Turns out dp never got fully divorced

[GetOffTheXmasTree]

Dp and his exw separated in 2006. It wasn't a particularly amicable split - she had met someone else and moved v quickly on with them. I think dp signed what he thought were final forms and since then has been paying a part of the mortgage on the family home and an amount towards the dc.

He believed there was a written financial order that said when the youngest dc had turned a certain age/left home that the house would be sold. That age has happened now as the youngest is now 21.

Dp lost his job in covid and is really struggling financially so wanted to try and cut back what he's paying on the house and get it sold. Thankfully I insisted on him seeing a lawyer and the lawyer has found out that the decree nisi was done but the absolute and financial order was never finalised!

The lawyer has advised that the best thing to do is to meet his exw and come to an agreement. The problem is exw's relationship didn't last long and ever since then she's been incredibly bitter and has already told dp she's moved all her cash offshore (she's a citizen of another country so has the ability to do this fairly easily) and he won't be able to force her to sell the house.

Does anyone know what's likely to happen next? He is on the house deeds. She is saying she won't sign any document for a financial order and he can just wait another 20 years as far as she is concerned.

He'll need to get a solicitor and take it to court

He doesn't need her to sign anything to get a financial order. She may well be wrong about him not being able to force her to sell the house. He needs to talk to his lawyer and proceed with getting the divorce finalised and getting a financial settlement.

I think he should be able to force a sale. Hd needs legal advice.

Thanks. The solicitor seemed to think the easiest path was getting her to agree but I don't think dp has told him that that just won't happen!

The easiest (and cheapest) solution is nearly always talking and reaching an amicable agreement so the solicitor is not wrong but if she won’t agree then it’s likely that he can compel a sale through the courts.

that the decree nisi was done but the absolute and financial order was never finalised!

This is at best naive, he really didn't find out very much about how it all works.

If he had, he might have realised that there was no settlement signed nor that no-one else was going to apply for the decree absolute and that it was in his interest to get these both sorted out.

Any solicitor will tell you that the easiest way to sort this out is to get an agreement.

Since this doesn't seem likely, he really should go back to the solicitor to explain that agreement is not on the cards and that he really does need to get it sorted anyway.

Getting a financial settlement, and divorce finalised, really is a priority for him now.

Kind of irrelevant now, but having gone through this myself recently, I can't fathom how he didn't know that it was never finalised. Who applied for the decree nisi? how did his solicitor at the time not say 'um, we haven't finished yet.' It really doesn't make sense to me.

If the house is in the UK he will probably be able to get some settlement but will have to fight, finding a solicitor to do that may not be easy, they would have to be pretty sure of winning, even investigating the case may be expensive.

To be honest I have no idea. I didn't know him then and he was a lot younger and more naive I guess! I think he was just pleased to be out of a very unhappy relationship - she had already moved on, he thought he had done everything necessary (she initiated the divorce).

I'm also divorced and I can see how he could have missed it if he wasn't hugely engaged and/or wasn't getting a lot of advice. I can just imagine him thinking he had signed a few forms and been done with it!

I’d imagine - in terms of the house - that he’s in a stronger position than he realises in order to force a sale. Property prices have increased in 20-off years so a 50-50 split if he’s been paying the mortgage could be to his advantage.

But does he have assets independently now he wouldn’t want his ex having access to - pensions, savings, any interest in a property with you?

It’s not that unusual to go to court to get a financial settlement. Yes it will cost money but he will get some of the assets of the marriage. Solicitors and barristers get paid if they win or lose! So of course they will take the work! Even hopeless cases can get representation if it’s wanted!

@TizerorFizz

It’s not that unusual to go to court to get a financial settlement. Yes it will cost money but he will get some of the assets of the marriage. Solicitors and barristers get paid if they win or lose! So of course they will take the work! Even hopeless cases can get representation if it’s wanted!

Solicitors will take work if they are sure they will get paid - usually at £250 per hour or more, plus expenses, after so long, with assets overseas don’t expect it to be easy.

Of course the ex doesn't want to sell the family home
She is currently in a very comfortable position
I will assume that the children (now adults) live there too

However, your DP has paid for a property that he has not lived in recently & I assume he has to pay towards his current accommodation.

As far as I understand, ref the 2 current owners;
If one person wishes to keep the property, they have to buy out the other person.
Or
The property is sold & the money is split
Or
Your DP can give the property to his ex & she can have no share of his pension or other assets as part of the financial part of the divorce

Whatever happens, it needs sorting out