Need legal guidance - DD contact

[Erin22]

Good evening everyone,

I need some legal advice re my DDs dad now deciding he may want some custody of DD ( he has left it this vague). Its a complex situation with historic DV and could be a threat within a conversation or could be more significant. For background his contact with DD very ad hoc - could be twice in one month and then maybe five/six months later. We always travel to him as it would be on eggshells if I asked him and asked him to come to us.

Is it such a thing to get an hours advice / guidance from a solicitor as a standalone service where I may or may not need to proceed further? How much is this likely to cost?

Thanks!

Has he physically harmed DD? Has he harmed any other children and been successfully prosecuted over it?

If not then he will get some contact with her especially as he has had ad-hoc contact already.

The first thing you need to do before involving solicitors is find out exactly how much contact he wants.

Ideally you want to sort out contact as informally as possible. As there has been DV in your case you can't go to mediation with him so you would need a relative or friend to do the leg work for you.

Only if and when he starts using a solicitor himself and/or put in a Family Court application do you need to get a solicitor involved. Otherwise you will end up running up legal bills of a few thousand pounds.

Thanks @RedWingBoots

No he has not harmed DD. He has had intimidating but not violent behaviour towards others that I know of in the last month. I support contact as long as DD wants it. When a visit is coming up she has meltdowns not wanting to go. He is now messaging this evening demanding 50:50 contact.

Is it possible to have a one hour one off session with a solicitor for advice before deciding how to proceed? Is this likely to cost hundreds as a standalone? If I knew what he would be likely to get contact wise from a solicitor then I would feel more prepared to try and informally.

@Erin22

Thanks *@RedWingBoots*

No he has not harmed DD. He has had intimidating but not violent behaviour towards others that I know of in the last month. I support contact as long as DD wants it. When a visit is coming up she has meltdowns not wanting to go. He is now messaging this evening demanding 50:50 contact.

Is it possible to have a one hour one off session with a solicitor for advice before deciding how to proceed? Is this likely to cost hundreds as a standalone? If I knew what he would be likely to get contact wise from a solicitor then I would feel more prepared to try and informally.

Tell him to take you to court and communicate only via email, do not accept short notice either.

Yes. You can get advice from a family solicitor.

Don’t call it custody. It isn’t. You are the resident parent and he wants to see his child. That’s not unreasonable. Personally I would ask the solicitor if there can be a visiting agreement set up without going to court. I’m not sure about this but, for the sake of your child, you need visits agreed and set to a timetable. So no one does anything ad hoc or breaks the agreed rules. I would set out with the solicitor the difficulties and see if they think dad should go to court of whether you can agree without this. Court is obviously expensive but sometimes necessary.

Also, just because he gets some contact court ordered, that doesn’t mean he will stick to it! He can still let your DD down.

Some solicitors will give a free 30min consultation

I wouldn't advise you to tell him to take you to Court as there are family and fathers groups who will guide him for free. He may then get his actual 50/50 contact as family court judges are unpredictable.

Instead do what @TizerorFizz has suggested and try to get contact nailed down. Then use email as your form of communication. That way if he doesn't turn up or tries to change contact at short notice, you have proof if he later takes you to Court.

Also if he later does go to Court this would be the agreement the Court would use as a starting point.

The best way to find a solicitor, family or otherwise, is by word of mouth as otherwise they can rip you off. (So ask anyone you know who has got divorced or had child contact issues themselves in the last few years who they used.)

For starters it's worth looking at these links before you go to a solicitor so you have some understanding of the law around parental responsibility including contact, the language used, your child's rights and you know what to ask -

• Contact

childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/contact/

• Parenting plan

www.cafcass.gov.uk/grown-ups/parents-and-carers/divorce-and-separation/parenting-together/parenting-plan/

Thank you all so much for the advice I will read the links. He is a very difficult person to have a calm conversation with but hopefully I can find a way forward!