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Legal matters

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Original poster

Anyone know about top up Maintenance

28 replies

OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 13:58

I'm currently receiving the max child maintenance from my ex.

He is a high earner and supports his eldest son from a previous marriage with schooling and an incredible monthly allowance. Not to mention the money he pays separately to his ex wife.

I've never asked for more than the child maintenance amount. But in September I'm going into the final year of my 2nd degree, so will be out of work, due to placement I need to complete to graduate.

I desperately need a car and help with child care cost. Legally under certain laws (children act, schedule 1)you can make claims for additional financial support, if the father earns above the child maintenance threshold. I have asked him as we are amicable, but he has said he doesn't want to jeopardise his ex wife's and son's standard of living to assist with childcare costs. I don't think it would affect them one bit.

He lives in a house worth over £2.5m alone. Has a variety of sports cars etc, property in different countries, you get my point.

I live in social housing, very small property, not had a car for a year. No debt, but I also no savings, I live month to month. But I get buy, I'm starting to worry as the lifestyle differences are so obvious now, especially with my son and his elder son I'm concerned my son will eventually notice how different they are treated.

Not sure what to do and if I should escalate it. We get on well, but I think he's just been lucky that I'm not a fighter, but now I feel I need this extra help until I'm back at work.

Has anyone experienced this, any advice would be great. I hear mums net is savage... But I'm here for it. Lol

OP posts:
MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 24/05/2021 14:18

We're moving this thread over to our Legal Matters topic for the OP.

Babyroobs · 24/05/2021 14:30

I'm not sure what you are asking for - spousal maintenance? Were you married ?
If you are getting the maximum CM then that must surely be a lot if is a high earner.
You may be able to claim childcare costs through grants etc at Uni.

Collaborate · 24/05/2021 14:35

@Babyroobs

I'm not sure what you are asking for - spousal maintenance? Were you married ? If you are getting the maximum CM then that must surely be a lot if is a high earner. You may be able to claim childcare costs through grants etc at Uni.
CM may not be a lot if there are other children to pay for.

OP: if you are not married you need to apply to the court for top up maintenance but only if his gross annual income exceeds £156k. Also consider a schedule 1 claim to meet your housing needs.

If you are married you need to speak to a solicitor about spouse maintenance and capital claims generally.

VoodooQueenofthebayou · 24/05/2021 14:38

Not sure a court would support a top up given that you are a full time student doing their second degree.

Do you work OP? if not you may be told to find work first.

VoodooQueenofthebayou · 24/05/2021 14:40

Just re-read and see you don't work. Not sure this is going to be an easy path for you OP. His assets such as house have no bearing and his actual declared income may not be what you think.

Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 15:03

Yes he certainly earns over 156k the cmo confirmed that. What he pays for schooling for his son, his sons allowance, his ex wifes allowance and what he paid towards his mortgage, makes it obvious he like earns double that. What you are saying sounds right.

OP posts:
Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 15:05

I am currently working. But won't be from September. I will have some financial help with grants, but one of my placements is shift base with 1/3 being over nights. Not enough grant to cover the childcare costs

OP posts:
Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 15:07

We were never married. Kind of glad, kind of not 🤣

OP posts:
DinoHat · 24/05/2021 15:13

I think you need to contact a family solicitor, most have a hour frees consult.

Are CMS calculating how much he should be paying you right now? Even if they base it on £156k it will still be a hefty son irrespective of the other children.

What I don’t understand is why he is happy to provide more support to his other son, but not you? Not that that really matters.

SavoyCabbage · 24/05/2021 15:14

Can your ds spend more time with his dad when you are on your placement to take some of the pressure off you?

How old is your son?

Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 15:20

DinoHat. I think he feels more obliged to do the right thing by his older son as he was married to his mum and they have a court settlement.and he chose to leave his ex wife so I think he feels the need to provide for his son. More so.

Although we were together a while. We weren't married, everyrime he asked me to move in I wouldn't, because I did my want to risk loosing me home and I was the one who left him. So hes got this grudge against me. He probably thinks you could have had it all but you chose to leave.

They see each other once a week, he can't do much more due to his work commitments Funnily enough.

OP posts:
DinoHat · 24/05/2021 15:22

Perhaps some of his obligation is towards her and is spousal maintenance rather than child maintenance, which is separate and his choice.

But if you’re entitled to more CMS than you’re getting then definitely explore that.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 24/05/2021 15:22

Your Maintenance must be a lot with him earning that much.

Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 15:35

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel. While I'm working it definitely helps. But when things change.. I'm left short. Our standard of living in comparison is very different to his dad. No outside space we live in the top of a house conversion. No space to store a bike, so he can't have one. His bedroom is what I created with a stunt wall. Our home is too small to have a table. His dad's home is 6 bedrooms. Large garden. Garage gym. A room just for his art. Garden office.... Which is basically the size of my home. As a mother I couldnt treat 2 children differently, but to say no he can't help us because it might affect his ex wife and elder son seems abit mean.

Dinohat: you are right, your suggestions are the way forward. Thank you so much. I'd only need help for a year max

OP posts:
user1471457751 · 24/05/2021 15:59

I think it's a bit of a cheek to ask him to support your studying when, even when you were together, you didn't really commit to him. Sounds like a casual relationship that produced a child

DinoHat · 24/05/2021 16:00

Can you claim tax credits whilst being a student? I know they have a childcare element.

I would focus on getting the max CMS you’re entitled to for your child. Actually your own circumstances of needing extra help because you’ve chosen to study are irrelevant for CMS.

Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 16:02

user1471457751 are you the mums net savage. Lol

OP posts:
Original poster
OxfordMum90 · 24/05/2021 16:21

DinoHat: I will look into benefit options. Hoping they are available to me. I've been studying too hard and working to many dodgy shifts, to fail my final year.

Just spoke with a solicitor via a free advice centre.
If I have the max cmo calculations (which I do)
I am entitled to increased monthly top ups.

Lump sums

Transferral or a lump sum to meet property needs.

Carers allowance for a car

Education allowance for my son if I wish for him to be privately educated.

The solicitor said the child's life style should reflect that of his parents joint income. Basically all I need is an extra £320 a month for a year towards childcare.

He advised I talk to my sons dad about mediation first, as these cases can be very complicated.

OP posts:
VoodooQueenofthebayou · 24/05/2021 16:24

As a mother I couldnt treat 2 children differently

That's not really the point though, a lot of your circumstances are down to choices made by you. You are choosing to be a student rather than provide additional support to your child. I'm sure you will argue that your long term earning potential will be higher but you made the choice to go into poverty for a year with a dependant child to achieve that. Most people would own that decision rather than trying to obligate someone else through their own choices. You are equally as responsible for the life your child has in the here and now, as well as in the future.

A court will look at the choices you are making to put you into this situation and the first one is your responsibility to financially support your child 50% as well. If he is as rich as you say he will no doubt have good legal representation that will make this case very strongly.

If he doesn't want to step up you are going to have a fight on your hands. From an outside perspective your situation isn't as sympathetic as I think you feel it is.

VoodooQueenofthebayou · 24/05/2021 16:26

Of course they will say that OP! they want your business. Be careful, what a solicitor says is not the same as what a court will rule. He will equally have legal representation to fight this and you may find yourself in major cash burn to pursue a shopping list of wants with the solicitor shrugging at the end of it saying 'oh well!'.

Good luck to you but please be careful.

Skeptadad · 24/05/2021 16:44

CMS if for the child not for you to have a car etc. Even if you could say it would be nice to have a car, how often would that car be used for your child and how often would you be using it?

A majority of this language is what you are entitled to. Not what your child is entitled to. It reads like you want your ex partners wealth to subside your life/career.

DinoHat · 24/05/2021 16:50

Of course they will say that OP! they want your business. Be careful, what a solicitor says is not the same as what a court will rule.

OP doesn’t sound like she has all that much money. Solicitors don’t want work from someone with little prospect of success and with no means to pay.

spottyshowercap · 24/05/2021 16:51

I would not trust that solicitor that advice does not sound correct and sometimes solicitors may lead you on so that you'll follow up with a paid appointment at which you are let down gently.

I would have thought the CM with that salary would be sufficient to pay for your dc needs in addition to child benefit?
If not, generally it's advisable to stay in work and save until you can afford to be unemployed through your studies.

prh47bridge · 24/05/2021 16:53

@VoodooQueenofthebayou

Not sure a court would support a top up given that you are a full time student doing their second degree.

Do you work OP? if not you may be told to find work first.

What the OP is doing is irrelevant for child maintenance. If the father earns over £156k the courts will order top-up child maintenance.
Babyroobs · 24/05/2021 16:54

@Skeptadad

CMS if for the child not for you to have a car etc. Even if you could say it would be nice to have a car, how often would that car be used for your child and how often would you be using it?

A majority of this language is what you are entitled to. Not what your child is entitled to. It reads like you want your ex partners wealth to subside your life/career.

No one ever checks up on what CM is used for !!