Help - POA - lack of sibling involvement

[StressedPOA]

Need some help and advice. 3 siblings on Financial and Health POA for my Dad who has Dementia and needs to go into a care home.

One sibling does some care (does not work), one sibling does nothing and I do one day a week (work FT and only one who has young children).

I've been doing the finances for Dad since Mum died 4 years ago but just can cope with any more now as needs are greater, especially with financial assesments etc as Dad needs to go into a care home. The finances are complicated and there is a property trust involved which I have very little knowledge of and have to consult solicitors which add to time plus my siblings hate me getting this advice as they feel I am depleting their inheritance!

I've said someone else needs to pick this up and they are refusing. It's really making my mental health suffer. I get no time with my family as it is as my job is so demanding (another story), I spend one day at the weekend at my Dads which only leaves me one day a week to clean the house and do any other chores/life admin/get any down time. I hardly get to see my kids or my DH who is frazzled as almost a single parent. The other 2 siblings have grown up children. We are all local to my Dad so no excuses regarding distance.

Where do I stand? Should I just pick it back up and risk having a nervous breakdown and lose my job or can I insist they take a turn?

Just don’t do it and see what happens.

You can't insist anyone takes a turn. But you don't have to do it yourself.

Pay a financial advisor to sort it - if it involves trusts you need to get it right - the money going to the financial advisor/solicitor is just money not going to the care home.

Welcome to my world!!! My siblings do nothing. Nothing at all. I don’t work but in your shoes I would get the trust run by others. Try to decide which professionals would be best to handle it. All you need is the income for your dad. I would appoint a financial adviser and if your siblings don’t like it/ tough. They should do it. Mine sit back so I take decisions on behalf of my mum. Make sure you get LPA. Then use it as you see fit. You appoint someone to help your parent. That’s absolutely fine!

You can’t insist they do anything. You also are under no obligation to keep working so hard.
Tell them they have a choice to make. Either a financial advisor takes over the accounts and you bring in health aides or they start doing more. Give them a fixed amount of time to start acting. If they don’t, hire the help.