Can you just sign or change one half of mirror wills?

[AutoGroup]

DH is seriously ill, probably wouldn't be considered to have capacity to change his will now.

We have mirror wills making each other plus our eldest DS as executors signed a year ago.

Ds2 is now 18 and we had drawn up new wills to include him as executor. Nothing else has changed.

It doesn't really matter for DH's will. Provided nothing happens to me before he dies (soon) there will still be two of us to deal with his will and DS2 will understand why it was done this way.

I'm less comfortable with the idea of DS1 being the sole executor for me, to the exclusion of DS2. Not because I have any concerns but it just doesn't seem right.

So, if I sign my half of the new mirror will to add DS2, will that have any impact on DH's current will?

Or, can I sign it after DH's death even though it names DH (plus DS1 & DS2) as executor?

Or, can I just do an addendum to add a new executor after the death of one named?

Sorry to hear about your DH. You can sign your new Will now, it won’t impact on your DH’s Will.

One quick point though... my late FIL made DH and his brother joint executor of his will. Caused all sorts of hassle. Realistically it's best for one person to be in charge (DH managed everything) BUT as they were joint executors they both had to sign all the paperwork (witnessed at great expense and faff ) plus all cheques and monies owed to the estate were made out to both of them. As they don't have a joint bank account(!) in order to pay the cheques in it needed both of them at the bank with ID.
You can still make sure the money is distributed equally without the faff of both of them doing it...

Mirror wills have no legal intertwining, it is a way to get two wills drawn up for less than they would be individually as they 'mirror' each other so are less work.
After your DH passes away, you would be well advised to draw up a new will anyway.

@TeenMinusTests

Mirror wills have no legal intertwining, it is a way to get two wills drawn up for less than they would be individually as they 'mirror' each other so are less work. After your DH passes away, you would be well advised to draw up a new will anyway.

Why, if there are no changes?

Well not if there are no changes.
(People often leave the bulk of their assets to their spouses is what I was thinking.)

Mirrors wills usually account for the first and second death though. So yes, everything to each other on the first death, but there are provisions for the second death also.

@glassfloor

One quick point though... my late FIL made DH and his brother joint executor of his will. Caused all sorts of hassle. Realistically it's best for one person to be in charge (DH managed everything) BUT as they were joint executors they both had to sign all the paperwork (witnessed at great expense and faff ) plus all cheques and monies owed to the estate were made out to both of them. As they don't have a joint bank account(!) in order to pay the cheques in it needed both of them at the bank with ID. You can still make sure the money is distributed equally without the faff of both of them doing it...

I appreciate it was more complex having both brothers as executors but it made sure everything was dealt with in the open.

Having had one sibling as executor I was completely excluded from the process and repeatedly told legally you are not entitled to know anything. I know that is not what my DM would have wanted and added to my grief.

I am sorry your DH is so ill. I agree you can’t do anything about his will if he does not have capacity to sign. Please treat your DS equally and have them both as executor of your new will.

@AutoGroup

Mirrors wills usually account for the first and second death though. So yes, everything to each other on the first death, but there are provisions for the second death also.

I think you're thinking of "mutual" wills which are a whole different kettle of fish and rarely used.

TeenMinusTests is right.

I feel quite sorry for family executors as invariably one does all the work while the other(s) sign the odd form, sit back nitpicking and wait for the money.

Believe me, it's not an honour, it can be a total PITA and an 18 year old isn't generally mature enough to deal with it.

My sympathies for you and your DH

Fair points both. I think this is probably a case where judgement and knowing the people involved needs to be used. We had DH (sensible, meticulous, detail orientated, lives in London, works in finance) plus DHs brother (great fun, not sensible, lives in Wales and left an envelope full of original documents needed for probate in a Tesco carrier bag round at a tinder date's house as he got "sidetracked on the way to the solicitor" 😃)
Perhaps ours is an extreme case.....

I an see having more than one executor can make practicalities more difficult and in some ways I regret having added DS1, it would be better to do it in ny own, but I can't leave it as DS1 alone and not add DS2. I don't think that's fair on either of them.

I agree they're both too young really, but hopefully it won't be needed for some time (I'm only 51) and in reality, if it happened soon my dad would do the leg work for them. It seems daft to name him though.

I do dread being executor for my parents. My dad seems to be on a mission to make things a complicated as possible but he's determined he won't name a solicitor who will take up to 2%...

@AutoGroup having more than one executor is fine. It doesn’t really make things more difficult unless the executors don’t get on or live abroad etc.

DS1 doesn’t have to act under DH’s Will, he can ‘renounce’ and leave it up to you if that’s what you prefer. On first death, generally speaking, most assets between spouses tend to pass automatically rather than under the Will as spouses usually own houses jointly as joint tenants, joint bank accounts etc. so depending on your assets, you might not need to get probate.

Regarding your own Will, I would recommend having both sons in there as executors unless there was a strong reason not to.

In respect of your parents, the best thing they can do for you is get all their paperwork in order and talk you through what they own etc so when the time comes, you know what you’re dealing with. You can instruct a solicitor to help you if you need to, they don’t have to be named as an executor.

@StCharlotte mirror wills are where husband and wife execute wills usually leaving everything to each other on first death and there’s provision in there for second death (usually between children). They’re not binding though so the survivor can change their Will at any time. Mutual Wills are intended to be binding so theoretically the survivor can’t make changes.

BUT as they were joint executors they both had to sign all the paperwork

@glassfloor

There are ways round this without having anyone left out.

Executors can choose to 'reserve' their powers. This means that they are happy to leave it to the remaining executor(s) but reserve their power incase they don't like how things work out.

We did this, DM and DSis and I all names as my father's executors, they reserved, I did all the actual work. They were happy with how I kept them up to date so all was good.

I do dread being executor for my parents. My dad seems to be on a mission to make things a complicated as possible but he's determined he won't name a solicitor who will take up to 2%...

@AutoGroup
Your father is well advised to not name a solicitor as executor. This still leaves the executors free to employ whichever solicitors they want do fo the actual work. The costs would be paid out of the estate.

It is near impossible to remove solicitors who are appointed as executors, rather than employed to do the work by the actual executors.

Over time, all sorts can of things could change in a solicitors appointed as executors which might make them no longer suitable. Leaving it to the executors means that they can appoint whichever firm is most convenient.

All good really, please don't worry.

Appoint both sons as executors so neither is left out.

After all, a nominated executor is not obliged to take on the role,if they do not want to do so.

And there is no need for both to sign everything as the ‘power reserved’ route @FinallyHere refers to is a neat solution

We also used the 'powers reserved' with my PIL. DH did all the work because he'd been managing finances for them under POA before and his siblings stood back (rather like they had for the previous few years )

You could also do a codicil tomorrow just to add the other child as your additional executor ( Have all 5 adult children as mine and they inherit equally and I am certainly all 5 will sort out which does the work at the time as they get on). As with the poster above when my father died I , a lawyer, did the work in agreement with my 2 siblings who were also executors