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Help please.!

13 replies

Worldpeace123 · 28/09/2021 00:06

Just before lockdown a family friend rang after a long time of not having had contact and told me he was staying in a hotel and had just been bailed after an arrest for domestic violence.
I offered to accommodate him and there was talk of him contributing to rent.
To be brief, wherever I asked him.for rent/ keep,, he would give excuses often promises.
When his trial came up I gave him a good reference.
Anyway around Christmas he brought his mother to stay without informing me, at this point I asked him to leave.
He left some of his property behind. That was in January 2021.
Last week I asked him to come and collect his stuff and reminded him of the rent contribution.
He denied ever discussing or promising me money.
He now says I should put it in writing when he should collect his stuff failing which he is going to start CHARGING me for holding on to his stuff.
I'm distressed, my high blood pressure is up. I live alone and I'm scared.
What am I going to do? Sorry for the long post.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 28/09/2021 00:13

It's just ridiculous.Why on earth did you let him stay in the first place? Did you really think he hadn't done anything wrong?

Do you know where he or his mum live now? If you do then I would take his stuff over there and dump it. If he has a key to your place, change the locks.

If you are worried about security, invest in a CCTV camera.

HollowTalk · 28/09/2021 00:14

What was the result of the trial?

You have to accept you won't get any rent off him. There's no point hoping for that now.

NewIdeasToday · 28/09/2021 00:19

I’m afraid you’re an example of the saying ‘no good deed goes unpunished’.

You’re clearly not going to get any rent. So just forget that.

I suggest you email back. Make it clear that you’ve been storing his belongings on a goodwill basis since January. That goodwill is now exhausted. So he has till (next Saturday?) to remove his belongings or they’re going to the tip.

No need for anxiety. You hold all the cards here.

alexdgr8 · 28/09/2021 00:21

yes, get a ring doorbell, which alerts you when anyone approaches your door. you can see the pictures on a smartphone/ laptop.
don't worry. he is not a nice person.
do you have any big strong male friends/relatives. ask them to deal with him. arrange when he comes to collect, make sure your strong-arms are there, or to take his stuff round to him.
change locks of course.
don't blame yourself. he obviously conned his ex for long enough to get his feet under the table, before he revealed his bullying nature.
he's trying it on with you. just get rid of him. take his stuff and go.

Worldpeace123 · 28/09/2021 00:22

I don't want any money. I just want him to stop treating me like dirt.
I do regret taking him in. He was given probation but that's all I know.
I feel stupid and sick.
I was only being kind.

OP posts:
Worldpeace123 · 28/09/2021 00:31

Thank you all for the advice.
Much appreciated x

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 28/09/2021 11:18

You must really regret being a character witness for him. Has this made you rethink that?

Collaborate · 28/09/2021 12:10

You can't just send his stuff to the tip. That would be criminal damage and he sounds like the type to hold you to account for that.

Look up what you have to do under s14 (I think) of the Torts (Interference With Goods) Act. Landlords use it all the time for getting rid of tenants stuff. Look on Landlord's forums for further guidance.

Worldpeace123 · 28/09/2021 12:47

Oh my God yes. As a woman, I feel so so guilty, I can't begin to explain.

OP posts:
Worldpeace123 · 28/09/2021 12:52

Thank you. I will. This morning he fired off another email demanding an old computer (2000 version) that he gifted to my son. ( my son accepted out of politeness as he has his own modern stuff.)
We have recycled it. It's out of date for goodness sake.!
Now he's making it a big deal.
It's unreal!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2021 10:11

He’s an abusive shit who is acting like an abusive shit, not totally unexpected- or shouldn’t have been.
OP you have been beyond foolish and I am struggling to find any sympathy for you, I reserve that for whoever was on the receiving end of his domestic violence.
However, you have a child to keep safe so could you get a solicitor to write to him (might cost a few £) and tell him to leave you alone? You could actually threaten to charge him for storage.

Worldpeace123 · 30/09/2021 18:52

I know I've been stupid..
I will see a solicitor tomorrow( Friday.)

OP posts:
Strangeways19 · 18/10/2021 09:53

He was never a tenant, he was staying with you out of your goodwill. Cheek of him now causing you all of this distress. I'm sorry I have no words of wisdom but I'm sure he's being out of line. I do believe that if you give him a boundary as to when to collect his things, you can say either if you want this stored it will cost you x amount per week

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