Is there really no right to appeal court ordered child contact when it is damaging to the child?

[Charliealphatangorara]

A child I know and care about (not my own DC) is completely distraught about having to spend Christmas with his father, 200 miles away from home and the family he has spent every Christmas with since he was born. It is heart breaking for the child and all the family around them. It has been ordered by the court, as the father decided after several years of choosing not to have contact, that he wants 50/50 on holidays among other things.

We've found the courts to be completely scewed towards the interests of the father, as opposed to the child as they claim. The father has a criminal record and has put the child at risk. The criminal record has been discounted as he served his sentence, and he has denied the safeguarding incidents took place and was believed over the child (he said the child was lying and the court accepted this).

It just seems so wrong that the courts can make such damaging decisions for a child and the people who have the child's best interests at heart are completely helpless with no where to turn legally. Does anyone know of anything we can do to reverse the decision (I realise its too late now for this Christmas but thinking ahead to the next forced contact)?

How old is the child?

They are 6.

If the judge has made an error in law, didn't follow the correct procedure or there are strong reasons why the decision is wrong or unfair, you can appeal. It sounds like you are out of time to appeal as you only have 21 days from the making of the order, so you would first have to apply for leave to appeal out of time. If you want to go down this route you should seek legal advice to determine whether an appeal has any chance of success.

Alternatively, you can apply for the order to be varied at any time, but you would need to show that something has changed to justify modifying the order.

I would give my child something special to look forward to with you after Christmas and then try to be positive about a Christmas at their Dad's. Children to pick up on adult feelings and chat.

Thanks prh47bridge. Yes this was a few months ago now. I will pass your suggestions on to the DC's Mum.

Redhelenb, thanks, I'm not the child's Mum but I do believe she has all that in hand and we are all being outwardly very positive about it to try to make them feel better. It was more the legal side of things I was hoping for advice /experience around.

Too late for this year's as has been said best case scenario is the child concerned enjoys his time with his Dad and alternate Christmas's are OK until they're old enough to decide for themselves.

I'm a Mum of a child who has been doing court ordered contact (including alternate Christmas) unwanted contact for 10 years. I've had to force a highly distressed child many a time, and it is soul destroying. No manner of positivity made any difference - in fact at times it made it worse. I can't comment on appeal beyond saying that to I believe to appeal you have to demonstrate a procedural failure. You can't appeal on the basis of not agreeing with the outcome. A variation could be applied for, but based on what you've shared I'd say it's unlikely the court would vary the order unless something substantive has changed. The child is young, and (whether one agrees or not with this) the view of the court is that having a relationship with the Father is in the child's best interest. This seems to trump literally everything else.

Due to my DD being referred to social services and counselling several over the years due to her difficult relationship with her Father, I've revisited the prospect of varying the order several times with my original solicitor over the years. Each time, the advice I've had is that the court would not change it. She's older now (13) and largely refuses to go. We spent most of this year in mediation, which turned so nasty it was referred to social services. They told him that he could apply to court to force her but he'd lose as her rejection of him is in response to they way he treats her. They encouraged him to look at his behaviour / change but he refused and made a complaint about the social worker...

Once she turns 16 she has no intention of ever going again.

One caution about the 'positive attitude' to contact, while I agree with this, it's wise to be moderate here. My DD has explained to me that all my ''fantasy land positive vibe'' about contact made her feel like I was dismissing her experiences and making out things were not as bad / difficult as they actually were. In short, she felt like I was gaslighting her. I was trying to do as I was told to by the courts, as apparently if I was all positive about contact so would she be. She wasn't. The social worker we worked with this year told me to stop all forms of encouragement / making it better as it had left DD feeling she was alone in this horrible mess of being emotionally abused by her Father and obliged to spend all this time with him. I regret not following my instinct which was to adopt a more neutral stance.

The family Court is a mess, there's no justice at all, I don't think it's really ever about the children. Although what I would say is try being a grandparent & trying to get anything from them!

I think generally they believe it's best for a child to see both parents, & they'll probably take a stand if your friend tries to change the order, she can go back to court though & say it's not working, I'd get advice & also some professional recommendations such as school might also help