If a court order agreement states

BlueSky8 · 18/01/2022 22:13

Who are you?

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:14

Anonymous!

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BlueSky8 · 18/01/2022 22:14

Damn it.

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:17

Haha!

It's a serious question though!

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BlueSky8 · 18/01/2022 22:19

Hopefully someone comes along for you who will know.

BuanoKubiamVej · 18/01/2022 22:23

If there's nothing whatsoever to prove it's you. You would have to be very careful. A mention of the name of the school play in one post as rehearsals start. A mention of the date of the performance a few weeks or months later, coupled with a different blog entry mentioning something unrelated that could be cross-referenced, or you write something that is totally unrelated to the other person and so totally ok on Facebook, then repeat the same phrasing on the blog.
Eventually there's enough information on an anonymous blog that you can be identified, and then you are in breach of the order.

parietal · 18/01/2022 22:23

A blog is very very hard to keep private. JKRowling couldn't keep her authorship of her crime books private for long. Belle du Jour managed several years but was unmasked in the end.

So can you really stay anon? I would not want to risk any money on it.

If you feel compelled to write, how about an old fashioned diary stored on the shelf?

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:23

I really hope so!

🤞

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Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:25

Oh that was to other people coming along to help with information !

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Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:25

Would that mean MN RELATIONSHIPS board is also out?

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Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:26

My concern is, there's been DV and MN and my blog have been a source of help to me. ExH knows this and wants to rid me off any support I can get, and is trying to stipulate these terms in his cross-undertaking of my injunction. We go to court soon.

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Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:28

Problem is the SV is EA and although coercive control is against the law it's not widely upheld at all. So no judge thinks it's enough, without bruises.

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Original poster

AllChange2022 · 18/01/2022 22:28

The DV, not SV!

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TheFormidableMrsC · 18/01/2022 23:57

Ok I had a situation. I had 3 concurrent threads on here about my horrific divorce, the abuse my children and I were subjected to by my ex and OW and the endless court hearings. It was made clear in court that I must not share any details outside of the court room. However, writing the basics on my anonymous threads, which were my lifeline, where my location and name were not revealed felt OK to me.

Rocked up to a court hearing only to find my ex holding a bundle of printouts of my threads. Somebody, I never found out who, had recognised a very specific situation relating to the OW and had informed ex and OW. They tried to have me prosecuted for contempt of court. She went to the police and claimed "harassment". The fact was they couldn't stand their behaviour being exposed so tried to do whatever they could to shut me down.

Despite the Judge being handed the bundle just prior to the hearing, it wasn't even mentioned, he completely ignored it. Ex was apoplectic. OW was told by the police that my anonymous threads that I used for support were not a police matter. They got nowhere. My threads here still stand to this day and I hope they always will.

I think you have to be very careful but I would still do it. I completely understand where you're coming from. Good luck. I'd read your blog!!

prh47bridge · 18/01/2022 23:59

@AllChange2022

Not to publish any comments, photographs or other information relating to the other whatsoever through any media outlet, to include social networking sites;

Does that mean I can blog privately on an anonymous blog with password that cannot identify anything about me at all?

If that is the wording then no, it doesn't. It means you can't publish anything at all, regardless of whether you do so anonymously.

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 19/01/2022 00:02

@TheFormidableMrsC

Ok I had a situation. I had 3 concurrent threads on here about my horrific divorce, the abuse my children and I were subjected to by my ex and OW and the endless court hearings. It was made clear in court that I must not share any details outside of the court room. However, writing the basics on my anonymous threads, which were my lifeline, where my location and name were not revealed felt OK to me.

Rocked up to a court hearing only to find my ex holding a bundle of printouts of my threads. Somebody, I never found out who, had recognised a very specific situation relating to the OW and had informed ex and OW. They tried to have me prosecuted for contempt of court. She went to the police and claimed "harassment". The fact was they couldn't stand their behaviour being exposed so tried to do whatever they could to shut me down.

Despite the Judge being handed the bundle just prior to the hearing, it wasn't even mentioned, he completely ignored it. Ex was apoplectic. OW was told by the police that my anonymous threads that I used for support were not a police matter. They got nowhere. My threads here still stand to this day and I hope they always will.

I think you have to be very careful but I would still do it. I completely understand where you're coming from. Good luck. I'd read your blog!!

I totally get what you're saying about it being a lifeline. These complete strangers have been my mainstay through some really hard times. They will be an enormous loss, and he has wanted to cut me off from this support (including Mumsnet, which he hates the most!) and I suppose that if the order goes through then even coming to MN isn't allowed anymore.

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AllChange2022 · 19/01/2022 00:03

@prh47bridge the loss is awful.

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TheFormidableMrsC · 19/01/2022 00:08

@AllChange2022 I honestly think I would address this in court. My ex tried to stop me posting pics of my children on Facebook. He couldn't even see if I had or not, my page is completely locked down and anything I post is not for public consumption. Judge told him it was unreasonable in this day and age. It's all about control. What is your ex going to do? Spend all his time on the net looking for something you may or may not have written? He has no right to that level of control. Do you have legal rep to discuss this with?

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 19/01/2022 01:02

[quote TheFormidableMrsC]@AllChange2022 I honestly think I would address this in court. My ex tried to stop me posting pics of my children on Facebook. He couldn't even see if I had or not, my page is completely locked down and anything I post is not for public consumption. Judge told him it was unreasonable in this day and age. It's all about control. What is your ex going to do? Spend all his time on the net looking for something you may or may not have written? He has no right to that level of control. Do you have legal rep to discuss this with? [/quote]
I need to discuss it tomorrow with my solicitor but I have an awful feeling my solicitor doesn't believe me. His argument was pretty convincing, even though he's told a pack of lies.

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TheFormidableMrsC · 19/01/2022 09:22

@AllChange2022 You have to make a stand or this will just be the tip of the iceberg. It won't stop with this. Fuck him.

Wreath21 · 19/01/2022 12:26

It's not that likely he will get such a court order. It would be unreasonable for a judge to make it (though not impossible, judges taking the side of abusive men is unfortunately something that happens). Certainly, until any such order is actually made, keep blogging/using MN as much as you wish. (As a general rule, it's best not to publish stuff that is too identifying online is your posts are public or semi-public, but other than that, you have rights, too, including a right to express yourself.)
Remember that abusive men are very fond of insisting that they will have you silenced, arrested, locked up for being mad, banned from seeing your DC ever again, forced to return to the marital home and obey your owner, etc and it's all bullshit.

Rainbowshine · 19/01/2022 12:38

You might want to look at OTBT rather than Relationships as it’s less searchable if you decide to use MN. I think you would need to be careful, lots of lazy media use MN to “create” content, and stick a click bait headline on it. As others have said it doesn’t take a lot to add up and join the dots. Legalities aside if that’s going to cause issues I would consider carefully if it’s what you want to do.

TizerorFizz · 19/01/2022 14:27

Get your solicitor to argue this is draconian. It’s silencing you. Without knowing all the background to this, you surely can get your legal rep to say this is unreasonable. He might not want you writing about him though and that could be reasonable. So get clarity and the wording changed.

Judges don’t like being bombarded with “stuff” in court. It should be presented to solicitor or barrister before the hearing.