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Ex holding my possessions since I left him - my rights and Police involved

4 replies

Pippa2675 · 29/08/2021 21:29

Hi, I am in desperate need of some advice really, to see if anyone has got some answers or been through this themselves in the hope I wont lose my mind!

I have only been with my ex since March 2021, known him a while, then I moved into his house, which he rents, since end of June 2021, I rented my own house out and moved all my stuff into his which was a 4 bed house, so you can imagine the amount of things which had to be moved etc. It felt right at the time and we were very happy.

Now, our relationship for me, resulted in too much ups and downs, verbal accusations, put downs, emotional trantrums whilst living with him (never say this coming) and to the stage where he made me feel worthless and always on edge. After a row last weekend, I decided for me it was best to just have some time out and leave, and he said that was fine and to give him space too. As far as I was concerned we both agreed we needed this. However since that time out, and staying at my parents, this has made me realise I want to be on my own now and not with him. To which after the week away from him he wanted to meet me to talk.

I have mentioned that I no longer want to be with him, as he wanted to meet up and talk to me, but he also mentioned he wanted to get married, and the conversations all over text from him was starting to feel very uneasy and not quite stable, to which for me i knew leaving was the right decision. I had a feeling he may turn nasty....

I have mentioned to him that i will be over this week to pack and arrange a removals to pick up my stuff to take away whilst he is away in Corfu to which he said, I am no longer allowed in the house, he will put my belongings in storage and he has changed the locks on the house too. He then gives me verbal abuse on texts telling me how awful I am etc etc....and I should never be with anyone and on it goes...re the locks, i am told he cant do this as its not his house for one and he then tells me to meet him to hand over the key for storage, which we know he has not done, as he has only just told me this after I left him and its only a matter of hours etc. So as you can see he is really unstable and erratic with his behaviour.

So it has now resulted in me calling the police, which they have informed me they are interested here in stepping in as he may be done for theft, as we are unsure if he will actually unpack my things and put this in storage, or just pre long and keep my things in the hope I cave in, there are a lot of belongings here as well as valuable goods too.

I have a call with the police this coming Tuesday to which I am hoping they may help/have an answer however when I mentioned I was going to meet him with my parents, I told the police this, my ex also said he wanted to talk to my dad which felt to me like he may ask for money, as we arent too sure what this guy's intentions are or the next move. The police informed us its best not to meet him full stop until I talk to a Sergeant this Tuesday.

Any advice, as I really hope i get my things back as cant afford to buy anymore and they are valuable to me as it will be illegal for him to keep as its under theft and hoping this does not go on for months or left hanging, fingers crossed it wont, now the police are potentially helping.

Thank you for reading, never had this before and genuinely now feel quite scared of him and out of control feeling this has now resulted in him controlling me with my belongings because I couldnt face him and was scared of him when we had a row, hence me getting out fast

OP posts:
LemonTT · 30/08/2021 10:32

All you have to do is follow the advice of the police. They will arrange a time and opportunity for you to attend the house and collect your belongings. There is no need for you or any of your family to meet with him.

If you owe him money for the time you lived there, then agree to pay it when he produces bills for the period up to when you left. That’s the only bit of business left to sort other than the removal of your belongings.

The police are willing to facilitate this because they expect there will be a disturbance if there is another confrontation.

Unless you are on the mortgage or a tenancy agreement you are unlikely to have any obvious rights to be in the property without his agreement or permission. But you do have a right to collect your belongings. The police will sort that out for you in a safe way.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 30/08/2021 10:35

Do as the police say

ComtesseDeSpair · 30/08/2021 11:38

I wouldn’t want an ex in my home whilst I was on holiday either. He has no idea whether you’ll trash the place or steal any of his belongings as some sort of revenge game.

The police will almost certainly tell you it’s a civil matter, to arrange a date with him when you can collect your things and return his keys, and agree to attend whilst you do so to prevent a breach of the peace. You don’t need to have your parents speak with him, you’re adults and it’s nothing to do with them.

Kinneddar · 30/08/2021 11:45

Surely the best advice you're going to get is from the Police tomorrow, not on here

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