My DH was named as joint executor on his parents will with his sibling as the other executor, however as he is now very geographically remote from where his DP's live they have taken him off and replaced him with a family friend who is more local and has experience dealing with probate.
This is a sensible practical choice, I hear dealing with things from a distance can be very difficult.
My concern is the fact that DH is estranged from his sibling. Some years ago there was an upset which was blown out of all proportion sadly by all parties involved failing to communicate and letting misunderstandings rule the day (it was like a ghastly game of chinese whispers). DH's sibling went NC on him (we tried to go and see them to try to make things better but they replied they didn't want to know) which we were surprised and saddened by but as they had never really been close assumed that they had 'let go' of the relationship relatively easily.
It recently came to light through relatives that the sibling still has a lot of animosity towards DH to the point that they were willing to boycott a significant family occasion because he would have been there. The occasion was cancelled as a result as the person whose occasion it was, was too upset by this to continue and made alternative plans.
We were surprised that after over a decade since the original upset the feelings the sibling carries are still so strong that they were willing to spoil this persons day.
It has made us realise that we just don't know the state of mind this person is in, and as such wonder if when their parents pass away whether they will still disperse the estate to their wishes.
Previous to this revelation I would have said that they would do as parents wished, but I also would have thought they would have been civil to DH for this relative for a day. It makes you realise that people can justify all kinds of surprising things to themselves.
Is it possible for an executor to abuse their position and run off with an inheritance intended for someone else? I know the family friend could be trusted but they may not be watchful for mishandling of affairs as they don't know the history of this upset. I know it is illegal to execute a will against the wishes of the deceased but presumably you have to get caught, so I'm wondering how open to abuse the system is?