Changing children’s surnames to double barrelled. How much chance do I have?

[rainysunnyMay]

After a long time of building up the courage, I finally asked my ex if he would agree to change our children’s names to have both of our surnames. They currently just have his. I’d like to have my surname added so that it is double barrelled.

He’s not keen on the idea, which I expected to be honest. But I have my reasons which I have fully explained to him, and he said he will think about it.

If he still says no, and I have to apply through the courts, how much chance do I have here? I know they are very strict about it. I do not want to erase their father’s name and that’s not what this is about. So when it comes to double barrelling, are the courts more accepting of this as the name will ultimately have both names instead of just replacing one?

Has anyone else gone through this process?

@CoffeeBeansGalore

From a Family Law firm

The Outcome of Court Proceedings

It’s common for the Family Court to agree for a child’s surname to be changed to a double barrel, to include the surnames of the separated parents. This is usually the fairest result and it means that each parent has an equally strong role in their child’s life.

Our Family and Child Law Solicitors have many years’ of experience in dealing with disputes over children and can help you.

I note you don't link to the website.

There has to be a good reason (related to the child's welfare) to change the name. The mother simply feeling better about it is not good enough.

It used to be the case in the 80s and 90s that a mother could argue about there being a stigma her child having a different name to the rest of the family but that no longer applies.

Unless there is a strong request from the child themselves (and the child is old enough to decide the se things for themselves) the court may not grant the change.

I have come across cases where the mother has remarried and has changed her name to new husband's and wants to change child's name to match. I can never understand why you'd want your child to bear the name of a man not related to them. What do they do if that marriage breaks down too?

Oh - and "This is usually the fairest result and it means that each parent has an equally strong role in their child’s life" is nonsense. A child's name has nothing to do with the role you play in their life.

The family law firm quoted. www.simpsonmillar.co.uk.

My first line: Check with a family law solicitor.

The seminal case in this area of law is Dawson v Wearmouth in 1999.

The following principles arise from that judgment (taken from the legal publication Butterworths Family Law Service:

(1) If the parents are married, they both have the power and duty to register their child's names, and each has an equal voice in the name to be chosen at the outset.

(2) If they are not married, the mother has the sole duty and power to do so. The initial choice is hers, and she can change the surname; but the father has the right to challenge both choice and change under the Children Act 1989, s 8.

(3) After registration of the child's names, the grant of a child arrangements order (formerly a residence order) obliges any person wishing to change the surname to obtain the leave of the court or the written consent of all those who have parental responsibility.

(4) In the absence of a child arrangements order (formerly a residence order), the person wishing to change the surname from the registered name must obtain the relevant written consent or the leave of the court by making an application for a specific issue order.

(5) In any application the welfare of the child is paramount.

(6) Among the factors to which the court should have regard is the registered surname of the child and the reasons for the registration, for instance recognition of the biological link with the child's father. Registration is always a relevant and important consideration, but is not in itself decisive.

(7) Relevant considerations should include factors which could arise in the future as well as the present.

(8) Reasons given for changing or seeking to change a child's name based on the fact that his name is not the same as the parent making the application do not generally carry much weight.

(9) The reasons for an earlier unilateral decision to change a child's name may be relevant.

(10) Any change of circumstances of the child since the original registration may be relevant.

(11) In the case of a child whose parents are married to each other, the fact of the marriage is important, and there will have to be strong reasons to change the name from the father's surname if the child has been so registered.

(12) Where the child's parents are not married to each other, the mother has control over registration. Consequently, on an application to change the surname of the child, the degree of commitment of the father to the child, the quality of contact, if it has occurred, between them, the existence or absence of parental responsibility are all relevant factors to take into account

TBH @Collaborate that doesn’t really take into account the coercion that new mums are often subject to, does it?

There are constant tales of men saying “Give the baby my name, and we will get married next year.” Then it doesn’t happen.

I know the best remedy is to get women to realise all this ahead of time, but that judgement doesn’t feel like a complete (social) answer to the issue even if it’s the legal precedent (and yes I know which board we are on but it’s an interesting subject!)

On a slightly different point, at what age would a child’s own desire to double barrel be sufficient for an order?

@RickiTarr

TBH *@Collaborate* that doesn’t really take into account the coercion that new mums are often subject to, does it?

There are constant tales of men saying “Give the baby my name, and we will get married next year.” Then it doesn’t happen.

I know the best remedy is to get women to realise all this ahead of time, but that judgement doesn’t feel like a complete (social) answer to the issue even if it’s the legal precedent (and yes I know which board we are on but it’s an interesting subject!)

On a slightly different point, at what age would a child’s own desire to double barrel be sufficient for an order?

This part of the site helps people understand what the law is. Given the unmarried mother of a child has the sole legal right to name the child try not to turn it in to a battle of the sexes.

And in any event if a mother can prove on the balance of probability that she was coerced by the father that may be taken in to account. However the example you give is not coercion.

Battle of the sexes? Hmm.

You didn’t answer the second question @Collaborate

There’s no set age. Children mature at different rates. A child’s decision is to all intents an purposes determinative at age 15 for most issues. It’s a sliding scale down from that.

Interesting. Thanks.

On a slightly different point, at what age would a child’s own desire to double barrel be sufficient for an order?

There isn't a defined age for that. What matters is the child's ability to understand the situation and the consequences of their actions.

The problem is that once a child is old enough to say they want their name changed they will have already had several years of being known as Master X by their friends and teachers. 14yr old DS has said he'd rather have my name but what a palava it would be doing it now he's halfway through secondary school.

Ideally I would have changed it before he started school but I wouldn't have been able to.

I was very much coerced (ie; screamed at) into not double barrelling them on the birth cert.

Funny this I noticed my ex has started changing our daughters name to hers with health services. Ironically I said we could double barrel our daughters name before she left. Following her behaviour afterward she I wouldn't want our daughter to carry her surname.

@Skeptadad

Funny this I noticed my ex has started changing our daughters name to hers with health services. Ironically I said we could double barrel our daughters name before she left. Following her behaviour afterward she I wouldn't want our daughter to carry her surname.

Assuming you have PR, the NHS certainly should not accept any name change without evidence that it has been agreed by everyone with PR. You could apply to court for a Specific Issue Order to stop your ex from changing your daughter's name in this way.

The child can change their name when they are older if they want so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Plus if they are girls they may chose to take their husbands name when they get older.

I'm really not bothered as long as my daughter is happy and healthy that's my main concern. I have emailed the department involved to correct some things that needed to be corrected in a nice way and attached her birth certificate.

Ive told my family that I would like her surname changed to mums should I pass away so she would feel part of her maternal family.

Stop confusing children with name changes! They are not possessions or pets. They know their names so let it be. If dc want something different, that’s up to them. Some children are utterly confused by various names being attached to them down the years. Where do they belong? They feel lost.

I changed my daughters just to mine back in 2005. We was going through court for contact and her father found out I’d changed it through the court papers, he was merely told he would have to take it to court as a separate issue and he never did.

My daughter never knew her original surname, she even went on to change it to her stepdads at 16 through her own choice.

@PresentingPercy exactly why they should double barrel both parents surnames. To show they belong in BOTH families. Not just one based on very old fashioned views.

From birth yes. Changing names when children are older is hard for them. Belonging sounds like ownership and it’s all about the parents. Dc who are emotionally pulled around by parents don’t thrive. Judges know this. Hence there is some reluctance to agree.

But the courts won't allow a parent to double barrell names without asking the absent parent.

Mine are stuck with a name that will now be a faff to change as older teenagers. I should have been allowed to double barrell it before they started school.