Need some family law advice!

[JoJo2106]

Hi,

I was wondering if any family solicitors could help?

There is a child arrangement order already in place for my 3 year old son to spend time with his dad. This is on a weekend, every weekend and has been since DS was 15 months old. He should have midweek contact on a Wednesday but can't do this due to his job involves him mainly working away Mon to Fri. DS is now in nursery 4 days a week and will start school next year once he is 5. I've discussed with my ex about our arrangement changing to alternate weekends so I am able to spend quality time with our son too and he is refusing. I have spoken to 2 solicitors (free 30 minutes) just for some initial advice and they both have said I should get the alternate weekends and advised me to start the process now as covid has delayed court a lot. So I have started the process of mediation and I'm awaiting an appointment.

What I would like to ask is how easy would it be for my ex to ask for and get a 50/50 arrangement, if say for instance he looked for a new job so he wasn't working away? But taking into consideration he still would have to facilitate the school runs etc, which I'm not sure in his line of work he would be able to start work after 9am and leave to collect him at 3.30. He doesn't really have anyone to do the school runs for him he has little family and the only person I could think could do it is his dad and he is in his late 70's and has health problems.

I was wondering if a judge or magistrate would consider this if my ex wouldn't be able to facilitate a school run every day, I am not working as I am signed off for medical reasons so I would be able to do all the school drop off and pick ups and currently do it at nursery too. I don't have an issue with it I just want to be prepared for it if he was to ask for this, and just wondered what a judge or magistrate would take into consideration when granting a 50/50 arrangement. We don't have any contact other than a contact book and aren't allowed to meet so my mum does all handovers.

Thanks in advance

He could pay for a childminder or school club like other working parents though.

@RedHelenB yes possibly, to be honest I'm not even sure he will ask for this as we've been out of court 2.5 years and hasn't bothered about changing his job so far to go for 50/50 but just wanted to be prepared just incase. I wasn't sure what judges/magistrates looked for with things like that, tbh in his line of work it will never be a 9-5 job he would be out very early morning (say 6am) so not sure what would happen with ds at that time of morning before school at 9am. This is why I was asking if he can't actually facilitate the school runs would a judge take that into account when I would already be available to do all the school runs. Just wondering how the court viewed it that's all.

It's hard to see a judge allowing that in his current situation.

And given the fact he hasn't tried to change things to accommodate 1 night a week, it wouldn't seem to have been a huge priority.

@MrsBertBibby no definitely not in his current situation as he works away all week, but I was more wondering what would happen if he actually got a job with another firm where he didnt have to work away all week. But as i say getting ds to and from school would still be an issue for him. He has said a few times to me if it wasn't for his work he would have went for 50/50 at the time & got it. But he's never made any effort to change his job so as you say it's not obviously a priority. But I think he might rethink things if he's only getting to see DS every other weekend. He thinks because of his job he should have every single weekend.

I am going to be offering every other weekend, still keep the Wednesday night for tea in there just incase there ever is a time he is able to do it. And half of all school holidays.

Can anyone help with some further advice please? I have attended a MIAM appointment and have just heard back today that my ex partner is unwilling to do mediation, I will post exactly how it was worded:

We confirm that Mr. X has indicated he does not feel mediation will be beneficial until your employment status has changed as that will have a bearing on any arrangements to be made. He is therefore not wanting to arrange a mediation assessment at this stage.

I am signed off work on a long term basis due to health reasons, I wasn't aware me working or not would have any relevance to me been awarded alternate weekends, as 5 days a week I will just be doing school runs and still have bo quality time with DS.

Could anyone in the know please confirm if I'm thinking along the right lines.

Thanks x