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Legal matters

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Original poster

Court/cao

12 replies

PumpkinKlNG · 30/07/2021 10:37

I wanted to go to court to get a CAO my ex has no involvement with our children so it’s mainly for holidays so I can go away without his permission but will this open up a possibility for contact and would he have to attend or be asked to?

OP posts:

prh47bridge · 30/07/2021 11:50

It may trigger him to apply for contact. There are no guarantees. He must be informed of your application and be given the chance to object.

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 30/07/2021 12:47

Argh thank you that’s what I worried about ☹️

OP posts:

GettingItOutThere · 02/08/2021 21:47

you can go out of the country for upto 28 days without his permission

dont poke it! leave well alone

prh47bridge · 02/08/2021 22:21

@GettingItOutThere

you can go out of the country for upto 28 days without his permission

dont poke it! leave well alone

If he has PR this is only true if she has a CAO stating that her children live with her. If she does not have a CAO she would be committing a criminal offence if she took her children out of the country without either his consent or a court order.

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 03/08/2021 00:40

No that’s not true GettingItOutThere he is on the birth certificate so I need his permission. Hence me asking about a CAO, I’m already aware of the laws on it as I looked into it and without it I do need his permission which is why I was thinking of a CAO but I don’t want it to open up contact as he is a rubbish dad and has never bothered with them so I don’t really want him to suddenly claim to want contact

OP posts:

Yahtze · 03/08/2021 03:47

Honestly if you share a last name I'd just go. I've never been asked to show proof I can take my DC out of the country. It's such a small risk. It's a far bigger risk that he'd fight you.

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 03/08/2021 11:56

It’s double barrelled that’s the trouble

OP posts:

ThisMustBeMyDream · 08/08/2021 18:21

Can you ask him to write a letter?
I went away 2 years ago with my two. Same situation with their father. I decided not to poke the hornets nest. I wasn't questioned.
My middle one was asked when he was 2 was I his mummy when we returned from Switzerland. I found that odd. Also, he had delayed language so didn't have a clue what he was saying yes to (and he could have easily have said no, or other random word!). But never anything else beyond that.

QueenBee52 · 08/08/2021 18:48

What are the chances of him asking for Contact OP.. is it too big a risk ?

Original poster

PumpkinKlNG · 09/08/2021 02:24

I don’t know, he contacts me once a year asking for contact sees them for a few months then decides not to bother again, it’s almost become a pattern so I’m worried about getting anything in writing especially since he wouldn’t take me to court so I would basically be doing him a favour and getting contact in writing even though he barely bothers with them but if he disappears for a year again I would have to let him see them when he decides to swan back in because it’s in the court order, he hasn’t seen them since January. And before that it was a year with no contact. I think I’m going to leave it I will just have to take the risk of being stopped, not going to ask for a letter as I’m not in contact with him and want to keep it that way. I’ve heard people aren’t usually stopped but I know what my luck is like!

OP posts:

QueenBee52 · 09/08/2021 03:16

Yes that sounds pretty shabby... and understand what you are saying...

I wouldn't risk it either ...

However I wouldn't avoid taking them on holiday.. you have return tickets, its not like your going home to a former resident country or anything ..

I take my kids overseas regularly., my DH is overseas working .. nobody bats an eyelid at my travelling without him with our kids. 🌸

Wolframhart · 09/08/2021 03:32

@ThisMustBeMyDream

when we returned from Switzerland. I found that odd. Also, he had delayed language so didn't have a clue what he was saying yes to (and he could have easily have said no, or other random word!). But never anything else beyond that.

The asking kids who is your mom is normal. They ask little kids to point to mom or dad or verbal kids to say who they are with even if traveling with both parents. You definitely see it if you are traveling but not crossing a border that requires id for the child. It’s a way to check that the kid is with someone they at least seem to trust.

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