Legal child matter

[Cookiemammaa]

Hi im mother of 2 age 13 and 16 raised them as single parent since my youngest was 9 month old mr ex has gone to family court and cafcuss for child arrangement because he wants to be daddy NOW!
I had my solicitor but he was no good so I ditched him lol . In short I'm wondering if I can represent my self in court instead of finding a new solicitor I do qualify for legal aid because I suffered domestic abuse from ex but I'm mentally ready to tell my life story from start to get help I want to be brave enough to tell judge but I don't know HOW 😕🤐🤨
I'm really confused cos it's not about me it's about my children the children he nearly never seen now out of no where he wants to build relationship
Cafcuss done interviews report is due some time in end of August.
Do I need to tell my side of story to judge eg abusive relationship Cafcuss has provided police reports in first reports.
So in short SOLICITOR OR NO SOLICITOR...

He was abuser I was victim but he gets legal aid and I have to pay 😐😐😐😐
If it all depends on children's wishes is it even worth of telling the abuse I suffered I can do anything to protect my children but they are old enough to speak for them selves x

What are you actually looking to do, stop him from seeing the children? At 13 and 16, cafcass will listen to their wishes but you need to show you are willing to facilitate the relationship if your children would like to see him. Maybe Women's Aid could advise you.

The court cannot make such an order for a child aged 16.

You should get a solicitor. It sounds like you might want to swamp the court with a very long history of the past. Your case is advanced to the point that the Cafcass report is imminent. You need a lawyer to steer you in the right direction.

You really do need a solicitor, in the nicest possible way the courts won’t care about your life story. Unfortunately in the eyes of the law an abusive partner doesn’t make an abusive parent, you need a decent solicitor to argue your daughters case, it’s likely the courts will listen to her at 13, but you don’t know what your doing and need the best possible chance to protect her.

Who gets legal aid as you change your story a bit...?

In what way was your Solicitor no good?

PP is right about the 16 year old. The court won’t make an order.

What does the 13 year old want?

'You really do need a solicitor, in the nicest possible way the courts won’t care about your life story. Unfortunately in the eyes of the law an abusive partner doesn’t make an abusive parent, you need a decent solicitor to argue your daughters case, it’s likely the courts will listen to her at 13, but you don’t know what your doing and need the best possible chance to protect her.'

This.

Judge will be unlikely to want to hear all of backstory...s/he will want summary at best. Get a solicitor who knows this area of law & can advise you & represent you properly.

I get this is very hard for you, I'm so sorry.

The courts are very unlikely to put any weight on historic abuse that happened over a decade ago, unless there's been a history of ongoing and recent abuse. Attempts to bring it up now could leave you perceived as 'hostile'. Courts look at what is in the child's best interests, not the parents. An abusive man is not an abusive father (so say the courts) therefore generally the courts will go to quite some length to facilitate contact, as some contact is better than none. I say this not to dismiss the DV, but rather because it's how the courts look at things. My solicitor was my savior and helped ensure the outcome was safe contact.

A court will not usually make a child arrangements order for a 16 year old, however may for a 13 year old if it's deemed in their best interests. At 13, the child's wishes and feelings will bear great weight but will not be the only consideration.

Please get a solicitor who can advise you and help you position your defense towards the best outcome for your children. You don't mention your children's views on having contact, if you haven't I'd strongly recommend you understand what they would like to happen. If you let yourself be led by what they need and want you can't go wrong in court. Whatever you do, don't disparage him. If he is your typical abuser, he'll show his true colours - a leopard never changes their spots. My ex dug his own hole and showed himself for who he was without me ever mentioning the abuse.