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Original poster

6 year old son collided with car

316 replies

SaviTavi · 28/07/2021 19:02

A woman is trying to bill us for damage to her car after she was coming out of a cul de sac and collided with my 6 year old son on his friends bike. She was coming straight on (was luckily slowing down) and my son collided into the side of her car.
She claims she didn't see him despite seeing him and his friend playing as she went into the cul de sac and thinks we should pay for the damage to the side of her car to stop her insurance increasing. While I was sympathetic because she uses her car for work (and was driving away from a job) my son was Injured from the handle bars hitting his chest and I took him to A&E to get checked over. He's got minor bruising. The woman has been rather cheeky and messaged half an invoice of "damage estimates" which have been hand written and have no header from a garage. My son dented the wing panel and the handle bars have scratched the passenger door. These estimates are from a family friends garage.
She's not reported the incident to the police but is demanding we pay. She hurt my son and I'm cross she's trying to get about 400 quid from us.
Legally do we have to pay?

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 28/07/2021 21:59

have said previously up thread I'd pay using a payment plan if that was a viable option

If you admit blame, shouldn’t you be telling this poor woman you’re sorry and stop blaming her for ‘hurting’ your son?’

CakeWarrior · 28/07/2021 21:59

I think this thread is pointless. You have asked and an overwhelming majority have said yes... you should pay. And how would you feel if the situation reversed. But regardless you reply with answers staying you wont. So why ask? Many of us have given you sound advice. But its the usual MN;
Op - AIBU
Posters - YES
OP - well i don't like that answer.

Oh and YES. I HAVE been on the bones of my arse. But that didn't make my morals disappear. Home insurance can be as little as £5-10 per month. Thats less than a mcdonalds... pack of cigarettes... or a takeaway. Are you fairly young op? It doesnt sound as though you have life experience or financial planning that comes with experience. Im not being harsh, im just pointing out a fact. You will probably get out of this one, but i am a believer in Karma and some point in your life the shoe will be on the other foot.

FenceSplinters · 28/07/2021 22:00

Tell her to get her insurance company to contact you.

JustCallMeBubblesDahling · 28/07/2021 22:01

Well for a start you should be thanking the universe that your DS was not more seriously injured and that you got off lightly.

A 6 year old should not be on any bike on any road, cul de sac or not, without an adult closely supervising. It’s gobsmacking that it’s taken an incident like this to see that!

We had a similar incident, although my DS was 16. He caused the incident so we checked the damage, and that the quote was correct, and paid it. It was the right thing to do.

Why should someone else be out of pocket due to your negligence after all?

If she goes through her insurance, you should pay her excess at least although that will bump up her premium so I can see why she wouldn’t want to do that.

If you will have issues paying, explain your situation to her and ask to come to some agreement, instalments perhaps.

Original poster
SaviTavi · 28/07/2021 22:02

@CakeWarrior

I think this thread is pointless. You have asked and an overwhelming majority have said yes... you should pay. And how would you feel if the situation reversed. But regardless you reply with answers staying you wont. So why ask? Many of us have given you sound advice. But its the usual MN; Op - AIBU Posters - YES OP - well i don't like that answer.

Oh and YES. I HAVE been on the bones of my arse. But that didn't make my morals disappear. Home insurance can be as little as £5-10 per month. Thats less than a mcdonalds... pack of cigarettes... or a takeaway. Are you fairly young op? It doesnt sound as though you have life experience or financial planning that comes with experience. Im not being harsh, im just pointing out a fact. You will probably get out of this one, but i am a believer in Karma and some point in your life the shoe will be on the other foot.

Wow, I can assure you my money isn't going on cigarettes and takeaways. It's feeding, clothing and keeping a roof over me and my children's heads as it should. I'm 30, not some young kid. I've never been in this situation before.
OP posts:
Justajot · 28/07/2021 22:05

Just tell her to deal with it through her insurance and block her from directly contacting you. She probably won't get anywhere with it, but if she does then dealing with her insurance will probably be easier for you as she sounds a bit dodgy.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 28/07/2021 22:05

And now you have the information
I can't give it, if I don't have it.
I have said previously up thread I'd pay using a payment plan if that was a viable option.

Fine. So you can find money to pay in instalments. Problem solved.

101spacehoppers · 28/07/2021 22:08

OP, they'd have to prove you were legally negligent. That's very difficult to do. It's perfectly reasonable that a 6yo would be cycling or playing in a cul de sac. 6yos are, by the way, perfectly entitled to ride on the road as well. Really. Seriously, forget about it. If you drive a car (and I do as well as cycle) you accept it might get damaged. That's why you have insurance.

WetWeekends · 28/07/2021 22:09

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross

You don’t have contents insurance? What happens in the event of a burglary or a fire? You’ll need more than £400 to fix that!
Jesus, people have no fucking clue do they? Come on OP you must be able to magic up the money for the damage, plus each month for contents insurance and don’t forget your rainy day fund now will you Confused
WetWeekends · 28/07/2021 22:12

@Howshouldibehave

have said previously up thread I'd pay using a payment plan if that was a viable option

If you admit blame, shouldn’t you be telling this poor woman you’re sorry and stop blaming her for ‘hurting’ your son?’

WTF does ‘hurting’ mean? The OP might’ve been more sympathetic to the driver if she’d seemed at all bothered about her son’s injuries FFS!
youkiddingme · 28/07/2021 22:12

I don't know where abouts you are from but it's perfectly normal in our street for all the kids to ride their bikes together outside especially during the holidays. There was about 7 of them in a group ranging from 5 to 11 years old

It's irrelevant whether it's normal. Your child couldn't control the bike. Instead of running into the side of someone's car he could have ended up under it. Or a lorry.

JaniceBattersby · 28/07/2021 22:17

@CakeWarrior

I think this thread is pointless. You have asked and an overwhelming majority have said yes... you should pay. And how would you feel if the situation reversed. But regardless you reply with answers staying you wont. So why ask? Many of us have given you sound advice. But its the usual MN; Op - AIBU Posters - YES OP - well i don't like that answer.

Oh and YES. I HAVE been on the bones of my arse. But that didn't make my morals disappear. Home insurance can be as little as £5-10 per month. Thats less than a mcdonalds... pack of cigarettes... or a takeaway. Are you fairly young op? It doesnt sound as though you have life experience or financial planning that comes with experience. Im not being harsh, im just pointing out a fact. You will probably get out of this one, but i am a believer in Karma and some point in your life the shoe will be on the other foot.

Love how you assume because the OP is on UC she lives off McDonald’s, cigarettes and takeaways FFS. And the patronising ‘are you quite young?’

You can’t get blood out of a stone. I’m not really sure where those suggesting the OP pays up are expecting her to actually get the money given she says she’s got 54p.

When you have a car, unfortunately sometimes you have to pay for the insurance excess when you haven’t done anything wrong. I had a pheasant go into my car and cause damage and hit a pothole that should have been filled in but the council weren’t deemed responsible as they had only been told about it a week earlier.

It sucks, but that’s life.

FATEdestiny · 28/07/2021 22:18

@SpiderinaWingMirror

You are asking if you are legally liable. I dont think you are. Tell her you do not have the money. You cannot find it in the future. She will need to go to her insurers.
This

I was the driver in a similar situation.

Teenager (15 1/2 year old) ran at speed out from between two parked cars to a bus that was stopped on the opposite side of the road. He ran directly into the passenger side door of my car as I was driving along. Huge dent in door and wing. Big lad, running fast, he simply didn't "Stop, Look, Listen" and ran into me.

There was a few witnesses. Police attended, no action taken by police (on the basis that the sent was side, not front).

2 1/2 years later, I get a solicitors letter for one of those "Have you had an accident on the last 3 years that wasn't your fault?". Lad is 18 now, chasing compensation. I wrote a letter in reply stating an over-inflated estimate of costs and stating that if this claim went ahead, I would counter claim with my insurance company.

Case dropped. This was about 15 years ago.

Tell the driver to go through her own drivers insurance. They will soon see it's not worth pursuing.

Whatafool123 · 28/07/2021 22:21

I don't think this is a moral issue. Car owners have insurance for a reason. Accidents happen and little children, unlike adults, cannot be held responsible for things like this. If you had hit her, that might be different, although we were rear ended by a cyclist a while back and claiming for damage was the last thing on our minds! . She should claim from her insurance. You don't need to be rude obviously but tell her that is what she should do. Ring Citizens Advice to get chapter and verse first maybe if you want something to back up what you are saying?

Do try to get some sort of home insurance if you can though. There are all sorts of reasons why it is advisable, not least the legal cover, and if you pay in instalments, can be affordable.

Whatafool123 · 28/07/2021 22:23

Sorry. Ignore the bit about getting insurance. I see from other posts that is probably unrealistic at the moment.

meow1989 · 28/07/2021 22:24

Firstly, I'm so glad your son is OK. It's so terrifying when our kids are hurt and even more so when it could have potentially been so much worse Flowers

I understand that subjectively, you say that you cannot afford to pay for the repairs. I don't know about legally but from what other posters have said it would be difficult to pursue you for payment.

However, objectively, she was legally driving her car and your son has damaged her property. If he went into the side I can't really see what you think she was meant to do (and if she had slowed down more surely that would have meant she was more likely to hit him head on?). I think morally it is your responsibility to pay. I do honestly sympathise with your financial situation but that's not her fault. The payment plan option seems worth pursuing?

Original poster
SaviTavi · 28/07/2021 22:26

@Whatafool123

Sorry. Ignore the bit about getting insurance. I see from other posts that is probably unrealistic at the moment.
If my career prospects change I will look into this. It's not something that's been a priority but could be in the future. I've never been offered it through the bank because they know how poor my credit is and I have a basic account. I don't even have an overdraft (which is probably for the best).
OP posts:
CakeWarrior · 28/07/2021 22:31

I didn't state thats what the OP spent money on... i was comparing the low cost of a vital home need such as insurance to things that are so frequently purchased by people without a second thought to show it can be done by a few tweaks. No i wasnt being patronising. I was asking a question as whatever people reply with, the OP does not wish to hear or is posting contradicting replies where one post she admits she should pay, then in another she doesn't. I was trying to clarify as these type of posts can cone from people with less life experience. Yes we pay for insurance, but then its a lump sum excess then 5 years of increased premiums - even when not at fault due to making a claim. I have had it happen to me and its disgraceful. So no... it isn't that cut and dried and yes... morals come into this... as does financial planning, such as taking advice to get an alternative quote and pay the garage in instalments directly.

JellyBabiesFan · 28/07/2021 22:33

@PepeSilviaDoesNotExist

My colleague was hit side on by a bike causing over £1000 damage. Bikes do not have insurance so you can’t claim against them. He is now at risk of having a personal injury claim from the cyclist and all he did was turn into a junction

This is not strictly correct. What you should have said is bikes are not legally required to have insurance. I commute by bike and I do have insurance, very good insurance at that.

Now back to the OP. The chance of the car owner winning a case against you or your child for negligence is almost zero. However that does not absolve your son of blame. Based on the description of events this is his fault in my opinion. So the simple answer to your question is this

If you are a decent person then offer to pay for the damage caused. £400 for side panel damage is very cheap.
If you are not a decent person tell them to go away

Indoctro · 28/07/2021 22:33

Driver pays through insurance end of. That the law.

Indoctro · 28/07/2021 22:36

Also you should have reported this to the police, a minor was hit by a car. Doesn't matter the circumstances, a child was hit so it's a police matter.

Herecomesthesun70 · 28/07/2021 22:36

OP please don't worry about her insurer coming after you. They won't.

If her repairs are £400 it's likely it's not worth her claiming anyway. Excesses can be high.
If she reports it to her insurer they'll set it up as a vulnerable road user claim which will stay open for a couple of years. She'll be penalised for years to come. I don't blame her for not wanting to go through them.

However if you can't afford it then just tell her. Apologise and explain your situation but offer to pay a little each month. She might appreciate the gesture and just write it off or will agree.

VeniVidiWeeWee · 28/07/2021 22:37

Isn't this legal, not auburn?

JellyBabiesFan · 28/07/2021 22:37

I get universal credit once a month it covers my housing costs, bills and just about our food. I can't just spend 400 quid on things. I don't understand how other people find this difficult to understand. I have 54p to my name

But you find money for phones, ipad, television

VeniVidiWeeWee · 28/07/2021 22:37

For auburn read aibu.