Separation help please

[Givemecoffeeplease]

A friend of mine is in the process of separating from her partner - they are not married. They have two kids, 4&8. She’s from Denmark but has full residency rights here. She’s suffered from depression since the birth of her second child but is taking medication and undergoing therapy. Whilst she suffers from low mood, there has to my knowledge never been any question of her ability to parent her children. I think she’s a great mum.

Her partner is saying her behaviour is affecting the children and he wants to have sole parental rights. I know legally he can’t just take them away from her, but what can she do in this situation? They still live together so I’m urging her to get separate accommodation and sort out a parenting split. What’s the best way to do this? I want to give her hard advice - be it see a mediator, approach a lawyer etc, but I’m not sure what to advise. AIBU to ask for your help please? Financially, they can afford to separate, but she can’t afford expensive lawyers.

Legally, what are her rights? Practically, what are her next steps? The aim is a just and fair separation of assets and access. Thank you.

Parental rights are not removed from a Mother just because they are depressed. She has equal rights to her partner, assuming he is on the birth certificate of the children. If he's not, then he'd need to get parental responsibility. I would not recommend she leaves unless she has somewhere to go and can take the children, and care for them independently while ensuring they have regular contact with their Father. She should not be ashamed of her MH issues, rather be prepared to demonstrate she is taking positive steps to help herself and caring for the children appropriately. If her behaviour is impacting the children, it's important she take steps to minimise that impact.
As a first step they will be required to attend mediation with a view to agreeing childcare and financials. If agreement can't be reached it's up to one party to apply to court.

The court will consider it positive she is accessing help / treatment and may take a dim view of his trying to use her mental health. The question the court will look at is more does her depression present a risk of harm or impact her ability to care for the children or not? Are they safe? is she a suicide risk? Does her medication impact her - i.e drowsiness, sleeping a lot in the day, unable to wake at night for the children etc? They will do safeguarding checks, which will likely involve contacting her GP.

Either way, if she can afford to she'd be wise to consult a solicitor for advice and be very transparent.

Thank you Pinky!