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Original poster

MARAC Letter.

27 replies

Incognito4 · 23/10/2021 21:09

Long story short, fled domestic abuse and live in protection from my ex, he was having supervised contact in a contact centre until he didn't turn up twice and the contact centre have a clear rule of two strikes and you're out.
He sent a death threat to me via my former family home, it took me several days to report the hate mail to the police but I did, it immediately sparked a visit where they wanted me to make a formal statement. Upon reflection, I retracted the report as I was scared to draw attention to us and for it to lead him to where we are.
The police referred us onto Marac and I've since received a letter from Marac which has a police letterhead, it has been sent to the new contact centre we are about to start in, the court, my solicitor and cafcass and children services and it basically states I'm at significant risk of imminent harm if i continue to bring my daughter to contact.
What should I do as s result of this... I'm not sure where it leaves us in terms of the court order..
After this Marac referral, children's services also advised that whilst they can't tell me to stop contact, I do have the right to exercise judgement in order to safeguard myself and our daughter.
What should I do? I'm worried to breach the court order.

OP posts:
GingerAndTheBiscuits · 23/10/2021 21:10

Best to get some legal advice but I think if it was me I wouldn’t send her and would advise him to take the matter back to court (or you could to amend the order using the MARAC letter as evidence).

Embracelife · 23/10/2021 21:11

Un retract your statement.
Go to your solicitor
Don't go to contact if the letter advises not to.

Monsterpumpkins · 23/10/2021 21:12

They say you have the right to exercise judgement...
Surely your judgement is to keep the fuck away from him?

Original poster
Incognito4 · 23/10/2021 21:16

My solicitor isn't that great, I'm legally aided, she has a tenancy to scaremonger. When I've spoken to her before, she's told me that if I breach the order for no apparent reason then he reserves the right to change his application to a transfer of residence..
She said my ex is absolutely itching to get me back into court and claim im alienating him.. The police keep ringing me, they keep saying its not something they can just drop and I'm at significant risk of harm.

OP posts:
Original poster
Incognito4 · 23/10/2021 21:17

Tendency*

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 23/10/2021 21:17

Put your statement forward again

Get legal advice

Children services say they want you to use your judgement tell them you don't want to take the child to contact but you don't want to feel unsupported by them if that's the decision you make see what there response is

The cannot tell you what to do but they might be able to tell you if they support your position

Embracelife · 23/10/2021 21:17

You have good reason
Call police and say you want them to do everything they need to do to prosecute him

Embracelife · 23/10/2021 21:18

Police can protect you
If you are honest with them

Original poster
Incognito4 · 23/10/2021 21:21

I'm too scared because basically the report is in the police jurisdiction of my childhood home, I live in a different police jurisdiction area and the matter would've been transferred to my local police force to deal with, upon which they would've contacted him.. I couldn't risk it. It really frightened me. I don't want to lead him to where we are, our lives would be irrevocably damaged forever if he found us.

OP posts:
Embracelife · 23/10/2021 21:31

But the police cN act aNd issue him with order not to be within xx metres of you
The only way to address this is to do it legally
So you need to proceed and follow thru

Original poster
Incognito4 · 23/10/2021 22:40

I did have an nmo but it expired.

OP posts:
Embracelife · 23/10/2021 23:13

@Incognito4

I did have an nmo but it expired.
So act to get aNother
Pinkyxx · 24/10/2021 15:53

My lawyer advised me risk of harm is considered a valid reason to breach an order. What is the outcome of the MARAC? what steps did they propose to safeguard you and your child?

If I were you I'd make a statement to the Police and explain very clearly why you retracted the earlier one.

RedHelenB · 25/10/2021 08:52

How long ago was this threat sent?

Original poster
Incognito4 · 25/10/2021 20:31

I received the threat two weeks ago.
I spoke with the police yesterday and they advised me to forward the letter onto my solicitor and children's services as well as the court. The Marac has promoted all the agencies to get in touch, I've received several calls.

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 25/10/2021 20:35

It's really difficult because no you don't actually have the right to overlook a court order and if a social worker told you that you do that is very bad advice BUT if you have enough evidence you can go back to court to amend the order. Are you the poster who offered supervised contact and then regretted it? It's past time contact was stopped if so.
However you're right that potentially he might be told what area you are in if police in your area pick up the investigation but are you sure that's what will happen? Isn't it the force in the area the crime took place who investigate? They also have to take into account the risk of sharing your location.

Original poster
Incognito4 · 25/10/2021 20:40

I actually remember last year the cafcass officer said if I truly believed my daughter and I weren't safe as a result of contact then I had ever grounds to stop and go back to court and vary the order.. We won't get a hearing this side of the year though. I've known hearings get listed for April/May time next year.

OP posts:
Original poster
Incognito4 · 25/10/2021 20:41

And no, the police follow the jurisdiction you live in, so the investigation would get transferred to our county's police force.

OP posts:
MassiveHoard · 25/10/2021 20:45

Cooperate with the marac process, it'll all be on record then, he won't be able to claim you're alienating him. You need to use the evidence you've got. I know it's difficult but you should not retract statements that are true and evidential against him. Use the processes that are in place, that's why they're there.

Original poster
Incognito4 · 25/10/2021 20:47

The Marac referral was done by the police after I retracted my request to proceed with the report, I think they took one look at the history and decided I was at significant risk of harm.
My ex would murder me in cold blood if he ever found me, I have recurrent nightmares about it daily.
The police keep ringing me to pursue the report.

OP posts:
Littlepaws18 · 25/10/2021 20:53

You are not doing the things to make yourself and your child safe. If you don't follow through on domestic violence and death threat charges you won't have evidence to stop him from seeing her and you won't be able to get a restraining order.

I was in a domestic violence situation and took him to court over access. The only reason why the court decided indirect access was due to the fact I reported and followed through with every single incident, MARAC greatly assisted too. They ensured I never had to mediate and produced a report showing his negative impact. He is now fully out of our lives forever.

I know it's not easy, but if you keep dropping allegations it does make your case much weaker. And you are fully in your rights to stop contact centre contact if your life is in danger. But you can't prove this until you press charges.

You must must do this.

RandomMess · 25/10/2021 20:58

Can you also use this to get a new non-mol order?

Original poster
Incognito4 · 25/10/2021 20:58

You also don't take into account the courage it takes to report something, it took me several days to report as I was so terrified. I haven't made a statement yet, i just told them upon being told the report would be transferred to my local police force to deal with I realise that puts us in danger if that police force speak to him.
The Marac letter has been forwarded on now, so I'm not sure what it'll happen but hopefully it'll give me some grounds to prove that it's not safe.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 25/10/2021 23:25

If he's not shown up the last 2 times and the contact centre has been changed because of it, is it likely that he will show up at the new one ?

Regardless, surely the safest way to keep you and your daughter safe is to assist the police and hopefully them bringing charges against him?

Pinkyxx · 27/10/2021 08:37

I don't underestimate the courage it takes to report, however if you help the Police bring charges against him it will only help protect you and your child. If no charges are made, the court can't consider it. Even so the likelihood of a change of residence seems very unlikely, he can ask for whatever he wants it doesn't mean the court will grant it. That said his being prosecuted for making death threats makes it almost certain he'd never succeed. I understand it's very hard but you must find the courage to cooperate with the police. Also ask the police to confirm how they will safeguard your location.

Do you have a domestic violence worker? If not I'd suggest calling Women's Aid as they can help you.