Why can't reasons for divorce be accurate?

[TherapyClient]

My H wants to divorce me and is giving completely fabricated reasons, like saying he raised our issues but I failed to repair the relationship. He's never raise it and he's the one who refused to try and mend our relationship; I’ve been the one asking to repair because I think we can - he's the one who's been consistently saying no.

My solicitor said that I could contest or I could counter divorce, but I would have to give 'light' reasons that aren't really true accusations. I think it might be so it doesn't go to court to be argued over.

But my reasons are strong and provable if they were to be contested, involving drug abuse etc.

I can't bring myself to just ignore these reasons he's given because truth is more important to me than that. I'm just not prepared to play games like that, even if they are legal games.

Nobody knows what reasons are cited in a divorce, other than the couple. My DH's ex cited all kinds of crazy reasons which we knew weren't true but he just laughed, moved on and got the divorce done ASAP.

I honestly wouldn't be bothered with contesting anything, what's the point? Yes, it's annoying and frustrating but all it's going to do is line the solicitor's pockets and drag the whole thing out a lot longer than needed.

You want a divorce - being 'right" or "wrong" doesn't matter a bit. The truth might be important to you in theory, but in practice you just have to do what is necessary to get the result you want.

Nobody is going to know or care about what reasons are given - not one person will know . And if you engage in a fight about it, nobody will benefit, not even you. You'll pay your lawyers more money to fight an argument that means nothing.

PS if you wait until next April, the new divorce laws will come into play, so nobody will have to jump through any hoops to get a divorce. Roll on April .

www.ibblaw.co.uk/divorce/government-announces-no-fault-divorce-to-become-law-on-6-april-2022

It's frustrating when people bend the truth to suit their own agenda.

My ex husband contested my divorce petition but it gained him nothing. It just prolonged what was the most stressful experience of my life. Solicitors are sooo expensive and in my experience (I spent 30k having to fight my ex for a divorce both here and abroad) their main aim is to line their own pockets.

The sooner you get a divorce the sooner you can heal and move on and enjoy your life once more.

My ex husband gave purely fabricated reasons as well. I was so upset by what he said as it felt like just another lie on top of many. Depsite how important the truth is to me objectively there was no point whatsoever contesting his petition or counter filing. As my lawyer said all it would have done is prolong the divorce and cost me more money in legal fees. I therefore accepted he divorced me on the grounds of my ''unreasonable'' behavior despite the fact the only person who had been unreasonable was him - as came out in the children's proceedings.

How did it come out in the children proceedings @Pinkyxx ? That's one really big worry I have over all of this too .

If it matters you can refute them and consent to the divorce anyway ex husband did that with me he decided that being engaged to someone else did not mean our marriage was irredeemable but consented to the divorce 🙄

@akeys1970

It's frustrating when people bend the truth to suit their own agenda.

My ex husband contested my divorce petition but it gained him nothing. It just prolonged what was the most stressful experience of my life. Solicitors are sooo expensive and in my experience (I spent 30k having to fight my ex for a divorce both here and abroad) their main aim is to line their own pockets.

The sooner you get a divorce the sooner you can heal and move on and enjoy your life once more.

I take exception to the 'their main aim is to line their own pockets'

Yes, there are some shit lawyers, but I'd say the majority would advise very strongly against people contesting reasons given for the divorce, and most will tell their clients that a counter-petition is just a way to flush money down the drain.

BUT, there are SOME clients who just won't LISTEN to sensible advice designed to save them time, money and stress, and will instruct you to issue counter-petitions, ask for hearings, stall in exchange of documents, and more. All so they can feel they are 'right' and that their ex spouse is 'wrong'.

Roll on April. No fault divorce is the best thing ever. It takes no time at all to say 'I do', and now it will take no time at all to say 'I don't'.

Agree with JustAnotherLawyer2.

Its just expediency. If you want a divorce just sign and agree. It doesn't need to be inflammatory, as that may annoy the other party and out of spite doesn't sign the papers, or constests to clear their name.

All of which means the divorce costs more and takes longer.

sign and be done with it.