Hi all,
New here and hoping I could get some advice on my issues with court before hearing coming up in new year.
Was not in relationship with DCs dad and never lived together. A lot of lies, emotional abuse, gaslighting and anger issues displayed by him and he caused a lot of stress during my pregnancy, prioritising a new relationship and then harrassing me after he was dumped and turning up at my home unannounced. I never reported this as didn’t think to at the time.
After DC was born he became even more emotionally unstable when I tried to set boundaries and then covid hit. I had been allowing short visits once a week before covid but communication broke down and with covid he was no longer welcome as we were all told to isolate from others.
Child under 3. He’s not on BC and as stated we were not together. He only started contributing financially when an old school judge said they wouldn’t look favourably on him if he didn’t bother contributing. So not a penny for over a year from him.
Anyway he has now taken this to court. I mentioned drug use and they ordered a test, he said no prob and then retracted and admitted that he would fail it. (Ie he lied on a court statement!) He has since passed one. They ordered supervised visits, during these my child kept becoming distressed and didn’t want to be left with him. When I said this in court they did nothing and just granted him unsupervised contact.
My issue is that each time we go he asks for more and more and I object and then he just gets what he wants. What is the actual point?
I know the system is flawed and favours the father over the child a lot of the time but I have friends who have actually been with their ex throughout pregnancy and for start of DCs lives and their exes get less time than in my case.
Has anyone had experience of this in NI? I’m worried I’ve just got a horrific barrister. Last time they asked for my instructions I said I was happy with x amount of time and i feel I was coerced into signing an agreement to avoid court by barrister saying if you don’t agree court will grant anyway. So now he has double what I suggested. Should I have taken my chances? I look like I’m in agreement when I’m not.
Now my DC is hysterical not wanting to go but I have to force her according to the barrister. Feels there is nowhere to turn and where I set a boundary before court, now I’m being pushed and pushed and pushed by the court instead. Don’t know where else to turn.
Sorry this has turned into an essay. 🤦🏻♀️