Socail services stopped dad's contact, now he's taking me to court for access

[NagginMum]

Good morning,

I'm hoping I can get some advice from you all. I do apologise this is going to be a long one.

In 2019 my 8 year old disabled child, asd high ish functioning, was sent to school from his dad's with a black eye. He disclosed to school his dad had punched him in the face. At the time he spent 3 nights a week with his dad and step mum, we had a very amicable co parent relationship and I got on very well with them both, our son loved going and they helped massively with childcare in holidays also. I stopped contact straight away and socail services and the police became became involved. My sons dad decided not to take part in the parenting programmes or risk assessment and socail services closed the case writing on the report "child us at serious risk of harm in father's care."

In those 2 years since myself and my husband have been stalked and harrased by my sons dad relentlessly. With 2 non mol orders and now a court agreement in place. Although he was only ever arrested once after calling the police a total of 125 times in those 2 years, we have now moved a second time and feel he has calmed down.
My son is having counselling as his behaviour obviously went off track and he expresses he wants nothing to do with his dad. I have told him I will do everything I can to make sure he's safe and if he ever wanted to see his dad I would make sure it was done safely.

I received a few emails last year from his dad's solicitor wanting to arrange contact. The proposal was to see him while he was at school. I refused as this is a place he feels safe and I don't want him missing anymore education that he already has. I suggested his dad go back to socail services to complete the risk assessment and while this was ongoing we could see about video calls so that he could build a relationship with his son again. This was refused by them.

9 months on I have received an invite to mediation. I know his next step will be court as my stance will not change, for good reason.

My question is, will the courts just refer this back to socail services? Or will cafcass be the main point of contact in regards to my sons safety.

As you can imagine I'm really worried about my sons mental health, his safety and his emotional state. He's made great progress these last two years and I fear this will set him back. I also fear he will refuse point blank to attend any contact and I'm not going to force him kicking and screaming as I feel I'm the only parent he can trust right now, I'm not willing to damage my own relationship with him.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I also can not afford a solicitor nor do I qualify for legal aid (I think)

You seem to have done everything right so far. Social services are likely to be asked to do a report for the court and his refusal to undertake a risk assessment will count against him. I can't see how his application to the court can go any further if he won't do a risk assessment.

As Social Services have not been involved for some time, I think it's more likely that CAFCASS will do the report, but they will first get all the info from SS, so Dad's refusal to cooperate will be recorded.

No one is going to expect you to use physical force to get your son to see his dad, if he won't go willingly.

You would be able to get legal aid if you are financially eligible, as you have had non mols, but you have to be on a v low income, or benefit. There is an online eligibility checker.

All that you have posted here sounds very child-focussed and intelligent, if I may say so, so I don't think the court or CAFCASS will have any real issue with you.

Good luck.

Thank you both, I'm not usually this shaken but it's really consumed my day.

I will look into legal aid thank you