an horrific court case in RSA. She had PND, alone with no family support so had to have a costly lawyer, and to be honest would of agreed to anything just to get home. Part of the agreement was she would return to RSA each year for 2 weeks and that the other parent would not pay maintenance in order for them to travel twice per year to visit dear niece in UK. SIL has made one trip, her first scheduled one and now finds herself in the position of having no money to actually travel or left after all outgoings time save, final lawyers bill wiped out pretty much every last penny she has, save for a small amount for emergencies ie car repairs etc..
They have Mediators etc based in RSA,

She is struggling to find support here with no money, other than knowing about the C100 form.
She is primary parent, never lived together as a family. The other parent, instead of visiting dear niece in October when the red list was removed, chose to have had IVF herself and is now expecting a child.
SIL follows the order to a T and facilitates a meaningful relationship via FT every other day for at least an hour, which was a pretty good going for a 4 year old! Once she has paid for all their living costs (working mum), she is literally left with nothing.. the other parent wouldn’t commit to helping financially should she have got stuck in RSA due to Covid, wouldn’t contribute to DD dental bill, so will no way agree to contributing to cost of travel. Infact so bad, SIL was the equivalent of £4.95 short for baggage wrapping on her return from RSA so had to ask other parent (who was present for goodbye at airport) for the £4.95, she received an email from her recently requesting the payment back.. £4.95! R100. My feeling is that the order also needs tweaking in the maintenance dept too.. she’s a wreck, I’m trying to help.. any advise?

A friend of mine had a similar situation.. she made an application to the UK courts to revisit. Your friend may want to also apply to the UK courts since the child is now a UK resident. She can explain the extenuating circumstances in which she ''agreed'' contact simply to get out of RSA and why she feels the contact is unsustainable. The court can then look at what makes sense in view of the circumstances.

Really appreciate your reply. Could I tentatively ask if your friend was able to work it out?

If it's been more than 12 months since the SA court order the UK courts now have jurisdiction. No one is going to make her magic the money up to make the trip In fact surely the point of him not paying maintenance is so that he can pay for the cost of this himself?

She needs to be careful how she tells the Court she agreed to things just to get her way, though. It's not an attractive line for any court to hear.

I suggest she gets advice from a serious international children solicitor, now. Forum Shah at Dawson Cornwell is good.

Thanks for reply.. yes that was the idea re maintenance, they had advised they were coming in April, but on FaceTime to dear niece she keeps referring to the next trip around June time that SIL is due to make again to RSA.. I don’t think she has any intention of coming in April.. she gave birth 2 days ago…

I assume your sil is the birth mother, it seems surprising the other parent is treated that way as presumably not a biological parent, nor an emotional one if they never lived together. Unless the baby was ivf using other parent's egg? Were they married?

MrsBert..

I think this is going off track. Nobody is wanting to treat anyone like anything. Frustrations yes, no financial support and now financial situation dia thus terrified that she will have to breach a court order. Can’t afford legal support so any advice helpful. Thanks

My friend has had some success to the extent the children were considered UK resident and therefore under the jurisdiction of the UK. The matter was resolved but not without a lot of difficult as there were safeguarding issues and abduction concerns. It took several years. International family law is very complex and she needed advice from a number of different specialists. As @MrsBertBibby says advice from a lawyer specializing in this area is essential.

Sorry OP my point is that as this family don't sound like your standard set up, there's a whole extra level of legal complexity on top of the international elements.

So, as an extremely experienced family solicitor myself, my advice is the best help you can give your sil is to help her afford a proper international specialist. She really really needs it.