Is there a way of claiming back money lent to a family member.

[Fryston]

Sadly, I think I know what the answer is going to be...but here goes.

Money loaned to DC in differing amounts over time. Paid through the bank.
Total £15,000.

Evidence in messages of DC agreeing to repay the money owed.

Loan started to be re-paid monthly - after a year has stopped.

Is there anything we can do?
Relationship already in pieces so the effect on it isn't an issue.

Thank you.

Could try small claims court. Give Citizens Advice a call.

www.gov.uk/make-money-claim

www.moneyclaim.gov.uk/web/mcol/welcome

I don't think your relationship would recover. Why aren't they paying you back? You can go to the small claims court. In any case I'd write my will so that they received that amount less than any other children.

Messages and conversations with DC have been very difficult.

DC married last week, we weren't invited.
Agreed payments have also stopped.

Sadly, there isn't a relationship to damage.

How badly would you miss the money?

Generally, though, isn't the rule to only lend what you can manage without ?

Regardless of family ties.

I think small claims is only up to 10k.

You have written proof that the money was loaned and the intention was for it to be repaid.

So if you're not bothered about the relationship and you want the money back then yes you'd probably be successful.

Please don't say she's not bothered about the relationship. That's a terrible thing to say.

If you have evidence the money was always loans and not gifts and the debtor was repaying on that basis, I'd threaten to sue, and then do it if the payments didn't restart. If the money was always transferred through your bank there should be no problem establishing the dates and amounts of the loans, and the amounts repaid so far.

As PP has said the value limit for the small claims track, as it is called, is £10k, so it would have to be an ordinary County Court claim. For a money claim of £15k I believe the fee to issue proceedings is 5%, or £750.

There's two sides...always.

So if you're not bothered about the relationship and you want the money back then yes you'd probably be successful.

But if you could read the character assassination of DH by DC and the lack,of wedding invite, you would see that there isn't a relationship to save now.
DC is also saying by action 'I'm prepared to leave you with my debts, even if it affects our relationship'. Is DC really bothered about the relationship?

DC had problems with alcohol but is back working and newly married. Time and time again we've tried to help, as you can see especially financially, but feel that part of the holding to account and not 'enabling' is about DC making sure that all debts are re-paid. DC has to take responsibility. Our other DC's haven't had money loaned.

This wasn't a thread about relationships, this is in legal - I needed a legal response.

We absolutely know that if we go down the legal root that the relationship will never recover.
On the back of the wedding and the hurt caused, at the minute, it feels like the relationship won't recover anyway.
However, we will absolutely take time to consider our options and the impact of any decisions we take.

“So if you’re not bothered” as in bothered about the effect on the relationship - which as you’ve stated clearly in your OP, isn’t an issue.

Relationship already in pieces so the effect on it isn't an issue

Yes, it's the right thing for your other children to pursue this legally I think

It sounds like your DC is an alcoholic, which means you’re very unlikely to get that money back,

If there was no written agreement I'm place at the time the money was lent I doubt you would be successful in court.

I also think the only thing achieved by taking legal action would be to publicly destroy the relationship and make it look like both sides were to blame. Right or wrongly, this would be such an unusual action to take that it would make many people question your judgement.

@Foolsrule

It sounds like your DC is an alcoholic, which means you’re very unlikely to get that money back,

But back at work in a professional job for the last two years.

There was written agreement via text, and I think that as regular repayments were being made there was tacit agreement.

I think you would be successful if you took your child to court.

This wasn't a thread about relationships, this is in legal - I needed a legal response. Well said.

I can absolutely see why you would want to try and get your money back.

If the amount owing is more than £10k this wouldn't be a small claim, but it can still be pursued through the courts. Your first step is to send your son a letter before action. This should set out the facts (how much you've lent him and when, how much he has repaid and when), what you want from him and give him a reasonable deadline to respond. State clearly that if he fails to respond by the deadline, you will take legal action without further notice. Include with the letter copies of any documents on which you would rely in court and list any documents you want from him.

If he fails to respond, you can then commence legal action. If the amount you are claiming is more than £10,000, the fee will be 5% of your claim. You will have to pay that, but you can add it to the amount you are claiming. You can also claim interest on the amount he owes.

The letter may be enough to make him realise you are serious. If not, I'm afraid you will have to take legal action. Given that you have messages showing that he agreed to repay the money you loaned, it sounds like you have a strong case.

When you say the money was lent over time how long ago are we talking about? You need to issue proceedings within 6 years for a debt claim so older loans may not be recoverable.

He won't pay it back and you will ruin any relationship you have or may have. (Things may improve.)
Just write him out of the will and be done with it. lesson learned.

Thank you for clarity @prh47bridge.

Other responses - Katrina, yes, well within 6 years.

Lilly - that presumes that we have £15,000 to leave to each of our other DC's. I'm also very sure they would be much further forward with their own lives if they are given access, now, to £15,000 too.

What is your financial position like generally OP?

I think this matters. If you have millions in the bank/ property, I'd walk away.

If you're struggling it's a completely different matter.

So (sorry nosy!) but what's your household income, savings, investment, home ownership status and pension like?

Legally, I'm pretty sure you can sue. Go and speak to a solicitor. This isn't a small claim as that is limited to £10,000. So worth speaking to a solicitor first, as the fast track is a more complex process.

Write it off and remember.

Never lend money to family or friends, either gift it or say no I can’t afford it.
Many, many families fall out over lending, don’t do it.
Dont act a guarantor either that can backfire very badly

You may well succeed in getting judgment against him - in other words the court agreeing that he owes you the money, and ordering him to pay it. Nearly always in litigation like this the far harder part is enforcing the judgment. Unless he owns property that you can put a charge over it will be very hard.

Thank you for more wise words @AuntyBumBum.

He did own a house, now divorced and no property currently.

We have a lot of thinking to do.

Such a sad situation.