Getting abusive ex out of house

[danorak]

I fled domestic abuse a couple of months back with toddler DC.

My ex remains in our jointly owned home, will not leave or engage with my solicitor.

What would you do?

Solicitor is fairly confident about an occupation order being successful, she is excellent actually. But obviously it's not guaranteed and is expensive. Could go down that route, but I don't want to return to the property at all now.

I have moved in with a family member in a new area and want to stay here with some distance between me and ex.

Then there's force of sale? Again, expensive and no guarantees.

The mortgage is in both names. I don't think he'll even get one on his own!

He's a much higher earner than me and only has contact with DC in a contact centre. I'm on universal credit now and using money lent from family member to pay legal fees.

My other thought is to finally claim child maintenance. He's paid nothing except for sending some Poundland chocolate at Xmas for DC. His liability is £500pm and I need the money for DC. Claiming this would stretch him further and maybe make him consider the mortgage less affordable and push him to leave?

What should I do?

Hi
Came to support and if I am honest hear advice.
What does force of sale entail?

I'm sorry you're going through similar @WiserMe, feel free to talk about your situation too.

Hopefully someone might have some advice!

I think you apply for an order of sale to the court, which may be granted in the right circumstances. My solicitor suggested an occupation order may be the cheaper and most successful option for my situation and that an order of sale would be more expensive and difficult, but not impossible.

Not sure which route to take if any!

I took my abusive ex to court for a non molestation order and occupation order, but we were already living in the family home. In the end my barrister agreed with his before we got to the judge that he would sign an undertaking to not come back to the house, which I was happy with.

If it helps, my solicitor engaged a fixed fee barrister, which cost £750, best money I have ever spent! Over the course of a morning she got the undertaking agreed in front of the judges, amount of child maintenance set, contact with the DC agreed and a way of him collecting his stuff agreed.

I would absolutely pursue child maintenance independently of the decision around an occupation order.

Just be careful that he doesn’t let the house get repossessed by the bank for failing to pay the mortgage.
Is there anyway you can check it is being paid?
Also what bills are in what name.
Are you liable for bills in your name even if you have left the property?
I have no idea, but these are questions I would be asking myself.
Good luck 💐

You should push for maintenance as you are entitled to it for your son. Ideally it would be better to sell house or for him to buy you out because whilst ever your name is on the mortgage you are half responsible for it plus it's another tie to ex. That's just an opinion though the legalities I know nothing about. Hope you are ok.

I got some good advice on this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4079064-What-would-actually-happen-in-court-And-what-else-would-happen-first

It is so difficult. I understand you not wanting to return to the house. I came out of the family home (jointly owned) partly for emotional reasons and partly for financial reasons. I regret it as I ended up using all the money I got from the sale of the family home on rent. I could have stayed in the family home and had help from the DWP with the mortgage payments ( I didn’t know this at the time - I was incorrectly told I would only get DWP help for the mortgage for a year). I believe I was told back then that to force a sale could cost twenty thousand pounds!

Thank you all. I will speak again to my solicitor but at the moment his are not engaging with mine so I think he's avoiding the issue!

Does anyone know if I need to ring the mortgage company and tell them I no longer live there? What would happen then?