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Advice Needed, please help!

2 replies

jonny5000 · 08/11/2021 10:47

I have recently divorced and I am having a lot of problems with my ex wife and her new partner and looking for some advice on what to do if possible please.

My ex wife ran off with another man and has pretty much left me looking after our 3 children full time for the last 18 months. Since she has been involved with this man there have been several domestic incidents between them with various arrests and charges and she currently is on a suspended sentence for stalking and harassment incidents. He has addiction issues and a history of domestic violence. Generally speaking he is bad news and it is worth noting that my ex wife had never been in any trouble before since meeting him.

My ex wife now wants the children to live with her 50% of the time but is also living with this man. Due to my concerns about domestic violence I went through 'Clares Law' to try and understand his history as I am concerned with him being around my children. Social services have consequently been involved and clearly stated to my ex wife that he should not be present when the children are around, she has ignored the request of the social worker and now I am considering if I should take legal action to try and stop him being at the house. I have stopped the children being at the house until I decide what to do as per the advice of the social worker.

When going through what was a messy divorce my ex wife was making my life a misery threatening and demanding the majority of equity from our home! In order to try and give her the amount she was requesting I made the stupid mistake of giving my mortgage lender false earnings rather than actual earnings for that year as my self employed work was struggling due to covid and because I was looking after 3 children full time and generally very stressed with what was going on at home and had to turn work down as being brutally honest I was close to breaking point as I could not cope with everything. I was offered the mortgage with the predicted earnings but knew that what I was doing was wrong and withdrew the mortgage altogether myself, so never receiving any monies from the lender. My ex wife was happy for me to do this in order to get what she wanted but now is threatening me about it unless I allow the children to live with her and the new partner. I did have a previous mortgage using predicted earnings which my wife persuaded me to do in order to get a new kitchen.

It is worth noting that I do not have a mortgage anymore, but I am still worried what will happen. My ex wife and new partner constantly threaten me and don't know what to do as I feel I need to take out a prohibited steps order on this man to protect my children but also worried about what I did with the mortgage. It was a stupid thing to do which I fully regret but feel I was trying to give her the money she wanted so all of the family could move on but now they are using this against me.

Please help as I am unsure if this is fraud if I no longer have a mortgage?

thank you

Jonny

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 16/11/2021 13:29

Wow that sounds complicated, I’d see a solicitor. Document everything in the meantime.

Steamedhams · 16/11/2021 20:43

  1. Put in a restraining order to protect the children
  2. You haven't remortgaged. No harm no foul. Don't let them bully you

Just as an aside, the higher your predicted earnings in theory the more money your wife can claim from you. If you have to sell the house then so be it.

First priority is the children. Do not let them witness domestic violence. Stay strong. Seek help from friends and family.
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