I'll try to make this brief whilst putting in all the relevant stuff. I don't even know if this is the right place to put this - so if it isn't, please suggest where else to post it and I'll delete this one!!
The question i need an answer to is "does this person have grounds to take out a harassment order against me?"
So here's the background ...
Split up with partner a year ago when i discovered he'd been lying about getting divorced and was still popping round to see his wife, particularly during lockdown. They'd been separated 4 years but he's not let go of that life. Two grown up kids.
He's spent the year trying to convince me he's been seeing a counsellor and he's changed - and making all the same promises as before.
I've spent the year on anti-depressants & having counselling. Not seen him and refuse to until he actually does what he says.
Started to believe him, thinking maybe he was a new man, but something wasn't sitting right.
He doesn't live in the same town but as i was in his area (legitimate reasons!) I drove past his marital home (he's supposedly living at his mum's).
He's there. Not the first time he's been caught out lying and being there, but I've never done anything other than bring it to his attention and make him aware he's been caught out.
So after calming down I knocked on the door.
Calmly asked to see him, told his (ex?)wife I was a friend, he came to the door and sheepishly said hello, I merely said "yeah, thought so" and walked away.
He's still messaging me trying to manipulate me into seeing him as he says his wife is talking to the police and is arranging a harassment order against me.
I'm not replying. But i am concerned about being arrested and cautioned.
I didn't think harassment was a one off.
And as I wasn't threatening or abusive or violent how is it harassment?
I wasn't there to see her or make threats against her - just to see my ex-partner who supposedly wanted me back.
She's not the "victim" (is she?), other than being married to someone who is dishonest!
If anything, I feel like i'm the one who has been harassed after a year of hundreds of emails from him, threats of suicide if i don't get back with him, lots of excuses for behaviour, blaming anyone and everything else.
But I deleted all those emails after finding him with her, so that i could put it behind me and remove him from my life.
Needless to say, I'm done with it all and have no intention of ever seeing him again, or going anywhere near his/her house.
So - does she have grounds for a harassment order? Is it something that will give me a criminal record? Or is it just a manipulation by him?