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Original poster

Holiday abroad no contact father

18 replies

nancybotwinbloom · 05/09/2021 19:15

I have been on Holiday before with my Dd. We've been abroad.

Her dad had no contact with us.

I've never been stopped. Or asked questions. However reading on here suggests I have been lucky and Covid seems to have stepped up the security.

I have a different surname to my DD as we were married when she was born.

My Dd lives full time with me and her step father. For the last seven years.

If we book a holiday abroad next year, what can we do to not be refused to leave the uk. Or am I panicking about nothing.

Her dad is no contact so I can't get "permission" to take her on holiday.

OP posts:

delilahbucket · 05/09/2021 19:22

You can apply to the court for permission. I have a letter from DS's dad for holidays abroad, but in 11 years, holidaying abroad 1-2 times a year, the most I've had to show is his birth certificate confirming I'm his mum, and that has only ever been upon returning to the country, and just twice, and most likely because I offered to show it, I wasn't specifically asked. Never been asked anything when leaving.

Original poster

nancybotwinbloom · 05/09/2021 19:44

Same.

I've only ever been stopped on the way back and asked for her birth certificate which I always take abroad.

OP posts:

AdriannaP · 05/09/2021 19:52

My DC has a different surname and I often travel alone with her. I had a permission ready for entering the US but nobody asked for it. All I ever had to show upon re-entering the Uk was a copy of the birth certificate. In Italy they once asked where is her father and I said working in england.

Can you change her surname?

AdriannaP · 05/09/2021 19:53

For the US it was recommended on some government website but as I said I wasn’t asked for it. I am married to DC’s father so wasn’t a problem to get the permission signed but worst case wouldn’t be super hard to fake his signature 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster

nancybotwinbloom · 05/09/2021 20:03

@AdriannaP unfortunately not. We were married when she was born so he has PR.

Wild how that is when he's been no contact for years.

OP posts:

thinkfast · 05/09/2021 22:54

I have a different surname to my kids and have taken them abroad without DH before when he couldn't make it.

I was stopped both times when returning to UK. I had to show curry certificates, and letter from DH with his passport details confirming I had permission to travel.

On one occasion with DH I was stopped when returning to UK and berated by a passport official for not changing my surname when I married

thinkfast · 05/09/2021 22:55

Please also check the requirements of the country you are planning to travel to. Some are stricter than others.

tribpot · 05/09/2021 23:19

Same as other posters, I only ever get asked on my way into the UK. A copy of the birth certificate has always sufficed. I do carry a permission letter but have never been asked for it, even in the States. Do be careful, as @thinkfast says. Some countries are stricter than others, I think Canada and South Africa?

MimosaFields · 05/09/2021 23:57

@thinkfast , was that recently? How outrageous!

" On one occasion with DH I was stopped when returning to UK and berated by a passport official for not changing my surname when I married"

Branleuse · 06/09/2021 00:00

Ive only been questioned about it once on the ferry. I was not impressed. They ended up just questioning ds a bit and then let us through. Ive travelled loads of times with my kids with different surname and its always been fine. Youre their parent. You dont need permission

prh47bridge · 06/09/2021 00:27

If you have a court order naming you as someone with whom your daughter is to live, you can take her out of the country for up to one month.

If you do not have an order, you need either the father's consent or a court order to legally take your daughter out of the country.

Many people take their children out of the country without problems despite not having the necessary consent or court order. However, every year some people are refused boarding in the UK or refused entry at their destination.

MrsBertBibby · 06/09/2021 08:16

I suspect Brexit may mean more careful checks going into Europe. I certainly never got asked going into EU countries, and checks coming home are more about spotting traffickers than parental abductors.

They asked my son (3) "who's that lady?" One memorable time. Little sod looked me up and down and told them "I'm not really sure". Heart in mouth.

Luckily he's the spit of me, and my surname is one of his middle names, so they let us go.

Never ever letting him forget that one. Always travelled with the birth certificate since then.

South Africa is particularly stringent about having evidence of consent on entry, I am told.

gogohm · 06/09/2021 08:28

My dd was stopped at 17 going into Canada with me. Thankfully despite her being on an adult British passport I did carry a letter from her dad because I had been tipped off they were hot on it. We have the same last name

zippityzip · 06/09/2021 08:34

You don't need a court order or permission to take your child out of the country for two weeks. That's absurd - you really don't.

If you have different names then a birth certificate to prove you have PR is sufficient.

Irony is - my eldest daughter isn't my husbands. We changed her name years ago. Before we married and had different names I was often questioned (but never a problem). My husband has taken her away now they have the same name they are never questioned and he's not even got PR in the eyes of the law.

tribpot · 06/09/2021 08:40

Actually you do need permission from everyone with PR. Unless there is a child arrangement order in place. However, this isn't enforced in any logical way as you've observed - they just look for different surnames.

trumpisagit · 06/09/2021 08:46

Has anyone had problems with older children and different surnames?

Hopefully taking teens on holiday without DH. They have a different surname to me, but the same as each other. Are we likely to have any problems, on flights to Spain? As they are older I assumed it would be fine.

tribpot · 06/09/2021 14:59

My ds was 14 the last time we went through passport control @trumpisagit (i.e. before the pandemic) and we were asked then. My guess is they ask up to the age of 18.

prh47bridge · 06/09/2021 17:45

@zippityzip

You don't need a court order or permission to take your child out of the country for two weeks. That's absurd - you really don't.

If you have different names then a birth certificate to prove you have PR is sufficient.

You may think it is absurd, but you do. Child Abduction Act 1984. If you take a child under 16 out of the country without either the consent of everyone with PR or an appropriate court order you are committing a criminal offence. It is highly unlikely you would actually be prosecuted for the offence, but you may be refused boarding or refused entry at your destination.

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