I am awaiting a phone call from a solicitor but I was just wondering if anyone could offer any advice until then because quite honestly it’s driving me mad…
To give some background, my ex is a serial domestic abuser. He was granted supervised contact by Family Court, 3 hours every other Sunday.
As of December last year, my ex decided to move to South Africa under the belief ‘the UK Government had failed him (because he didn’t get the level of contact he wanted and was banned from driving for 20 months for a 2nd drink driving conviction) and he had no choice but to move to South Africa to live a happy life.
Since he’s moved out there, there’s been one video call, one maintenance payment and requests for pictures and nothing else. The relationship between them is now non existent. My problem is however that I firmly believe my ex is mentally unstable as he truly believes that despite 8 Domestic Abuse charges, he’s not an abuser and has never done anything wrong.
I had a Restraining Order granted after he assaulted me with whilst our 10 month old daughter at the time was on my knee. Part of the order was not to contact me however that order expired in April of this year. He messaged my Mum this weekend (as she previously supervised the contact between my ex and daughter) asking for my number as ‘the wrongful restraining order is now defunct’ I presume to continue the half arsed contact.
My fear all along that at some point this delusional behaviour is going to impact on my daughter. We have messages from him stating that he believes there will come a time where our daughter will think the decisions I’ve made to keep her safe are wrong and she’s going to want to live with him.
Since contact was granted in Nov 2019, we have had nothing but emotional abuse and grief from him. We could have had him charged with harassment at the end of last year but my Mum was too frightened in case he kicked off because she was still supervising contact at this point.
I was told by the National Domestic Abuse hotline that he was now breaching the Child Arrangement Order as it’s for physical contact only which he can’t fulfil with being abroad so I should contact the court, make them aware of the situation and then just block my ex.
I need someone to finally say that this can’t go on. It just seems so unfair to me and my family to have to put up with this.