Power of attorney, access to relative in hospital

[Linnet]

What rights do you have as a power of attorney? Dh has poa for his dad as does his stepmother.

His dad, (fil) was taken to hospital two weeks ago after suffering a brain bleed. His wife, dh’s step mother (sm) called to let us know that he’d been taken to hospital and was having surgery. He was then put into an induced coma, although sm says the medication for that has been stopped so we think he’s out of the induced coma but she hasn’t told us that he’s woken up.

She has told dh and his uncle, fil’s brother, that they are not allowed to contact the hospital and that all updates will come from her. But we feel that we’re not getting all the information.

Dh and his uncle want to go to the hospital and visit fil but we’re worried that sm will block them from visiting. Fil is in London, uncle is in north of England and we are in Scotland so this would mean time off work and travel.

Since dh has power of attorney can he insist that he be allowed in to visit his dad? Sm gets to go in and sit and talk to fil, we think for a certain amount of time each day although we’re not sure how long as she won’t tell us, dh would like a chance to do this too as would his uncle.

Is this something that poa can be used for if sm insists that he can’t go in?

I appreciate that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and the hospital may only be allowing one visitor at all but dh is so very worried, as are we all and would just like to visit his dad.

Has dh tried actually ringing the hospital? That would be my first port of call. If they tell him that his sm has told them not to pass on any info I’d then tell them you have a POA. (Tim assuming it’s a Health and Welfare one?)

Which ward is he in? When DM had heart surgery she was in ICU for a while and they asked for one person to contact and one person to visit (and this was pre COVID times).

The hospital staff don't have time to get involved with updating multiple family members so usually ask for a single point of contact, which would normally be a spouse. I think we've all been there when hearing updates 2nd hand is frustrating if you want more information or to ask different questions directly. Those feelings are normal.

Visiting could be tricky, our local hospital is still only allowing one fixed named visitor to certain wards and are rigid with that unless nothing else can be done and it is end of life situation. This is to protect patients.

The poa is shared between your dad's wife and dh, unless he has discussed with your dad and he wants himto override his wife in medical situations she is the primary contact and he needs to work with her and gently ask for more info or questions he would like raised asked without becoming overbearing.

My dad was in hospital recently (emergency admission) and he was allowed one prebooked visitor for one hour a day. It would seem unlikely that anyone other than your SM could visit just now.

Are you saying that your FIL has two POA? Your DH and the SM?

@Soontobe60

Has dh tried actually ringing the hospital? That would be my first port of call. If they tell him that his sm has told them not to pass on any info I’d then tell them you have a POA. (Tim assuming it’s a Health and Welfare one?)

No he hasn’t tried phoning the hospital, his uncle did and the sm got really cross. I can see why the hospital don’t want a million different relatives phoning up ten times a day for updates as they are busy but the sm isn’t sharing info and he just wanted to check on his brother.

@ineedaholidaynow

Which ward is he in? When DM had heart surgery she was in ICU for a while and they asked for one person to contact and one person to visit (and this was pre COVID times).

Fil is in ICU at the moment. We understand that the hospital don’t want to have loads of people traipsing in and out but wondered if it would be allowed for his son to visit him or if the sm could still say no.

@WeAllHaveWings

The hospital staff don't have time to get involved with updating multiple family members so usually ask for a single point of contact, which would normally be a spouse. I think we've all been there when hearing updates 2nd hand is frustrating if you want more information or to ask different questions directly. Those feelings are normal.

Visiting could be tricky, our local hospital is still only allowing one fixed named visitor to certain wards and are rigid with that unless nothing else can be done and it is end of life situation. This is to protect patients.

The poa is shared between your dad's wife and dh, unless he has discussed with your dad and he wants himto override his wife in medical situations she is the primary contact and he needs to work with her and gently ask for more info or questions he would like raised asked without becoming overbearing.

Thanks for that, I totally agree the hospital staff don’t have time to update everyone ten times a day and I agree with that. The problem is sm is not giving us info and any questions we have are rebuffed and she won’t answer the phone to the uncle when he tries to call her. We know and understand that she is very worried and stressed but we are all worried and would just like to be kept in the loop.

Hospitals don't have time to update multiple family members.

However if your DH has POA for Health and Welfare, the hospital absolutely need to know this as if FIL has lacked capacity, your DH should have been making all the decisions and not SM.

If on the other hand your DH has POA for Finance only, hospital doesn't care about that in the slightest.

If the hospital are stipulating one visitor (and that doesn’t just mean one visitor at a time, but the same person visiting) and the SM is visiting, then I assume no.

When DM was in hospital only my DF phoned and visited. Once she moved ward I could then visit, although they stipulated one at a time as she was moved to HDU so we alternated the days we visited. But this was pre-COVID, so probably more strict now.

@ChicChaos

My dad was in hospital recently (emergency admission) and he was allowed one prebooked visitor for one hour a day. It would seem unlikely that anyone other than your SM could visit just now.

Are you saying that your FIL has two POA? Your DH and the SM?

Sorry to hear about your dad ChicChaos, I hope he’s ok now.

Yes dh and sm both have power of attorney, is that unusual?

Do they have to act jointly on the POA, or can they act individually? It is not uncommon to have more than one person acting on the POA (DH and I are both on my DM’s) and you can set them up that one person can make a decision or it has to be joint.

Good grief I would phone the hospital no matter what had been said to me for one of my parents. We often did when they were in hospital - I don't think we would have been told if one of our siblings had called either, so the SM may never even know. A phone call asking for an update first, from a son in another country - hard to see how that would be refused unless something very unusual is going on. I'd get the info first before asking about visiting.

@Iggi999

Good grief I would phone the hospital no matter what had been said to me for one of my parents. We often did when they were in hospital - I don't think we would have been told if one of our siblings had called either, so the SM may never even know. A phone call asking for an update first, from a son in another country - hard to see how that would be refused unless something very unusual is going on. I'd get the info first before asking about visiting.

The hospital must have told the sm after the uncle called as she then informed everyone that the hospital would only speak to her as his wife and next of kin, which i understand to an extent, and that there was a password to use to be sure it was her so nobody else would be given information.

Because sm is the only one there and we’ve been told the hospital won’t speak to anyone else we don’t want to rock the boat too much in case she stops telling us anything at all.

I’m going to get dh to look out all the paperwork he has on the POA to see if it explains exactly what he can and can’t do.

Dh and his uncle want to just turn up at the hospital and ask to see him but I’m pretty sure that won’t work. This is why we’re wondering if he can use the POA so to speak.

Don’t think the POA will overrule hospital’s visiting policy. If the POA says you have to act jointly if the person has lost capacity your DH will have a voice when it comes to treatment

When my niece was in hospital for a month last month the first person to visit was her mum (her dh was away on training when and was admitted), her mum was logged as the visitor and her dh was not allowed in the whole time. He turned up to try to get in and was turned away.

When my mum was in my dbro was first to visit and again we couldn't change it. They let us change it once when dbro was isolating but warned us that would be the only change and it would not change again. When she was in either renal or ICU no visitors were allowed.

They are very strict here and if one person with poa is already the single assigned visitor it is unlikely to make a difference.

DH has looked out the paperwork and he has lasting power of attorney for property and finance and health and welfare. The stepmum is also named as a power of attorney on both the letters too.

He phoned and spoke to someone today and they said that if he has POA the hospital should let him in to see his dad and he should be being involved in any decisions being made about his health.

Dh wants to phone step mum to say he’s going to come visit and wants to see his dad but I feel she’ll just block him at every turn. We’re also a bit reluctant to phone the hospital to ask if they’d let him in since he has POA because of what happened when his uncle phoned the hospital.

It’s all just a bit of a mess.

I think you're pussy footing around her too much. Just call the hospital (your dh), say who he is and say you'll be coming down to visit, what are the arrangements.
I'd be far more concerned about what his dad is thinking than what his step mum thinks.

Is the power of attorney jointly or separately between dh and sm?

If it is jointly then they both have to agree before anything can happen, if its separately, then one can act on their own unless the other chooses to block them, and then I think a legal battle ensues

It should say on the POA documents.

I would send your DH down to London for a couple of nights to talk to sm and the hospital and get all this cleared up face to face

@SeaToSki

Is the power of attorney jointly or separately between dh and sm?

If it is jointly then they both have to agree before anything can happen, if its separately, then one can act on their own unless the other chooses to block them, and then I think a legal battle ensues

It should say on the POA documents.

I would send your DH down to London for a couple of nights to talk to sm and the hospital and get all this cleared up face to face

The letter that dh has states that power of attorney for health and welfare is set up for Mrs step mother and Mr my dh. Since they are both named it looks like they share the POA. They are also named on one for property and finance too.

Dh and his uncle have traveled to London in the hope of seeing his dad/talking to a dr. The sm is not happy and not always answering calls. They tried to phone the hospital to ask after his dad but they wouldn’t tell them anything as they don’t know the password and sm won’t tell them what it is.

Sm did send a message late tonight to say that Today Fil has had a small procedure, we didn’t know was going to happen. We feel that dh should have been consulted on this, not that he would have said no don’t do it, but it seems that sm is calling all the shots.