Parental Responsibility for unmarried step-parent

[AlterForThis]

I'm currently trying to divorce xh (removed from family rented home by court order following domestic abuse).

He only pays for the kids due to the CMS deducting from his UC, is staying on UC to pay the minimum, hasn't seen or even called the kids in almost 18 months and has disappeared so I couldn't serve divorce papers on him.

I'm currently awaiting a judge's decision on whether or not I can be allowed my decree nisi otherwise I will have to wait out the full 5 years. Should have a response in the next month or so on that. It's an extension of the domestic abuse - he told me when removed from the house I would never be free of him. So I'm hoping the judge's decision goes my way.

Partner has been living with us for over a year. He wants to take responsibility for the kids in that if something happened at school or college or they needed medical treatment and I wasn't around he could be an emergency contact or consent to treatment. We would absolutely be getting married if I was divorced now but I don't know how long it's all going to take.

The kids all want this too.

Is there any way partner can apply for pr? The biggest issue is finding xh as he has disappeared deliberately - getting his consent is almost impossible.

Is there anything we can do?

Not stand alone PR - you have to be married to the parent for that.

Shared lives with order would see automatic PR being granted for as long as the lives with order lasts.

Not after only a year. There is usually a minimum amount of time but it varies, they prefer the couple to be married, and it’s usually via adoption.

you can speak directly to the school/college naming them as an adult who you would like the admin teams to contact in case of emergency if they are not able to contact you.

if you have the proof that he's trying to remove himself from yours and DCs lives, then the judge should be able to advise on that further

The judge has already agreed to alternative service (via email) of the petition as he found that xh was deliberately hiding where he was living to frustrate the process. I'm hoping this will help.

For clarity we have been together two years but he's only lived with us a year to give the kids time to adjust.

If I was able to get my divorce and remarry would that be looked on more favourably? I'm going to do as suggested with the schools, it's more a health issue as more than one of my kids has complex health needs and the likelihood of emergency treatment being required is high. It's just something my partner worries about. Not that I'm often difficult to contact I'm not but he just worries.

It's not a question of being looked on more favourably. The court has literally no power to award him standalone PR unless he's married to you.

It needs to be in the child's best interest, and from your last post it seems that you may well have a case.