Child's passport

[singalongforever]

I have a 7 year old DD with my XH. He has been on at me for a couple of years to allow him to take her to an Asian country to visit his wife's family. So far I have refused permission as she is so young, quite emotionally immature for her age and would not cope being away from me for the length of time a trip like this would require.
Last Christmas he told me she had requested a passport for a present. Odd, I thought but agreed permission for him to apply. It turns out, she had not asked but she now has one and a visa for entry to said country.
As RP I have asked to hold onto the passport as I don't trust him to take her without telling me. He refuses and said it is his property. Where do I stand please?

Someone will be along soon who knows more but I wouldn't be allowing contact abs I'd tell school that nobody is to pick her up apart from you.

Is the passport a U.K. passport?

The passport isn't his property, but you have no legal right to insist on holding the passport.

Unless he has a court order saying your daughter lives with him or an order allowing him to take her out of the country, he would be committing a criminal offence if he took her out of the UK. That doesn't mean he would be stopped - many parents commit this offence every year without anything happening about it.

Unless the courts think there is a risk of abduction, it is likely that he would be able to get an order allowing him to take your daughter out of the country to visit his wife's family if you tried to stop him.

@BunnyRuddington, thank you for replying. It is a UK passport. Her dad is British, his wife from the Asian country mentioned. I doubt he would take her there permanently. However, I don't believe he has her emotional wellbeing as his first interest, due to past behaviour. He just doesn't get how overwhelming it would be for her in a foreign country for the first time with people who do not speak English (which he has confirmed).
We have a much older son together (although still under 16) and I have previously given him permission to visit but this was halted by the COVID outbreak. I have possession of his passport.
He accuses me of preventing the children from having cultural experiences and broadening their life experience (a direct quote from his latest email) and disguises his bullying tone by using big words to make himself sound important.

Bloody hell this sounds alarming!!!!! Is his new wife permanently in said country? Sorry no legal advice but from what you've said I'd be v worried about him scarpering with your DD and not coming back.

Ah ok cross post with your update which sounds less worrying

@prh47bridge, thank you, even though I was hoping I could insist the passport stays with me.
There is no court order in place at all. Until now we have muddled along.

A holiday to an Asian country frankly sounds like an absolutely fabulous opportunity for her. Be honest - does he have a point about you not broadening her life experience?

As you say she won't cope without you for say 10 days suggest he has her for longer periods than now to build up to it a bit.

I'm not sure why a presumably NT 7 year old would find a family holiday abroad overwhelming. If it was you taking her to Disneyland Paris would you think it overwhelming...?

How long has she stayed with him in one go? If it's only been one or two nights (ie a weekend) you might want to have a trial run of him having her for say 4/5 days over half term.

Will her older sibling be going too?

Wouldn't he take both kids together? Meaning he can't take your DD unless he also has the other passport that you hold?

Is he a responsible dad? Does she stay with them? Of course each child is different and I appreciate that, but do consider it as it does indeed give kids experience of different culture which is so important for they minds, He is English so he will be talking to your daughter plus I'm sure the Mrs also speak some English at lease so she will be around people she knows and speak English. I doubt if they will dump them with strangers who can't speak English. For her sake and the travel experience she would get, I definitely would say yes if I was you but I'm not. .

@titchy and @cherryonthecakes, he has had her for 10 days so it's not that.
When he asked to take them away over half term, I assumed Europe as it is for 7 days only and I agreed. I have no problem with him taking them abroad, just no as far as Asia.

I'll probably be accused of drip feeding now but I'm not entirely sure she is NT to be honest. I suspect HFA. She is so emotionally different to her peers, has meltdowns that last for up to an hour over tiny things.

id be very careful OP, sorry to be cynical but I have heard and read about this SO many times. once shes over there you will have hell to try and get back her if he decides to stay there.

I would not let her until she is much older, and then your son goes as well.

As for the passport, amazing things get cancelled or lost id suggest that!

@Mamana127, a responsible dad? erm...
A few weeks ago she was really upset before going to his house for the weekend. Saying she didn't feel like her SM likes her, always shouts, daddy doesn't love her and she didn't want to go. I reassured her he does. Spoke to him and he demanded she go anyway. I asked that he have a chat with her over the weekend about how she was feeling. When she returned home I asked if she and daddy had a talk. They hadn't but he had told her SM was pregnant. I feel like her feelings were completely ignored so he could share his good news.

I would have hated for my sons dad to take him as far as Asia too so i completely get where you are coming from. Have you checked covid rules for entry to the country? Might put your mind at ease for now that they won't be going anytime soon.

@AnneElliott, my distrust of him clouds my logical thinking! Yes, you are right that he would take the two together but what's to stop him telling me he is taking them to Spain and then going anyway.

@GettingItOutThere I have looked into this but as he applied and I don't know the passport number I can't.

Tbf I don't know many 7 year olds who would recognise a "chat" of that kind if it had been handled well.

@Forgetaboutme, thank you. My head is all over the place and I hadn't even thought to look at the travel restrictions in place. The way he worded his last email made it seem like Asia was the plan for this half term's holiday. It appears 14 day quarantine is required currently so no way would it be possible to visit there in half term.

He has to have your consent to take the kids out of the country, and in absence of your consent, an order from the court. I think someone already mentioned upthread a court is likely to grant this for a holiday.

But, if you have concerns about the child travelling for a long period of time, and you do not think it is in her best interests, and you think he might take her without your consent (e.g. saying they are going to Spain but going to (e.g.) Pakistan instead), then YOU can apply for a prohibited steps order that will prevent him leaving the country until or unless he provides you with flight details, accommodation details, return date etc.

The court are still likely to permit him to travel with her, but it will be on the proviso that he provides information, which you don't currently have. If he told the court he is going to Spain and then goes elsewhere, then that is child abduction as it exceeds the permission given. If he retains her, it exceeds the permission - and may become child abduction.

BUT, an order would depend on whether or not the destination country was a signatory to the Hague Convention. If it is, then the court are less likely to be overly concerned, if it isn't, then the court may be more cautious on granting permission.