Advice about renting House from husband after separating.

[NamechangeApril21]

Just looking a bit of advice.

Me and DH are separating. He has MH issues and its become unsustainable for us to remain married due to the strain this has put on us - we are very amicable and trying to navigate this the best we can while protecting the best interests of our children. DHs mental health issues mean he currently cannot have unsupervised contact of the children, because he simply can't cope. He is a terrific father otherwise.

Dh owns the house we live in, he bought it while we were in a relationship but unmarried. His mother gave him the deposit for the house, and I signed at the time that I had no interest in the house, although over the years have contributed to the mortgage and upkeep of yhe house. I'm not named on the mortgage or on the deeds.

I have been looking nearby for somewhere to live (renting), but anything affordable is in a terrible area (neither of us want the kids living there) or is so far out that it would require me to run a car, which then makes it unaffordable. The housing executive have advised the waiting list for social housing would be years.

I have been a SAHM so currently am not in a position of buying our home. It would be ideal for the kids if we were to remain here. I am currently returning to work, so will be in a position to buy hopefully in a year or 2.

We have come up with the idea of me renting our current home from my DH, while he lives with family members. This would buy me sometime to save up a deposit to either buy this home, or another. I will not be trying to take my DHs assets from him, he is too vulnerable and I want him to get better, and have a sustainable future. I love him but just cannot cope with his MH issues any longer. My question is simply how to legally go about renting what was the marital home from him while he lives elsewhere? I would need to use housing benefit/ universal credit to contribute towards the rent until I'm up on my feet.

Just to add, he can't afford to allow us to live in the house rent free. And staying in the house would mean the least amount of disruption for the children.

You need to take legal advice urgently.
As you are married all assets go into the pot.
You have to take care of yourself and children first.

You won't get housing benefit for renting off your husband so that idea is a non starter I'm afraid.

@RedHelenB

You won't get housing benefit for renting off your husband so that idea is a non starter I'm afraid.

Is that true if he is ex husband though…I am assume they’re divorcing. Op, are you divorcing? My ex and I divorced because of his MH condition, I filed on unreasonable grounds. It was very sad but we managed to stay pretty amicable once initial venting was over and work it through practically. In theory I don’t see why you can’t do that, once divorced it’s no different than you renting form someone else. But don’t rent with him as a live in landlord . You need to stop living together ASAP for both your mental well-being.

By the way my divorce took 8 weeks due to unreasonable behaviour associated with his mental health -mainly becuase he decided to stop his meds. I wrote the grounds as fairly as I could and he reviewed them and tweaked. I then did the petition on line very easily. I’d recommend this rather than separating. That’s just a no mans land where in effect you are still involved in all the issues as a “carer” …

Even if we are legally separated and he registered as a private landlord? And declared the rent as additional income?

I signed a pre nup, I have no right to the house. I don't want to move the kids, and would like to buy the house from him but need time to do so. He couldn't afford to allow us to live there rent free as he has his own living costs to cover

@warblerinwinter thank you, this is helpful. We are divorcing, under similar circumstances. He is moving out tonight and won't be a live in landlord. I want everything to remain amicable so was thinking of divorcing after 2 years separation, but if he will go along with unreasonable behaviour without too much drama that would be much preferable

The mortgage company would also have to agree. I wanted to rent off exp but bank said maximum of 2 years only.

I'm reluctant to do anything to harshly that would tip him over the edge. He is still the father of my children and I need him to be ok.

Thank you, I'll look into that

You need in person legal advice OP.

You sound like you are in NI if you are talking about Housing Executive - I have the name of a good family law solicitor I can pm you if you are interested.

As far as I know, a pre-nup isn't binding in the UK.

Hi Op.

I have a lot of working knowledge for UC and they will not pay rent if you are married and together.

If however you are separated and it is a commercial agreement (tenancy agreement) and your ex does not live in the property you can claim universal credit. It is best to file for divorce asap and be as honest and open as possible with Universal credit.

Yes I'm in NI, that would be great thank you. I'll be getting legal advice during the week. My head is in over drive at the moment, and I'm just trying to work through some ideas. We will be getting divorced, and it will be an official tenancy.

[quote NamechangeApril21]@warblerinwinter thank you, this is helpful. We are divorcing, under similar circumstances. He is moving out tonight and won't be a live in landlord. I want everything to remain amicable so was thinking of divorcing after 2 years separation, but if he will go along with unreasonable behaviour without too much drama that would be much preferable[/quote]
Try to ask him for unreasonable behaviour as it will be so much quicker. I phrased everything as sort of when he does this I feel this (unreasonable or negative) consequence. It a tight rope a bit as you have to “blame” him, but if you have both agreed it’s the right thing now, you can tone down the accusation phrases. I think pitch to him as the other way will take so long, and the fact that no one will ever no the reason except the two of you and the “court” (you don’t even need a solicitor for your actual divorce, on line, simple , quick if not contested).

If it was done through a letting agency with all the proper legal stuff and your divorced it might work
But in most circumstances you can’t rent from immediate family