Child custody-please help

[Happyfuturehope]

Hi everyone,
I am new here and hopefully could have as much of advices will be very much appreciated. I and my husband divorced back in March20 and we have a 6 years old toghether. Reason for ending the relationship is his drinking problem. He still doesn’t see it now and still blaming my mum as a master mind behind to make me ended the marriage. Anyway, i have been suffering for a very long time and finally got the courage to free my life after 12 years and thought my brighter days coming my way . Unfortunately, now still living hell. He comes up with all sort of mental tactics trying to make my life pain . Now is trying to take custody of our kid. I am working full time. Paying full package since the beginning of our relationship. He is a wheelchair person and has never worked .I know it sounds like he got no chance but he keeps reminding me that as working full time so i dont have more time with our son like he does so he is pretty confident he could take the boy . Does any mums loose custody of being full time working?
Just to name a fews , he called a social service in reporting me and even police came round. Our son was there luckily he is a happy boy didn’t affect him at all . He lied to them that I didnot let him use toilet/ kitchen, forced him out to live in the garden cabin . Luckily we have cctv showed he get in/out the house everyday . Even though we divorced but he is still living in the same house till now as he is waiting for the council house . His mind is not stable due to years of alcohol, trying to reason with him is impossible as he will forget the next day and something else could happen. His emotions change by the hours literally.
Sorry for the long post but i just need to let it out . 😢😢

No, you won't lose your child just because you work full time.

I agree with @prh47bridge.

Can you get some support from your GP, Citizen’s Advice or Women’s Aid.?

Or can you afford legal advice?

@JanFebAnyMonth

I agree with *@prh47bridge*.

Can you get some support from your GP, Citizen’s Advice or Women’s Aid.?

Or can you afford legal advice?

Thank you. Yes i can afford any legal advice. I have talked to 2 solicitors they all sure he wont win but i still have fear over him. I guess i have been this way over years of his threats. Thinking and worrying too much. He got his disabled card up his sleeves and he plays victim very well, even got the police came at 1am in the morning while i am sleeping, couldn’t get back to sleep after explaining to them the situation.Thankfully they seem to understand .You know, 1st social services then police i really dont know what next. Everyday, he sends me different messages warning authorities/court orders... Solicitor advice me to request a mediation to help. And i really dont mind to give him money. I even told him that 50k or even more if i have to . I just want this to end . But he keeps saying he doesn’t want my money all he cares is our son . But he is the one been feeding our son with toxic thinking like ‘ daddy will be homeless soon’. ‘ daddy is going to die alone’ ... he even got our son crying and waked up in the middle of the night thought his dad will be homeless and living in the road soon. I was even begging him not to do that as it pains me so to see our son being scared like that. He told me that is the truth and our son should know. Yesterday he even said he wont remarried for sure and i better do the same as i am the one ended our relationship causing all of that trouble so its all my fault . To be honest , start another relationship is the last thing on my mind at the minute. All i want just to have a peaceful life with my son not having to deal with his mental breakdown everyday after drinking.

Try and do the feedom programme, best in person but if that’s too difficult, the online version. It will help explain his behaviour and your reactions.

www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

“The Freedom Programme also describes in detail how children are affected by being exposed to this kind of abuse and very importantly how their lives are improved when the abuse is removed“

I'm not a legal person but I am someone who was once in your position OP and all I can say is try not to worry. All of his false referrals to police/social services are a gift to you. They are independent evidence of his irrational behaviour.

He sounds like he has mental health problems. I would cut communications as much as possible and let him take you to court personally. Let the courts decide what to do.

I wouldn't bother with the freedom programme it's based on ideology not science. You don't need to know the Duluth model to know he is using a victim narrative to control you.

Children have one mum and one dad, there are many aspects of my exs behaviour I would like to change but our daughter doesn't get to chose her parents.

I suspect mediation would be a waste of time.