Is it only physical violence that gets you occupation order?

FortunesFave · 07/01/2022 09:42

Who told you this? You probably need to report the abuse to the police in order to get it taken seriously. Get him done for coercive control?

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 07/01/2022 09:43

Coercive control still isn't physical. It has to be physical

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Original poster

AllChange2022 · 07/01/2022 09:44

Also, it's already reported to police who have referred to social services

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FortunesFave · 07/01/2022 09:47

I'm not sure that's true...will look into it. But also, what about a non molestation order? That would mean he couldn't come to the house.

FortunesFave · 07/01/2022 09:50

Who told you it had to be violent? The gov site says this

You can apply if you’re a victim of domestic abuse and the respondent is your:

husband, wife or civil partner
former husband, former wife or former civil partner
fiancé, fiancée or proposed civil partner
former fiancé, former fiancée or former proposed civil partner – if your engagement or agreement to form a civil partnership ended less than 3 years ago
boyfriend, girlfriend, partner or a person you’re in or have been in a relationship with for more than 6 months

FortunesFave · 07/01/2022 09:51

Coercive control IS classed as domestic abuse....and the gov site says "Domestic abuse" not violence....I really want to know who told you this would not count.

Collaborate · 07/01/2022 10:40

I don't know who told you that but if they're someone you're paying for legal advice then seek alternative representation. I am a family lawyer and you do not have to prove physical abuse.

FortunesFave · 07/01/2022 20:19

@Collaborate

I don't know who told you that but if they're someone you're paying for legal advice then seek alternative representation. I am a family lawyer and you do not have to prove physical abuse.

Thank you! I knew it sounded wrong!

FortunesFave · 07/01/2022 20:20

I wondered if it was an overworked social worker who'd told her this...because they don't want to deal with the extra paperwork!

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 07/01/2022 22:40

Thank you all for this, it is a relief to hear and so I will pursue it after all. Really appreciate it.

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SunsetsAndLollypops · 07/01/2022 22:44

No they don’t have to be physically abusive to you. Whoever has told you this is incompetent at best. I’ve been in this situation. My advice: work with the services involved- police, social workers, health visitors… record everything, keep records and shout until you are listened to

eyesbiggerthanstomach · 07/01/2022 22:52

I agree if doesn’t have to be physical abuse. That is incorrect advice. However, they aren’t easy to obtain. The courts consider it fairly draconian to evict someone from their own property. You need to show he is better placed to leave than you and the children are. If your property is large enough, the court could order that the communal areas are used by you at certain times. My point is the court will try to find other solutions before ordering an occupation order. I had a case where the partner was emotionally abusive and made threats to kill by threatening to poison my client and that wasn’t enough! The judge simply said ordered they use their kitchen at separate times until the house was dealt with!

eyesbiggerthanstomach · 07/01/2022 22:55

Sorry I am not trying to put you off applying but just suggesting you get your ducks in a row first. Gather all the evidence. Do your research as to where he can live. Prove he can afford it. Get your police reports, medical reports.

Theunamedcat · 07/01/2022 23:00

Police tend not to take it seriously unless they can see it like a bruise even then some seem to believe she walked into my fist or I was just defending myself officer type responses

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 07/01/2022 23:38

@eyesbiggerthanstomach

Sorry I am not trying to put you off applying but just suggesting you get your ducks in a row first. Gather all the evidence. Do your research as to where he can live. Prove he can afford it. Get your police reports, medical reports.

The police didn't give me a report. Will they?

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FortunesFave · 08/01/2022 13:23

If they didn't give you a report, I'm not sure how it works but the best thing would be to contact them and ask. Maybe you need to ask for one or maybe someone SHOULD have given you one. You will have been given a crime number though? Did they give you that?

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 08/01/2022 18:09

They gave me a crime report number and I phoned for the statement today.

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FortunesFave · 08/01/2022 21:07

Well done! Can you tell us who it was that told you only physical violence would get an occupation order? It wasn't the social worker was it?

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 08/01/2022 21:11

It was a solicitor but I switched and they hadn't got all the details to hand. I've supplied the rest of it and am due to meet up next week to get it started.

It's so difficult because this weekend he's in such a good mood I am doubting my own reality and wondering if I'm rocking a boat that I should leave. But then I remember the way the children reported being scared of him. And even though they quickly forget when he's nice (like I do) it all comes crashing back in again when he reverts to type again, which he always does.

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FortunesFave · 08/01/2022 21:15

Yes, he's doing it on purpose because he can sense change coming. Ignore his tactics. It's fake.

Do you feel safe at the moment? Is he likely t check your computer or phone?

PracticalQuestion · 08/01/2022 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

AllChange2022 · 08/01/2022 21:20

Oops sorry, major name change fail!

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Unknown83 · 27/01/2022 22:04

@AllChange2022

I thought I had a strong case with EA, especially as there are children involved. But I'm told unless he's physically violent I wouldn't stand a chance in getting a judge to see it as anything other than a tactical divorce move.

It beggars belief that I have to wish violence on myself to get an abusive man out of the house. Moving isn't an option as I'm on benefits, besides, it wouldn't be fair on the children, one of whom is currently under investigation for ASD.

Sorry, I'm a bit late in replying. Do you think your solicitor meant A or B:

A) That violence has to be physical to get an occupation order; OR

B) You're unlikely to get the evidence together to prove anything other than physical violence.

I read a speech by outgoing President of the Family Division James Munby where he expressed concern that NMOs were being abused in order to get legal aid and occupation orders. Whether or not that was really happening is a very controversial topic.

However, if you don't have good, reliable evidence and you try and file an NMO then you could expose yourself to being accused of making false allegations. So there is a degree of risk involved; although the courts don't tend to punish people who make unproven allegations of this nature the family courts are notoriously schizophrenic and outcomes can vary wildly. The last thing you want to do is turn a judge against you.

I would suggest to you that if he is not just an unpleasant tosser and is coercively controlling you in the legally defined way then you might gather some evidence if you only communicate about the divorce with him by text message or email...

Hallowbat · 30/01/2022 10:26

No I got it through emotional abuse

Skeptadad · 30/01/2022 13:25

Total waste of time applying for a non-mol for legal aid. If you want legal aid then get your GP to fill this in:

www.gov.uk/government/publications/get-medical-proof-of-domestic-violence

It's all the legal aid agency need and counts as "proof". There's lots of other ways of claiming legal aid as well without any proof. Just join some Facebook groups.

Depends if you want a non-mol to stop communication or to get legal aid.

Joke of a system I can't see it lasting for more than another 3 years as it's being exploited.